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Homesick - 8 years

Homesick - 8 years

Old Nov 20th 2021, 7:58 am
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Default Homesick - 8 years

I wondered if there were many out here in similar situation - me & my husband came to NZ on a working holiday visa 8 years ago & liked it so much we stayed, achieved residency & now have 2 young kids here.
I’m just finding it a challenge at the moment seeing family & friends growing older & us being so far away, and missing the familiar places I grew up in. My husband has a great job here & our kids love it too, they would never want to leave. I am just torn in half - any one else feel homesick after so many years?
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Old Nov 20th 2021, 7:29 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by UK_NZExpat View Post
I wondered if there were many out here in similar situation - me & my husband came to NZ on a working holiday visa 8 years ago & liked it so much we stayed, achieved residency & now have 2 young kids here.
I’m just finding it a challenge at the moment seeing family & friends growing older & us being so far away, and missing the familiar places I grew up in. My husband has a great job here & our kids love it too, they would never want to leave. I am just torn in half - any one else feel homesick after so many years?
Yep, it's normal.
Been here 13 years now. I absolutely love my life in NZ, but there are things going on back home with my family and children that make me feel like I should be there to be part of it all. I've been home on holiday 4 times in the past 10 years but the reality is, once I'm there, albeit on holiday, I know straight away it's not for me and I don't belong there anymore. I've realized it's a yearning to remain connected to family and nothing to do with "Home" or the UK itself

Last edited by Justcol; Nov 20th 2021 at 7:32 pm.
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Old Nov 20th 2021, 10:34 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

It’s nice to hear there are others who understand - I call my parents once a week and just saying goodbye in a casual conversation with their grandkids (my kids) is such a hard thing to do. We aim to visit every 2 years, but with covid something that just wasn’t possible this year.
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Old Nov 20th 2021, 11:17 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by UK_NZExpat View Post
It’s nice to hear there are others who understand - I call my parents once a week and just saying goodbye in a casual conversation with their grandkids (my kids) is such a hard thing to do. We aim to visit every 2 years, but with covid something that just wasn’t possible this year.
I understand too.I've been on and off incredibly homesick for a good 16+ years.
For JustCol it is about his connection to very close family that he loves dearly. One hopes that for him they will move to NZ.
For me, despite certain of my much loved UK family having left this world in the years I have been in NZ, it remains also about my sense of identity and belonging. I did not realise that NZ was not a good fit for me until I had been here for a while.
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Old Nov 21st 2021, 6:04 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

I’m personally torn in two - one day I love it here, a beautiful country, such friendly people and so on. The next I can’t believe we live the other side of the world and just have that longing for life with friends and family in the familiar city I grew up in. I have a list written down of reasons we choose to live here to remind myself of when I’m struggling.

My parents are the only family I have & have both retired during these last couple of years of covid lockdown. They haven’t yet been to New Zealand, I pray they someday will and will fall in love with it as we did and stay.
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Old Nov 21st 2021, 10:08 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by UK_NZExpat View Post
My parents are the only family I have & have both retired during these last couple of years of covid lockdown. They haven’t yet been to New Zealand, I pray they someday will and will fall in love with it as we did and stay.
Just on this one note and not with any intention to pull you down.

Please do check out and read about the parent visa category which is presently closed and has been for a fair old while now. We have a couple of parents/grandparents on this forum who are already in the pool but have been waiting years.
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Old Nov 21st 2021, 10:36 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by BEVS View Post
Just on this one note and not with any intention to pull you down.

Please do check out and read about the parent visa category which is presently closed and has been for a fair old while now. We have a couple of parents/grandparents on this forum who are already in the pool but have been waiting years.
Friends in England have been waiting for about 8 years to have their NZ parent visa approved, they've all but given up now.
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Old Nov 22nd 2021, 5:08 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Four years into being here, I made the stupid mistake of going back to London for work (only a week). I came back and realised I was severly homesick. It was awful, I wanted to return.

Two years ago, I went back for 9 days for my brothers wedding (mainly to get away from the wife). 6 days too long, I actually couldn't wait to get back here. I was all prepared to face the homesickness again but surprisingly, I was glad to be away from it all. I hate using that dam B word but it was noticeable that it had an affect. Families divided etc.

