Am Loolah

Because am a Fairy I have created International Childrens' Week.

This week I am adopting the life of my kids ...

No alcohol
No smoking
Shall go to work for the interaction and spend all night on the phone or texting people I have spent all day with
No snogging/sex
Wafting around in a sea of hormones, unpredictable and irrational
Eating what is put in front of me and then leaving most of it and surreptiously stealing treats
Crying at every available opportunity until I get my own way
Singing and dancing in public
Saying "like" 10 times in every sentence
Making long phonecalls to "no-one"

And you?

jojobooster

"Whatever!!!"


Oops, started already!

Like, yeah, sounds cool.

Can I throw lots of tantrums, slam doors and stamp my feet?

Jo

FishermansFriend

TEENAGE binge drinkers are having a great time getting totally wrecked with their mates and generally having a huge laugh, a new study has found.


The chances of being invited to a house party in a posh suburb, raiding the drinks cabinet, getting some snogs, dancing wildly to really repetitive music, and then doing a number two in the middle of the front room before leaving were all vastly increased.

Dr Wayne Hayes, head of teenage studies at Dundee University, said the research was incontrovertible proof that modern teenagers were drinking loads, going out all the time having fun, and getting tons of sex. “The bastards,” he added.

“I am sure they are storing up the problems for the future. They better be, otherwise I wasted all my teenage years cramming for my exams when I could have been out getting pissed and shagging,” he said.

Bobby Timms, 15, of Belshill, Lanarkshire, said he had never had so much fun in his life until he discovered the delights of Mad Dog 20/20 mixed with some additive rich Sunny Delight to encourage “a nice bit of the old hyper-activity” with his girlfriend.

However, he denied that modern teenage life was a constant whirl of drink, partying and sex. “It’s much, much better than that, granddad,” he said.


Meanwhile, Tory leader David Cameron has promised to take every 16 year-old in Britain to the pub and buy them a pint to encourage them to act more like adults.

He said: “We want our teenagers to feel they are an integral part of British society. They can’t really do that unless they are disinterested and half-pissed most of the time like the rest of us.”

Mr Timms added: “What a bleeding creep.”

Happy Wanderer

I'm going to:

Get up in the morning and have a hot bubble bath someone else has run

Soak the bathroom with a Fairy washing up bottle whilst naked apart from my bubble beard and moustache

Wear every pair of underpants I own at the same time, just because I can

Shout "I'm having a poo!" as loud as I can right through the house, followed by "I'm finished" and then wait with my hands by my toes and my bum in the air until the 'bum wiping fairy' magically appears with some Andrex

Jump on the trampoline wearing swimming goggles, a cape and waving my light saber at passing traffic

Leave my house wearing orange plastic clogs and a Spiderman suit

Get my head stuck in a towel rail in the loo adjacent to the headmaster's office, then wait whilst a growing number of adults (including headmaster) work out how to free me without cutting off my ears

Listen to crazy frog on repeat until the rest of the house is foaming at the mouth

Blame everything on the tooth fairy

Play with my friends all day, annoy my brother all afternoon

Leave finger marks on every clean window/TV/surface

Fart loudly without embarrassment

Get tucked into bed with a story and a big kiss

Fall asleep dreaming of chocolate and sweets

sarahlou2411

Dont think I can top that fantastic

UKNZAUS

Karma for that! I'm wetting myself laughing here!

sarahlou2411

More more...we scream for more would take me a whole day to think somethin like that up

UKNZAUS

I would sit on my Nintendo Wii all night after school, replying to everyone who spoke to me with 'Ugh' and looking at them like they were green!

Happy Wanderer

Thank you!!

I swear it's all true. He's also started making up very odd words, slipping them into his sentences and telling people he's speaking Chinese

Goes down well with the locals especially the Chinese

Happy Wanderer

You sound like my other son, I bet your not an obstroppallous pre-teen though with an aversion to daylight and deodorant

We've tried telling him he won't get any tongue action whilst snogging if he doesn't floss - but apparently that just " like gross mum "

UKNZAUS

He's only 10 !!! They grow up so quick these days

Happy Wanderer

Too true, he's just 11 but looks about 13. There's a lot of door slamming and raging hormones at the moment, I'm sure the clog wearing Spider Jedi isn't helping He keeps hiding rubber snakes and toy spiders everywhere - which is no fun when your house backs onto the jungle and the last nasty you had to deal with was a 6 inch scorpion in the bathroom

Thank heavens for Dyson and Tuppaware!! the 'burping box' and bagless cleaner really are a housewife's best friend - though I think we're buggered if the crocs find their way up here.