Homesick!
Oct 7th 2007, 7:08 am
#76
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 107
Re: Homesick!
Must admit I have made quite a few contacts through the local running club I joined and having kids has helped with their clubs too - the trouble is everyones too busy running the kids about to have time to socialise and the weather is so hit and miss for bbqs at the moment. The other problem is the kids in NZ have grown up together since Kindy (or playschool) and the mothers already have their social clicks too so I know what you mean. We took the kids into Wellington today and they had a go on the indoor climbing wall at FergsKayaks if anyone wanted something to do on a wet afternoon - recommend it. Oh well the weather's got to cheer up soon.
Oct 7th 2007, 1:33 pm
#77
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Location: SE Asia
Posts: 108
Re: Homesick!
Well we've been here 7 months now - and the worst time still seems to be at the weekends when we used to visit parents. I have just been offered a job so maybe it might be the turning point and I might start settling down - and the sun's quite nice too when it comes out. The kids seem happy as long as we're happy - they fit in where ever they are. Skype has been good for speaking to my Mum (when Dad turns the computer on - Mums useless) and my sister - and even my 80yr old Grandad!
I think in time things will get better but everyones' different.
I think in time things will get better but everyones' different.
and the skype delay it can be tricky sometimes. Hopefully you'll really enjoy your new job, and it'll be the beginning of a 'social circle' that is all about you. (Not your OH's job or the children) You only need to click with one person to make a massive difference. What ever you decide long term will be right for you, but good on you for trying new and different things
Keep us posted, it would be good to hear how you get on.
Oct 15th 2007, 9:45 pm
#78
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Homesick!
Aw, virtual hugs to you Annie. I was here nearly 18 months when it hit me and it's horrible I know. It's like getting the 'flu I think - your immune system is low so you catch the virus. You're a bit lonely anyway so the homesickness has somewhere to live. Only being busy and having fun will alleviate it, I believe. You're not too far away from Auckland, you're more than welcome to meet up with a couple of us from here who go for a drink together on the Shore - I'm sure they won't mind my saying that -
There will be loads of people on here who will be able to relate to how you're feeling and offer more avenues of help.
- There will be loads of people on here who will be able to relate to how you're feeling and offer more avenues of help.
Oct 15th 2007, 10:17 pm
#79
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Cockle Bay, NEW ZEALAND
Posts: 1,007
Re: Homesick!
Hi, I am also feeling homesick, been here just over 3 months and it has kicked in bad today, I Have kids 2 girls, one is 14 and she is having a bad time settling, crying and screaming one day, and the next ok, so when shes unhappy Im unhappy, and I dont work at the moment although I am going on a computer course next week and looking into voluntary work, I feel like billy no mates at the moment, I wish I could just meet someone once a week for a coffee and chat, anyway how are you today?
at one point started pricing flights home as i thought it would never change....but gradually she began to accept things....we have told her that we will be going back home at some point,possibly 2009...she still gets her bad moments,she has a good cry then goes shopping and feels better,
its a hard age for them to settle,and you can't settle till they do...
but when she started going into school and being happy it was like a massive weight being lifted off my shoulders...
i meet up every thursday with group of ex pats,off this forum,lovely crowd..and we go power walking sometimes during week,that has made a huge difference....
i'm just sorry we are not in your area to meet up with you,i'm sure someone in your area will be in touch soon.....i also joined a gymn on monday,its a womens gymn....its called configure...might be a good way to meet some other people .....
your daughter probably won't settle till she has accepted her new life here...she obviously just hasn't reached that point yet,but trust me she will and probably quite soon given the time you have been here....fingers crossed....jacky
Oct 15th 2007, 11:36 pm
#80
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Homesick!
hi jacky here....you sound like me about 6 weeks ago,my daughter was a nightmare and it was putting massive strain on garry and i,
at one point started pricing flights home as i thought it would never change....but gradually she began to accept things....we have told her that we will be going back home at some point,possibly 2009...she still gets her bad moments,she has a good cry then goes shopping and feels better,
its a hard age for them to settle,and you can't settle till they do...
but when she started going into school and being happy it was like a massive weight being lifted off my shoulders...
i meet up every thursday with group of ex pats,off this forum,lovely crowd..and we go power walking sometimes during week,that has made a huge difference....
i'm just sorry we are not in your area to meet up with you,i'm sure someone in your area will be in touch soon.....i also joined a gymn on monday,its a womens gymn....its called configure...might be a good way to meet some other people .....
your daughter probably won't settle till she has accepted her new life here...she obviously just hasn't reached that point yet,but trust me she will and probably quite soon given the time you have been here....fingers crossed....jacky
at one point started pricing flights home as i thought it would never change....but gradually she began to accept things....we have told her that we will be going back home at some point,possibly 2009...she still gets her bad moments,she has a good cry then goes shopping and feels better,
its a hard age for them to settle,and you can't settle till they do...
but when she started going into school and being happy it was like a massive weight being lifted off my shoulders...
i meet up every thursday with group of ex pats,off this forum,lovely crowd..and we go power walking sometimes during week,that has made a huge difference....
i'm just sorry we are not in your area to meet up with you,i'm sure someone in your area will be in touch soon.....i also joined a gymn on monday,its a womens gymn....its called configure...might be a good way to meet some other people .....
your daughter probably won't settle till she has accepted her new life here...she obviously just hasn't reached that point yet,but trust me she will and probably quite soon given the time you have been here....fingers crossed....jacky
Shes only been in the school for a couple of weeks, because we had to wait until we moved into the zoned area, I just keep talking to her and listening to her, she goes up and down, on the other hand my husband and my youngest daughter of 11 loves it.