If Auntie Cindy closed the borders permanently till Covid was eliminated for good, I would have sold our place and gone back. I'm fortunate I can work wherever I want now with the company I work for. Thankfully she doesn't listen to the "experts" that much anymore and isn't closing us.
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Old Nov 22nd 2021, 6:17 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Friends in England have been waiting for about 8 years to have their NZ parent visa approved, they've all but given up now.
We had our Parent visa approved in 2016 just before they closed applications - we were so lucky after we had waited for our daughters to have 4 yrs residency after her initial working visa for 18 months
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Old Nov 23rd 2021, 8:08 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by Esme61 View Post
We had our Parent visa approved in 2016 just before they closed applications - we were so lucky after we had waited for our daughters to have 4 yrs residency after her initial working visa for 18 months
Nice to hear a good news story Esme, I hope you're loving your life in NZ
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Old Nov 23rd 2021, 11:54 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by BEVS View Post
I understand too.I've been on and off incredibly homesick for a good 16+ years.
For JustCol it is about his connection to very close family that he loves dearly. One hopes that for him they will move to NZ.
For me, despite certain of my much loved UK family having left this world in the years I have been in NZ, it remains also about my sense of identity and belonging. I did not realise that NZ was not a good fit for me until I had been here for a while.
Somehow I thought you were well into NZ identity now. Certainly identifies can ebb and flow.
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Old Nov 23rd 2021, 11:58 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by Tom H View Post
Four years into being here, I made the stupid mistake of going back to London for work (only a week). I came back and realised I was severly homesick. It was awful, I wanted to return.

Two years ago, I went back for 9 days for my brothers wedding (mainly to get away from the wife). 6 days too long, I actually couldn't wait to get back here. I was all prepared to face the homesickness again but surprisingly, I was glad to be away from it all. I hate using that dam B word but it was noticeable that it had an affect. Families divided etc.

If Auntie Cindy closed the borders permanently till Covid was eliminated for good, I would have sold our place and gone back. I'm fortunate I can work wherever I want now with the company I work for. Thankfully she doesn't listen to the "experts" that much anymore and isn't closing us.
I couldn't understand which country you were homesick about. Also, what's the B word (Britain, Brexit) ?
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Old Nov 23rd 2021, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by UK_NZExpat View Post
I wondered if there were many out here in similar situation - me & my husband came to NZ on a working holiday visa 8 years ago & liked it so much we stayed, achieved residency & now have 2 young kids here.
I’m just finding it a challenge at the moment seeing family & friends growing older & us being so far away, and missing the familiar places I grew up in. My husband has a great job here & our kids love it too, they would never want to leave. I am just torn in half - any one else feel homesick after so many years?
It's tough if you have mixed or varying feelings. Time does not necessarily make such feelings go away unfortunately. If your kids are young, they will adapt to a move quickly, but it may be that you don't want them to miss out on the good life that they are having in NZ.
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Old Nov 23rd 2021, 7:56 pm
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

One thing to consider at the moment is the enormous amount of stress around that is affecting us all due to covid. It has made our overseas families feel even further away and unreachable. We've had to sit and watch helplessly as it swept through the UK, crossing our fingers that everyone was ok. Some will have lost loved ones, but all of us have been touched by the pressure of lockdowns, vaccines and global unrest. If anyone was already feeling a little unsure about NZ or their place in the world, the past 2 years will not have helped. In times of trouble it's natural to want to head for the safety of home. I'm not saying anything will get easier now some restrictions are being lifted and if you feel the UK is a better option for you right now, then that's an option that has to be seriously considered. Some people can live their whole lives in one place, my brother has always lived happily in the same 1 square mile of Manchester, others can't. There's no right or wrong. We get one life and we are fools if we don't spend it doing the things and being in the places that make us happy. Good luck for the future, whatever you decide

Last edited by Justcol; Nov 23rd 2021 at 8:11 pm.
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Old Nov 24th 2021, 3:20 am
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Default Re: Homesick - 8 years

Originally Posted by Shard View Post
Somehow I thought you were well into NZ identity now.
Why?

Certainly identifies can ebb and flow.
------it remains also about my sense of identity & belonging. I did not realise that NZ was not a good fit for me until I had been here for a while.



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