rf29

Hi all, my partner and I are both nurses here in the UK, currently living in rural southwest England. My partner is very keen to move to NZ as soon as possible. We have a baby son and I am very reluctant to make the move as I would miss my family and friends and the support that I have here at home. I am extremely close to my family,my partner is not close with his. My partner is adamant that our future would be brighter in NZ, especially for our son. Just wondered if anybody else has been in a similar situation?

Kotare

My personal opinion is that you would seriously miss the family etc which would cause problems downstream As a family, we are quite content with e-mails, video Skype etc and a trip offshore once a year to see grandchildren, BUT we are all very independent (children went to boarding school at 8..we lived all round the world) so are used to it.

If you move, the start of school (5) is the best time for your son, so you could hang on in UK until you no longer need so much support or you feel more positive about it.

barnsleymat

Having a baby with no family around you is tough, really tough. You'd be mental to up and leave with a baby, emigrating can be hard enough as it is without the added stress of having a baby to look after too. I know first hand, we had our baby boy in December and it's been very tough, I canlt stress enough how tough it has been. Physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.

I have to comment on your partner saying your sons future would be brighter in NZ than it would be in rural South West England. I struggle to see how, you live in a lovely part of the UK and I can't think of any reason why life would be brighter in NZ.

Honestly, stay put, at least for now.

MrsFychan

and how has your partner determined that life would be brighter in NZ, especially for your son?

unless your partner has a degree and has worked in the nursing field for some time he may find it impossible to get a job unless even if you are the one returning to nursing and he stays at home. You will have to pass the IELT by gaining at least level 7 before you can apply for your NZ Registration that allows you to work, then see if any accredited companies have any jobs.

How much money does your partner think you would need to get the visas and then the cost for the move?

escapedtonz

I don't see how you'd be better off in NZ than where you are now?
One of the main reasons for us coming here was for our children and their future, BUT if all else failed for us on the migration to NZ idea our back up plan was either rural SW England (Cornwall) or rural North Yorkshire where we were married as we have friends who live both.
We we're lucky enough to be approved for permanent visas fro NZ and long story short we haven't really looked back but it hasn't been easy. Not having any support is tough. Living in each others pockets is tough. The only difference for us being we both wanted to do it and we were both very keen. It wasn't one pushing the other to try it.
Even though we came here with open eyes and without the rose tinted glasses it has been challenging. It takes some getting used to and of course it is gut wrenching leaving lifelong friends and close family behind with all the promises for them to come over and visit when in reality only a tiny % of them will due to the high costs of a family to get here. Missing family has been especially tough on the Mrs as she is very close to hers whereas for me it's been relatively easy as I'm not super close with mine.
NZ hasn't disappointed us at all for what it offers us and the children and we wouldn't ever return now after living the NZ life for 4.5 years but I'd guess we could have had the same by staying in the UK and moving away from the cities where we were near (Preston/Wigan/Liverpool/Manchester) and to somewhere more rural with a village feel in the country?

Now, both being nurses you would have to check out Home - Nursing Council of New Zealand and International registration / Nurses / Home - Nursing Council of New Zealand and Registered nurse / Education / Home - Nursing Council of New Zealand

Now, I'm led to believe you can still become registered if you don't have a recognized nursing degree at Bachelor level or Level 7 as they look at your qualifications and skills/experience and each application is looked at on it's individual merits.
Takes a while to become registered. Took the Mrs maybe 4 months and the hardest thing about it was gathering all her evidence from the UK to actually send to the Nursing Council here in NZ. Obviously you cannot practice without registration, police checks and of course it's mandatory for the applicant to pass IELTS academic at minimum overall of 7.0 irrespective of your background and even though the Mrs is English through and through she found the IELTS test a challenge.

If you looked at a permanent visa like the Skilled Migrant Visa you'd need an EOI with at least 140 points if you were to apply without a job offer as any less wouldn't be selected. If you had a job offer there is a good chance of being selected with points between 100 and 135. All EOI's with 140 points and more get automatic selection irrespective of a job offer or not.
If you couldn't qualify this way or didn't want to go this route as it takes a while then the other option is to get a written job offer and try for a temporary work visa - like an Essential Skills Work Visa or a Work To Residency visa which don't take as long to process and allow travel quicker if approved.

