Homesickness

Old Apr 13th 2010, 6:31 am
  #91  
BE Enthusiast
 
dannigirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 696
dannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond reputedannigirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by MnB
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
Oh no Sorry to hear that you have been homesick!! I am a bit shocked. I certainly know the strength of homesickness, I reckon I could get us moved back in 5 mins flat with how I am feeling at the moment. Gives you too much nervous energy doesn't it. Having said that my first year here was so horrendous, I would have gone home at the drop of a hat many times, but am so glad I didn't**.

**Disclaimer - I was 26 and definitely needed to get some overseas experience.

I do understand the feeling of not belonging. I know I could live in the UK for the rest of my days, probably quite happily with a great family life etc. But in my heart I will never fully fit in and it's not HOME to me (oh god my poor DH as I drag him half way round the world). I really wish you well and if you feel like explaining a bit more more about your experiences I am sure you would be helping lots of other people.

I think it really is such an individual thing isn't it, nothing can prepare you for how you will feel. Like you say you can move back to the UK and NZ can be your second home! I totally get that unexplainable feeling, it is the feeling that enables you to live somewhere despite all the negatives. It's just that gut feeling of being right.

Keep us updated!
Dannigirl
dannigirl is offline  
Old Apr 13th 2010, 10:51 am
  #92  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Abigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really nice
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by Kentish Lass
And Good Luck! Abigayle.
thank you Kentish Lass, all the best to you too.
Abigayle is offline  
Old Apr 13th 2010, 9:35 pm
  #93  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Hazey will become famous soon enoughHazey will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by Abigayle
Hello everyone

I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.

We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.

I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.

I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
Just wanted to wish you the very best of Luck with your move back, its a hard decesion to make. Keep us updated
Hazey is offline  
Old Apr 13th 2010, 9:42 pm
  #94  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Hazey will become famous soon enoughHazey will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by MnB
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
Its good to get things off your chest Thanks for your thread. I had to laugh at the central heating comment I miss walking into a house and taking of the layers because its so hot. We just brought a house over the summer so I have yet to see how I feel over the winter, the last place we were in was colder inside then out
Hazey is offline  
Old Apr 13th 2010, 9:43 pm
  #95  
BE Forum Addict
 
RobDon's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Rotorua
Posts: 1,627
RobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond reputeRobDon has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by MnB
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
Hi MnB,
So sorry to hear you are not happy and NZ is not for you.
Good luck with your future plans and please keep us updated.
RobDon is offline  
Old Apr 14th 2010, 3:18 am
  #96  
Queen of the Underworld
 
Persephone's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Persephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond reputePersephone has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

B, Sorry to hear that you've decided NZ is not for you on a permanent basis and you're going home. It's something only you can decide and none of us know just how we're going to react and feel when we do get here.
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes

I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
Persephone is offline  
Old Apr 14th 2010, 5:18 am
  #97  
MnB
 
MnB's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
MnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by RobDon
Hi MnB,
So sorry to hear you are not happy and NZ is not for you.
Good luck with your future plans and please keep us updated.
Thanks RobDon......I'm happy now!! Wasn't aware my heart is would be left in Somerset, living in NZ has always been a dream which we've been fortunate in trying, I do still love NZ and can understand why so many are happy to settle here.
Will keep you updated & let you know when we'll be back!!
B x
MnB is offline  
Old Apr 14th 2010, 5:29 am
  #98  
MnB
 
MnB's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
MnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond reputeMnB has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by Persephone
B, Sorry to hear that you've decided NZ is not for you on a permanent basis and you're going home. It's something only you can decide and none of us know just how we're going to react and feel when we do get here.
Stay in touch and let us know how it all goes

