rason

Now after reading a lot of posts on here over the last couple of years and in my own experience is it fair to say generally women struggle with homesickness more then men?

Ive been homesick myself on and off but it seems worse for women. Or am i just a transient?

JohnThePom

It's true in our household. Though the missus was worst during the first three months she's adjusted for the most part now.

Jan n Neil

I,m worse than she is

BEVS

You're just a transient.

I'm worse than old man BEVS is . He would settle if I would 100% settle but I've not been able to for all manner of reasons . That doesn't mean I don't like where we live or value what is around us or what we have gained from coming here. I just don't find it..........enough.

Robbo25

Yep all the others are fine it's just moi

Am Loolah

I'm a girl and never been homesick in nearly 4 years. The ex has been many times, missed his sister and talked often about going back to the UK. Oh, and he's a born Kiwi but bought up in the UK?

Charismatic

What is the difference? The cultures are near as makes no difference the same if you compared with the UK in the 1950’s.

I miss some of my close friends and good beer but moving here was for the better. People who are rational will cope better, if you have the emotional intelligence of a child you will struggle. It’ll take you 5 years to really get settled in anyway.

Jan n Neil

You have summed it up mates and beer, i dont think i miss the actuall place i do miss being valued at my job, just a number here

Charismatic

Stop caring about your work, incompetence and a generally lacklustre performance never got a kiwi fired (it may get you promoted into management but that’s just one of the risks you take). Also expats are so forwards about things like pay rises, the only way to get significant pay raises in New Zealand is to flit between jobs. Loyalty will not pay dividends.

Wessa

Neil, Sorry mate but i feel im just a number here in the uk, for what little time i have left here.. Felt like that in numberous jobs tbh..

A friend of mine said his wife is not 100% settled as she doesn't seem to get out as much as she did in the uk. Tho given the question, she'd rather be here.. No pleasing some people eh..

The general rule i think is that men tend to get on with it and women are more emotional.. So, if your not a woman.. "Get some Nuts" as the snickers ad-Mr T says....

Seriously,Im sure you fello men have your good reasons..

rick78

Assuming we get PR we'll be heading out in July... I think I'll adjust really quick, but wifey will take a little time since she wont be working straight off... but I know for a fact I'm more likely to have a 6-12 month slump when she is picking up... just a gut feeling.

However we're planning on staying for at least 5 years and aiming to give it a bloody good go... so lets see what happens!

Wessa

Funny, we are planning the exact same thing apart from me getting there end of the month etc...
Karen does want to find work asap as she knows the issues women have when "stuck indoors"...
Yeah, we can only see how it goes eh..

rick78

My wife's name is Karen also... freaky

BEVS

Wessa ! I hope you're at least 7 foot tall and know how to arm wrestle.

Neil's made of great stuff although I have absolutely no idea about his nuts.

Persephone

I have had no real bouts of homesickness despite the handicap of being female I moved here to be with my partner and not because I had any great pull to move to NZ nor did I have any real desire or need to leave the UK. I would perhaps have been more likely to have issues with it??

In fact I could see myself moving back if circumstances change and me and Mr S end up not wanting to be together any more. I would be happy living in either the UK or NZ. Anyway we have no plans to split up [as far as I know] so I'm likely to be staying here in NZ.

I think homesickness is something you're either prone to or you're not and generally it does seem to be women who are more likely to suffer from it. I suspect that is more to do with the fact that women tend to form closer bonds with family and friends compared to men. Moving away breaks that bond physically so women tend to miss having that emotional support physically close to them.
I'm in the 'not prone to homesickness' camp so maybe I'm really a man, according to Wessa it looks like I have the requisite [albeit virtual] nuts!