Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > New Zealand
Reload this Page >

I needed a laugh- now I need my bed!

I needed a laugh- now I need my bed!

Old Dec 17th 2009, 9:07 am
  #1  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
jennifer45's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
jennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond reputejennifer45 has a reputation beyond repute
Default I needed a laugh- now I need my bed!

Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)
----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
-----------------------------------------------
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)
( c'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favourite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
then you are just an old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back,
' University of Oklahoma '.
And they say blondes are dumb.........!!
---------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
----------------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods, because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
-------------------------------------------- --
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------- -----
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
----------------------------------------------

Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day! Send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humour to take it!
jennifer45 is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2009, 1:55 pm
  #2  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 25
powderman75 has a brilliant futurepowderman75 has a brilliant futurepowderman75 has a brilliant futurepowderman75 has a brilliant futurepowderman75 has a brilliant futurepowderman75 has a brilliant future
Default Re: I needed a laugh- now I need my bed!



number 4 is def my favorite!
powderman75 is offline  
Old Dec 19th 2009, 11:45 am
  #3  
BE Forum Addict
 
j19fmm's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Pakaraka
Posts: 3,264
j19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond reputej19fmm has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I needed a laugh- now I need my bed!

Lovely, I needed a laugh too! x
j19fmm is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.