She keeps in touch with her friends home and they are saying they miss her and it doesnt help when people at her school ask her why shes moved here its boring!!! Grrrrr!! and also the school long skirt uniform doesnt work, she is just focused on how great England was, but she forgets why we came here and she was quite happy to come. I wish I was in your area dont know of any expats or any groups here in Wanganui.
Oct 16th 2007, 12:08 am
#81
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Cockle Bay, NEW ZEALAND
Posts: 1,007
Re: Homesick!
Thanks Jacky
Shes only been in the school for a couple of weeks, because we had to wait until we moved into the zoned area, I just keep talking to her and listening to her, she goes up and down, on the other hand my husband and my youngest daughter of 11 loves it.
She keeps in touch with her friends home and they are saying they miss her and it doesnt help when people at her school ask her why shes moved here its boring!!! Grrrrr!! and also the school long skirt uniform doesnt work, she is just focused on how great England was, but she forgets why we came here and she was quite happy to come. I wish I was in your area dont know of any expats or any groups here in Wanganui.
Shes only been in the school for a couple of weeks, because we had to wait until we moved into the zoned area, I just keep talking to her and listening to her, she goes up and down, on the other hand my husband and my youngest daughter of 11 loves it.
She keeps in touch with her friends home and they are saying they miss her and it doesnt help when people at her school ask her why shes moved here its boring!!! Grrrrr!! and also the school long skirt uniform doesnt work, she is just focused on how great England was, but she forgets why we came here and she was quite happy to come. I wish I was in your area dont know of any expats or any groups here in Wanganui.
wouldn't stop her speaking to them,but shes just broke away herself
don't even get me started on the uniform.....at the start there was no way she was wearing that uniform,and the shoes....hah...
once we eventually got her into school she realised everyone was the same....no fashion parades here at school,which is definitely a positive
you will look back on this and smile in a few weeks,trust me,we have all been there.....
Oct 16th 2007, 1:24 am
#82
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144
Re: Homesick!
I have to admit that i STILL suffer with it sometimes and i've been here 2 years now!! I think it's mostly friends and family I miss more than anything else and whilst the summer weather helps cheer me up, I'm not looking forward to Christmas this year! 
Oct 16th 2007, 2:44 am
#83
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Cockle Bay, NEW ZEALAND
Posts: 1,007
Re: Homesick!
have you found it easy to make friends out here................jacky
Oct 16th 2007, 3:34 am
#84
Sporty Midge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Wellington
Posts: 13
Re: Homesick!
Hi Michelle here - I'm not looking forward to Christmas either - my Mum just wants to forget Christmas this year - she has me out here, my brother who live next door to her but who hardly see her and my sister who is expecting another baby in 6 weeks - my brother doesn't speak to her either - he actually ignored her in Tesco (yes lovely Tesco!). So my Mum feels she has 3 separate families - Oh she does have my Dad who is in Thailand playing golf with his buddy at the moment so he's not much help. Most Kiwis go on holiday over the Christmas break which makes it harder for the likes of us expats as we've got nobody to visit. My new job should help keep me occupied and the kids will have to go into a holiday programme.
Who mentioned summer by the way! I've heard it doesn't start until Jan and finishes in March
Fingers crossed we've got someone round for a second viewing on tomorrow - we want to rent for a while and have the pressure of the house off our shoulders so if we say - no that's it we're off - we don't have to wait for the house to sell.
My kids are a lot younger than yours 11 and 7 so they settled in really well although my 11 yr old really wants to know what we're planning as she starts Intermediate in February -
I have managed to make a few friends through the running club and also the kids swimming club - people seem friendly in Wellington - not sure about the rest of NZ.
I am worse when I am on my own and not busy - went for a run today in a gale force wind/rain and was looking at the countryside and thinking was it all worth it without my Mum about? Not sure I can really answer that - I seem to have a better relationship with my sister too over the internet but I am missing my niece (14mths) growing up - although I see/hear her on skype too. I had a conference call with my Granddad and Uncle (not spoken to the uncle in 14 yrs). Computers are amazing but I think you can be addicted and may not help you to let go.
Not sure if I've helped but you do need to keep busy I think.
ps I miss my central heating - got to go and light a fire.
Who mentioned summer by the way! I've heard it doesn't start until Jan and finishes in March
Fingers crossed we've got someone round for a second viewing on tomorrow - we want to rent for a while and have the pressure of the house off our shoulders so if we say - no that's it we're off - we don't have to wait for the house to sell.
