Hazey

I just wanted to say Thank you once again to everyone that has replied to this thread. I was so taken aback about the amount of support that I recieved and can't believe what a nice bunch of people visit this site. I just had a bad week (One of many) and typed into cyberspace and I can't tell you how touched I am that people have taken time out to write. Thank you a million times over Ps Will keep in touch, I think it might keep me sane.

BEVS

That's a perfect phrase. It describes it for me exactly. Nothing rose tinted in there. No selective memory about a place . It's just part of my soul forever and always. It's home.

Same for us in retrospect. The opportunity came and we grabbed it. I don't see much difference between NZ and the UK with 'problems' or even weather for that matter.


I still get bouts of homesickness even after nearly 6 years away. I did think it was linked to being away from my lovely old Dad in his last years but that has proven not to be so, although it was a part of it. It's not that I am unhappy here or anything like that. It's not that we haven't settled into an NZ life here. It is, for me, as Dannigirl wrote.

For my husband it is a case of wherever he lays his hat. As simple as that.

That homesick feeling is rotten. I do hope this bout passes for you soon Hazry.

Stoof

nowt new to add really, ble, dannigirl, bevs and others have said it already…. really feel for you hazey, and others in the same boat… fortunately, family Stoof all feel the same way as each other and we're heading back to rainy, miserable, fantastic cumbria in just a few weeks… hope this bout passes soon for you

Him and Me

i'm feeling homesick after only 2 months....god help me when i reach that 2 yr sickness

BEVS

It comes and it goes. There is no knowing when it will hit you particularly badly or when it may feel all OK.

Him and Me

i think it's it me early on cause its my younger brothers birthday today and i've never missed 1 before

crap coffee

I miss quiet rain & brelly...

I love rain ... & a lovely walk in the pouring rain in the countryside..in England.

We don't need brelly here........I miss holding pretty brelly... and I hate walk into the rain/wind in Welly!!!!!! because it's stormy most of the time when it rains - damn WINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I need is ugly huge waterprrof jacket... that I got from my secondary school days....... Its not romantic at least!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

weejie

You going for a holiday then?

Phyl x

bdclayton

go to Dunedin you can walk in the rain there
( only joking its a lovely place)

pom4gud

Hi,

Just thought I would post a reply to your thread about Homesickness, as you descripe exactly how I am afraid I would feel if we moved to NZ

I have been married to a kiwi for 10 years and we have always lived in the UK. We have spent alot of time in NZ and worked over there for 6 months before we had kids. I love NZ, the scenery is breathtaking and the relaxed feeling it has cant be beaten, but there is something missing for me. I have quite a few kiwi girlfriends who are great, but it' not the same as my friends here.

We have hummed and harred about making the move for the last 5 years, as when we first married we always said we would raise any children in NZ, however 7 years after the kids arrived we are still here, and unlikely to make the move I think, I'm just too scared I will be unhappy. Mainly for reasons that aren't NZ's fault at all - like my mother-in-law, separate hemispheres work well for me there.... and perhaps I am just too much of an uptight Brit, but I dont like the assumption that the (large) family make, that whats yours is ours to share, they just turn up when the want and when the parents-in-law are around I feel like the children arn't mine.

I love a few drinks at the weekend with my friends, but dont like sitting up to 4am until an all the boys have fininshed an entire slap of beer each . I suspect these are faults with me, and if I could lighten up NZ might be the place, as there are no denying it's many plus points. But for now I continue to lurk on this forum trying to get an idea of what it would feel like if we did make the move...

irish_eyes

We did the same thing except we didnt even wait for the container to reach ireland, we had it shipped back mid journey!!

To the OP = keep your eye on this site from time to time and someday something you read will click in your mind and you'll be fine. Its normal what your feeling and it will pass because the answers are always there, you just need to search for them sometimes! Good luck

Hazey

Hi there, Im so pleased that I found this forum, the people on it are great and each has been through a different experience of moving here etc so its great and really helpful to get the bigger picture. I have to admit that my in laws may be one of the reason that I find life abit difficult here, they are lovely, lovely people and I can't emphasis that enough and when I lived in the Uk they were amazing but over here we have a different relationship. I think its because they were and are so excited about having there son and grandchildren home and they tend to take over. Last year it all came to a head and I was feeling very homesick and we clashed big time over childcare rountines etc, my homesickness was brought up has being a stress to them and they did not wish to talk about it. I can understand the reasons behind what they say but the hurt of that comment just won't go away, sometimes alittle support wouldn't go amiss but maybe they are scared of my homesickness because they could lose out (one family does in the end) Now its a taboo subject which doesn't help so here I am but its probably the best thing I could have done because people can take alook from the outside in and make suggestions or comments. Im not staying Im the perfect daughter in law but I think if I had know how it would turn out I would have stayed put. However each family is different and my kids are treated like royality so in that I am happy. I hope this is helpful but remembering this is just my experience.

pom4gud

Hmmmm in-laws, a very tricky subject. Mine too are lovely lovley people, and have at times been incredible. but, as time has gone on the rift has widened for me. My MIL adores my husband as he is her youngest and my children are little gods to her. To me there are beautiful little devils, I love them, they are great to be with, make me laugh, and need a firm hand from time to time. Manners matter in my house, please and thank you has to be remembered and committments have to be hounered, even if a better offer comes along...

Now my parents-in-law think I have too many rules, am too strict with the children, should let them stay home from school when they are tired, and absolutely dont understand that I like my job, and go out to work 4 days a week, as they think I should stay home with my children. All my husbands sisters and nieces have given up their jobs once babies arrive.

Now, this is DEFINITELY not an NZ only thing, this attitude is common in the UK too, but for me, it is the reason I stay in the UK. I love NZ, I'm just not sure I can share it with my husband's familly, and in fairness, they were there first!

Hazey

Ah yes and thats why me and my in laws agree to disagree, I too have a Mummy's boy but to be honest I have had to stop myself involving him because it can't be nice to be piggy in the middle If you guys have no burning desire to rush out, take more time to consider the pros and cons, I know there are plenty of people on here that can give you guidance. Good luck

pom4gud

taking my time is most definitely the way for us, you never know it may be the right move for us one day