Homesick

Old Dec 10th 2007, 6:42 pm
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Default Homesick

We have been here for 4 months now and although we are really enjoying the "lifestyle" I still cant seem to shake the homesickness. I am a "stay at home mum" and my husband seems to be married to his job!
does anyone have any ideas?
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 6:43 pm
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Walls Family
We have been here for 4 months now and although we are really enjoying the "lifestyle" I still cant seem to shake the homesickness. I am a "stay at home mum" and my husband seems to be married to his job!
does anyone have any ideas?
where are you?
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 6:45 pm
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Maz1
where are you?
Murrays Bay, North shore.
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 6:50 pm
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Walls Family
Murrays Bay, North shore.
I'm in Christchurch, your bond to meet people on this site. There all a lovely bunch. Chin up and I'm sure someone will get in touch for a meet up. Good luck
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 7:28 pm
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Maz1
I'm in Christchurch, your bond to meet people on this site. There all a lovely bunch. Chin up and I'm sure someone will get in touch for a meet up. Good luck
Thanks, I hope so too. Were here on a 2 year visa, with the option to stay if it works out. We are renting our house out in the U.k, and are renting here. I almost feel that its worse this way as i can never settle, i just keep thinking that i can go home. I know thats not the right way to go, and really want it to work as i know its better here for the kids, but i just cant shake the "pineing" feeling for my friends i left behind! Have spoken to quite a few ex pats, and they tell me it can take a while.. like years!!!
Would really appreaciate some helpfull advice.
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 8:13 pm
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Walls Family
Thanks, I hope so too. Were here on a 2 year visa, with the option to stay if it works out. We are renting our house out in the U.k, and are renting here. I almost feel that its worse this way as i can never settle, i just keep thinking that i can go home. I know thats not the right way to go, and really want it to work as i know its better here for the kids, but i just cant shake the "pineing" feeling for my friends i left behind! Have spoken to quite a few ex pats, and they tell me it can take a while.. like years!!!
Would really appreaciate some helpfull advice.
What age are your kids?? at school or pre school age?? We have one of each and the best way i have met people is through Playcentre for pre schoolers, its great. Also getting involed at school, going in to help out, its where to meet other mums.
We decided to sell up in the UK for that very reason - that we maybe wouldn't settle as we would know we had an escape back.
Been here since Oct 06 and love it has been even better since we got our own home and emptied the container - for the forst 9mths we were in furnished rented and that was harder.
We are also in a very small town (1500 people) so everyone is very friendly and want to know all about you.
Hope it helps.
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 8:35 pm
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Smile Re: Homesick

Hi there have you managed to get involved in any groups with your children? How old are they? My daughter in law in Napier took me to my grandsons "music group" hes only 6months old lol but most of that group were newly arrived girls from the UK and they all meet outside of that group for coffee every week.

As i dont know how old your children are its a it hard to try and help but I assume they are not at school, so aybe playcentre or something along those lines put an add up somewhere asking for other mums to contact you regarding starting some sort of a walking group wth your children tagging along. It does become very hard if your partner is quite involved in his work and that only adds to your feeling of isolation more. (a lot of supermarkets have notice boards if you want to put a notice up and also local playcentre prob puts out a newsletter that you could maybe put an add in to start a coffee group)

This homesickness thing is hard I know i have been in NZ for 31yrs and am still homesick BUT have suffered varying levels of it. When the children were young i was kept busy with various things the hardest time for me actually came years later when my boys left home (empty nest syndrome) and then there were family weddings in the UK etc.
Can you maybe get a webcam or something set up so that you can "see" your family more often?
Did you know about the cheap telecom phone calls? Its $6 to talk for up to 2hrs to the UK from 6pm Friday Night to 8am Monday morning give telecom a call and check i have the details right ( i call my family in the UK every week and although my mum tells me the samw thing every week i love "listening to her" There is also another number that you can dial (again check with telecom) this is for shorter phone calls and in the day its 13 cents a min and at night only 8 cents a min (this way you can ring loads of people lol) the number to dial (I am unsure about public holiday and xmas charges though) But the number to dial for the shorter calls is 016144 then as u normally would dial i have talked longer than a few mins on here like an hour lol as i rang my mum and couldnt get her off the phone but it is a great idea......

Sorry i seem to have rattled on for ages here lol i hope some of this helps you i think the secret is to keep busy but its sometimes easier said than done if you are stuck at home aye...........
All the best and Merry Christmas, Cally
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 9:38 pm
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Cool Re: Homesick

Thanks for the advice about the phone charges, i will look into it.
My kids are age 4 and 8. Pre- school & Primary, never any mums arround, seems that they all wait in their cars and the kids just jump in and go!!
Have a great christmas too...
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 12:19 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Hi there

Your situation sounds similiar to mine (so similiar in fact that I wondered if I had written it myself while sleepwalking or something!! )

I'm also a stay at home mum (with 2 at primary and 2 at home) and a hubby who is really a '60 minute dad' during the week mainly cos of time spent commuting...I too have also found it really hard to break into the mums at school set up...

We've been here nearly 9 months and would hardly say we're settled yet (not helped by prospect of possibly moving again soon, down to the S Island)...and I think homesickness really kicks in when the gloss of the honeymoon period wears off...