I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't really had a bout of the dreaded homesickness as such. I am increasingly getting a nagging feeling that I need to go back and visit my family and friends. It's nothing major, just a vague restless feeling that it's time. I would only visit my family once or twice a year at most and I've been here for 17m now so I guess I'm overdue my yearly visit
Thanks Persephone, Yep, need to go back to pick up my heart but will be back! Can't believe that 17m have gone by so quickly!!
Best wishes.....see you in the bar
B x
MnB is offline  
Old Apr 14th 2010, 7:05 am
  #99  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Abigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really nice
Smile Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by Hazey
Just wanted to wish you the very best of Luck with your move back, its a hard decesion to make. Keep us updated
Thanks Hazey certainly will do all the best to you too.
Abigayle is offline  
Old Apr 14th 2010, 7:08 am
  #100  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Abigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really niceAbigayle is just really nice
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by MnB
Thanks Persephone, Yep, need to go back to pick up my heart but will be back! Can't believe that 17m have gone by so quickly!!
Best wishes.....see you in the bar
B x
Good luck to you MnB, it's not easy making such an important decision, but rightly so home is always where the heart is, true saying I believe keep us updated how you get on, best wishes Abigayle.
Abigayle is offline  
Old Apr 17th 2010, 8:11 pm
  #101  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Hazey will become famous soon enoughHazey will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Homesickness

It's been a couple of weeks since I started this thread after a bout of homesickness, just wondered how your all getting on, I feel ok at the moment but know deep down inside its not for me so Im looking forward to the future Ps Support from people that have been there, done that and got the t-shirt has been great, thank you all
Hazey is offline  
Old Apr 18th 2010, 7:14 am
  #102  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 41
FrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really niceFrequentFlyer is just really nice
Unhappy Re: Homesickness

Lots of so true experiences of home sickness. so good to read that we are not alone when not enjoying the ex pat lifestyle 24/7.

I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.

Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).

Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
FrequentFlyer is offline  
Old Apr 18th 2010, 8:30 am
  #103  
Scorchy legs
 
Dewb09's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Dewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond reputeDewb09 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by FrequentFlyer
Lots of so true experiences of home sickness. so good to read that we are not alone when not enjoying the ex pat lifestyle 24/7.

I have been in NZ for four years and if anything the homesickness has got a lot worse over the past year............ it is as though OK we have seen it done it and now we need to go back home - as family over there are ageing and it feels like time is running out like sand in an egg timer.

Its even harder when the OH loves it here and really doesn't want to go home (UK) whilst I would fly back tomorrow on a one way ticket (if only).

Spending all my time and any spare dollars on long hauls to see my family. But it feels like being pulled apart in two opposite directions.......
Its the one area you just cannot plan for & the one area that I am absolutely dreading. As no amount of research will prepare me for how I will feel leaving family behind especially my older kids .
But life is for living and the opportunity to go is there so all I can do is give it a go.

Good luck to you must be terrible to be somewhere you dont want to be. Hope things work out for you

Dewb
Dewb09 is offline  
Old Apr 18th 2010, 8:58 am
  #104  
Forum Regular
 
Him and Me's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: Christchurch NZ.
Posts: 150
Him and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of lightHim and Me is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Homesickness

Hi,

Had a bad phone call from my mother the other day, which mad me feel so guilty for leaving the UK...family problems.....she was crying saying she wishes i was there with her

So just has i was getting over the homesickness business i now have a guilt trip to contend with
Him and Me is offline  
Old Apr 18th 2010, 10:17 am
  #105  
BE Enthusiast
 
MattandJax's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Auckland- Cockle Bay
Posts: 423
MattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to beholdMattandJax is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Homesickness

Originally Posted by Dewb09
Its the one area you just cannot plan for & the one area that I am absolutely dreading. As no amount of research will prepare me for how I will feel leaving family behind especially my older kids .
But life is for living and the opportunity to go is there so all I can do is give it a go.

Good luck to you must be terrible to be somewhere you dont want to be. Hope things work out for you

Dewb
yes me too. im leaving behind older kids! just cant imagine how it will be leaving them on the other side of the world. but will have to take comfort in the fact that they will come out for long holidays and will regulary Skype...
but you just dont know until you try it how you will cope!

best wishes to you Frequent Flyer, and your decisions made
Jax
MattandJax is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.