Homesickness
#91
Re: Homesickness
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
**Disclaimer - I was 26 and definitely needed to get some overseas experience.
I do understand the feeling of not belonging. I know I could live in the UK for the rest of my days, probably quite happily with a great family life etc. But in my heart I will never fully fit in and it's not HOME to me (oh god my poor DH as I drag him half way round the world). I really wish you well and if you feel like explaining a bit more more about your experiences I am sure you would be helping lots of other people.
I think it really is such an individual thing isn't it, nothing can prepare you for how you will feel. Like you say you can move back to the UK and NZ can be your second home! I totally get that unexplainable feeling, it is the feeling that enables you to live somewhere despite all the negatives. It's just that gut feeling of being right.
Keep us updated!
Dannigirl
#93
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
Hello everyone
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
#94
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
#95
Re: Homesickness
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
So sorry to hear you are not happy and NZ is not for you.
Good luck with your future plans and please keep us updated.
#96
Re: Homesickness
B, Sorry to hear that you've decided NZ is not for you on a permanent basis and you're going home. It's something only you can decide and none of us know just how we're going to react and feel when we do get here.
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes
I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes
I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
#97
Re: Homesickness
Will keep you updated & let you know when we'll be back!!
B x
#98
Re: Homesickness
B, Sorry to hear that you've decided NZ is not for you on a permanent basis and you're going home. It's something only you can decide and none of us know just how we're going to react and feel when we do get here.
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes
I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes
I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
Best wishes.....see you in the bar
B x
#100
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Re: Homesickness
Good luck to you MnB, it's not easy making such an important decision, but rightly so home is always where the heart is, true saying I believe keep us updated how you get on, best wishes Abigayle.
#101
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
It's been a couple of weeks since I started this thread after a bout of homesickness, just wondered how your all getting on, I feel ok at the moment but know deep down inside its not for me so Im looking forward to the future Ps Support from people that have been there, done that and got the t-shirt has been great, thank you all
#102
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 41
Re: Homesickness
Lots of so true experiences of home sickness. so good to read that we are not alone when not enjoying the ex pat lifestyle 24/7.
I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.
Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).
Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.
Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).
Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
#103
Re: Homesickness
Lots of so true experiences of home sickness. so good to read that we are not alone when not enjoying the ex pat lifestyle 24/7.
I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.
Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).
Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.
Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).
Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
But life is for living and the opportunity to go is there so all I can do is give it a go.
Good luck to you must be terrible to be somewhere you dont want to be. Hope things work out for you
Dewb
#104
Re: Homesickness
Hi,
Had a bad phone call from my mother the other day, which mad me feel so guilty for leaving the UK...family problems.....she was crying saying she wishes i was there with her
So just has i was getting over the homesickness business i now have a guilt trip to contend with
Had a bad phone call from my mother the other day, which mad me feel so guilty for leaving the UK...family problems.....she was crying saying she wishes i was there with her
So just has i was getting over the homesickness business i now have a guilt trip to contend with
#105
Re: Homesickness
Its the one area you just cannot plan for & the one area that I am absolutely dreading. As no amount of research will prepare me for how I will feel leaving family behind especially my older kids .
But life is for living and the opportunity to go is there so all I can do is give it a go.
Good luck to you must be terrible to be somewhere you dont want to be. Hope things work out for you
Dewb
But life is for living and the opportunity to go is there so all I can do is give it a go.
Good luck to you must be terrible to be somewhere you dont want to be. Hope things work out for you
Dewb
but you just dont know until you try it how you will cope!
best wishes to you Frequent Flyer, and your decisions made
Jax