Anyway we're certainly still here on the shore (Torbay) now - so feel free to drop me a pm if you'd like to meet up for a coffee or something...

All the best

Cat
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 12:29 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Sorry to hear you feel homesick.... been through that and still have bouts of homesickness even after 2 and a half years.

When we first moved here I took my LO to the park and just asked another mum what Playgroups etc there were. I tried PlayCentre but didnt like that .... I went to PlayGroup and loved it straight away.... my son is 4 now and has his last ever Playgroup this friday as hes moving to morning Kindy next month. I have made some good friends through Playgroup.... in fact I'm now on the committee and help to run it. I have an 11 month old and she loves it too.

I know what you mean about the other mums though.... I met loads of English mums who chatted non-stop and we are friends but now their LO's have moved up to mornings and its Kiwi mums there now and they hardly talk to me.... they seem to mostly just drop and run too!

There seem to be loads of people from here living up at North Shore, I'm a bit too way out... hopefully you will get to meet up with some nice people soon and make some good friends. Good Luck anyway.

....and what is it with 4 year olds? I've never really had problems with my DS but now hes 4 and all he seems to say is "NO"..... arghhhhhhh!!!! Hes at Kindy now and I'm sitting here having a cuppa and chilling out (DD is napping).... hes driving me insane at the moment! Never had the terrible 2's or 3's with him......
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 2:05 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Walls Family
Thanks for the advice about the phone charges, i will look into it.
My kids are age 4 and 8. Pre- school & Primary, never any mums arround, seems that they all wait in their cars and the kids just jump in and go!!
Have a great christmas too...
Hi

I have been here for 7 weeks now and i know what you mean, i am at Hobsonville, not sure where you are will have a look on the map, i have an 8 and 4 year old. It will get better i am sure especially with christmas around the corner

Annbeex
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 5:01 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by johnnos
Hi there

Your situation sounds similiar to mine (so similiar in fact that I wondered if I had written it myself while sleepwalking or something!! )

I'm also a stay at home mum (with 2 at primary and 2 at home) and a hubby who is really a '60 minute dad' during the week mainly cos of time spent commuting...I too have also found it really hard to break into the mums at school set up...

We've been here nearly 9 months and would hardly say we're settled yet (not helped by prospect of possibly moving again soon, down to the S Island)...and I think homesickness really kicks in when the gloss of the honeymoon period wears off...

Anyway we're certainly still here on the shore (Torbay) now - so feel free to drop me a pm if you'd like to meet up for a coffee or something...

All the best

Cat
Hi Johnnos, sorry to be a bit thick, but still learning website jargon!! what do you mean by "drop me a PM"!!!!!???
Would really like to meet up sometime, we lived in Torbay for the first 6 weeks and really liked it there.
Would love to hear from you again, Gill..
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 5:22 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by SarahB
Sorry to hear you feel homesick.... been through that and still have bouts of homesickness even after 2 and a half years.

When we first moved here I took my LO to the park and just asked another mum what Playgroups etc there were. I tried PlayCentre but didnt like that .... I went to PlayGroup and loved it straight away.... my son is 4 now and has his last ever Playgroup this friday as hes moving to morning Kindy next month. I have made some good friends through Playgroup.... in fact I'm now on the committee and help to run it. I have an 11 month old and she loves it too.

I know what you mean about the other mums though.... I met loads of English mums who chatted non-stop and we are friends but now their LO's have moved up to mornings and its Kiwi mums there now and they hardly talk to me.... they seem to mostly just drop and run too!

There seem to be loads of people from here living up at North Shore, I'm a bit too way out... hopefully you will get to meet up with some nice people soon and make some good friends. Good Luck anyway.

....and what is it with 4 year olds? I've never really had problems with my DS but now hes 4 and all he seems to say is "NO"..... arghhhhhhh!!!! Hes at Kindy now and I'm sitting here having a cuppa and chilling out (DD is napping).... hes driving me insane at the moment! Never had the terrible 2's or 3's with him......
Hi SarahB, thanks for your reply, glad its not just me that noticed "drop and Run"!! was starting to get a bit paranoid!
Glad to hear you were able to have a well deserved rest though, good on yah!!
Gill Happy Christmas..
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 5:25 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by annbee
Hi

I have been here for 7 weeks now and i know what you mean, i am at Hobsonville, not sure where you are will have a look on the map, i have an 8 and 4 year old. It will get better i am sure especially with christmas around the corner

Annbeex
Hi Annbee, Thanks for your reply, had a quick look on map think you are west Auckland.
How are you settling in you didnt say? Hope all is good for you. Weather could be better though! stay in touch.
Gill..
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 6:05 am
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Default Re: Homesick

Originally Posted by Walls Family
Hi Annbee, Thanks for your reply, had a quick look on map think you are west Auckland.
How are you settling in you didnt say? Hope all is good for you. Weather could be better though! stay in touch.
Gill..
Hi Gill

Yeh settling in ok, house needed a bit of work and still does. Looking on the map you are near brown bay which is 20mins from us. Girls are settling in, Lucy goes to school and Polly goes to Kindy 3 afternoons a week. She starts school in April. We love the places that we have already visited and can see why people move over, only thing is Husbands wages are a bit low, so having to budget but thats the only sacrafice. So if you fancy meeting for a coffee, just give me a shout, pm if you have figured it out

Annbeexx
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