Gotta ask yourself if a move to the other side of the world is right for you before getting in to all that malarkey though which I fear is going to be your biggest hurdle. Being dragged here against your will isn't going to work out so it's time for a serious talk with the other half.

mikelincs

Firstly, emigration will cost several thousand pounds, then you will need another several thousand to set up home in NZ, remember that if you are shipping your goods, they will not arrive until several weeks after you do.
The usual comment about moving to a different country for a 'brighter future' is that in fact, its really 'same shit, different bucket'.
If the two of you are so much at odds over a move, then it's really going to cause huge problems down the line, in fact it would be a recipe for disaster. The two of you need to sit down and sort out the problems it will cause if you do, or don't move, each one of you seems to have some sort of entrenched view.

scot47

People are seduced by what they see on TV. This is not always an accurate reflection of reality. How has your partner arrived at his conclusion about life in NZ ?

inkedneonurse

On the registration point this is true they take each case individually however I am currently 6 months into the process and my registration consultant wants yet more information. So far I'm around £2500 into it and that's just the registration and things you need for it. The academic IELTS is difficult but not impossible.

Accent health recruitment offer free advice and job finding

However if you are unsure about anything best advice is don't do it. It's not like jumping over the pond to France it's the other side of the world and nursing wages out there put you squarely in a low income bracket.

rf29

Thanks for your reply. It wouldn't happen before our son is out of the baby stage, I've made that clear. It really is just the missing the family thing that's holding me back.

bourbon-biscuit

The "just missing the family thing" is massive and has driven many back to the UK. What about coming for a year as a lifestyle experience? Then you can enjoy your time in NZ and know you will be heading home - and while your son is preschool such a plan would not be a problem. Once home again you have real experience to use in considering a permanent move if that is what you both wish.

Dorothy

That sounds like a good plan, but it also comes with its own pitfalls. What if at the end of the year the partner says he doesn't want to go home? Does she then stay? Does she go home - potentially on her own? I'm not 100% sure about New Zealand visas but I do know a couple of people who came to Australia on the condition that it was for 2 years and if either partner wanted to go home they would. At the end of it one partner wanted to go and the other didn't. Since the kids were now habitually resident in Australia that meant either a custody battle or going home alone or staying somewhere you don't want to be.

Actually, I know that couple intimately. I'm the one who wasn't happy in Perth and wanted to move either back home or to the east coast where I wasn't so isolated. My (now) ex husband refused to honour our agreement to go home and he also refused to allow me to take our under aged children. We have been in Australia for 10 years now and it's just in the last few months that I have started the process of leaving my adult children here while I go back to Canada (where I'm from).

OP, I would think very long and hard about giving up your otherwise good life in the UK for the dreams your partner has. Emigrating is difficult enough when you are both sure of the decision, never mind when one of you has doubts.

bourbon-biscuit

Bloody hell Dorothy, that is a dreadful situation to find yourself in. I'm proper sorry for your troubles.

Revised advice for the OP now: if you can come out to NZ on a visa that is *strictly* temporary then come and try for a year. If not, and in your heart you would rather not risk a permanent emigration, then dig your heels in and stay in the UK - it might cost you your relationship but that must surely be better than finding yourself in Dorothy's situation.

MrsFychan

also remember that if you are out of the country for more than 3years you will have to school the children if you return to the UK as International students even if there were born in the UK.

Kotare

I would like a reference for that. I have switched in and out of UK school systems/med systems at will (as long as I changed to UK tax resident.

bourbon-biscuit

I suspect MrsFychan was posting in haste and doesn't realise that it reads as if she means school education. Her post is *technically* true for university education where you are classed as an international student unless you have been ordinarily resident for three years prior to the course commencing. However, if you trawl the MBTTUK forum you will read stories of people circumventing that by either luck or design.
It is definitely something to be very aware of if you are not likely to be in the position of being able to fund your children through university.