My kids are a lot younger than yours 11 and 7 so they settled in really well although my 11 yr old really wants to know what we're planning as she starts Intermediate in February -
I have managed to make a few friends through the running club and also the kids swimming club - people seem friendly in Wellington - not sure about the rest of NZ.
I am worse when I am on my own and not busy - went for a run today in a gale force wind/rain and was looking at the countryside and thinking was it all worth it without my Mum about? Not sure I can really answer that - I seem to have a better relationship with my sister too over the internet but I am missing my niece (14mths) growing up - although I see/hear her on skype too. I had a conference call with my Granddad and Uncle (not spoken to the uncle in 14 yrs). Computers are amazing but I think you can be addicted and may not help you to let go.
Not sure if I've helped but you do need to keep busy I think.
ps I miss my central heating - got to go and light a fire.
Last edited by Midge71; Oct 16th 2007 at 3:40 am.
Oct 16th 2007, 3:43 am
#85
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 107
Re: Homesick!
Hi Michelle here - I'm not looking forward to Christmas either - my Mum just wants to forget Christmas this year - she has me out here, my brother who live next door to her but who hardly see her and my sister who is expecting another baby in 6 weeks - my brother doesn't speak to her either - he actually ignored her in Tesco (yes lovely Tesco!). So my Mum feels she has 3 separate families - Oh she does have my Dad who is in Thailand playing golf with his buddy at the moment so he's not much help. Most Kiwis go on holiday over the Christmas break which makes it harder for the likes of us expats as we've got nobody to visit. My new job should help keep me occupied and the kids will have to go into a holiday programme.
Who mentioned summer by the way! I've heard it doesn't start until Jan and finishes in March
Fingers crossed we've got someone round for a second viewing on tomorrow - we want to rent for a while and have the pressure of the house off our shoulders so if we say - no that's it we're off - we don't have to wait for the house to sell.
My kids are a lot younger than yours 11 and 7 so they settled in really well although my 11 yr old really wants to know what we're planning as she starts Intermediate in February -
I have managed to make a few friends through the running club and also the kids swimming club - people seem friendly in Wellington - not sure about the rest of NZ.
I am worse when I am on my own and not busy - went for a run today in a gale force wind/rain and was looking at the countryside and thinking was it all worth it without my Mum about? Not sure I can really answer that - I seem to have a better relationship with my sister too over the internet but I am missing my niece (14mths) growing up - although I see/hear her on skype too. I had a conference call with my Granddad and Uncle (not spoken to the uncle in 14 yrs). Computers are amazing but I think you can be addicted and may not help you to let go.
Not sure if I've helped but you do need to keep busy I think.
Who mentioned summer by the way! I've heard it doesn't start until Jan and finishes in March
Fingers crossed we've got someone round for a second viewing on tomorrow - we want to rent for a while and have the pressure of the house off our shoulders so if we say - no that's it we're off - we don't have to wait for the house to sell.
My kids are a lot younger than yours 11 and 7 so they settled in really well although my 11 yr old really wants to know what we're planning as she starts Intermediate in February -
I have managed to make a few friends through the running club and also the kids swimming club - people seem friendly in Wellington - not sure about the rest of NZ.
I am worse when I am on my own and not busy - went for a run today in a gale force wind/rain and was looking at the countryside and thinking was it all worth it without my Mum about? Not sure I can really answer that - I seem to have a better relationship with my sister too over the internet but I am missing my niece (14mths) growing up - although I see/hear her on skype too. I had a conference call with my Granddad and Uncle (not spoken to the uncle in 14 yrs). Computers are amazing but I think you can be addicted and may not help you to let go.
Not sure if I've helped but you do need to keep busy I think.
Oct 16th 2007, 9:04 pm
#86
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Homesick!
Hi, I feel a bit better today my daughter is a bit happier today, but why are you not looking forward ro christmas??
Oct 26th 2007, 1:15 am
#87
Sporty Midge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Wellington
Posts: 13
Re: Homesick!
I'm having a bad week - house is now sold and we have to find somewhere to live before 14th December - I've started a new job and want to give it my best shot - we're now thinking of staying a couple of years at least and then reviewing but by then my daughter will be 13! Help - not sure if we're ever going to settle. Husband doesn't want to rent as we would never settle and couldn't do anything to the house - parents just want us to be happy and have both said to do what we want - one day I think yes I want to stay - the next its - I want to go back.
Husband doesn't want to rent as we would never settle and couldn't do anything to the house - parents just want us to be happy and have both said to do what we want - one day I think yes I want to stay - the next its - I want to go back.
Oct 28th 2007, 3:53 am
#88
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 41
Re: Homesick!
Sorry to be nosy Midge, but do you think you commited to mortgage too soon and will you lose money on the house when you sell- just wondering from point of view of our own situation, but if it's too personal I apologise in advance
Oct 28th 2007, 6:27 pm
#89
Sporty Midge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Wellington
Posts: 13
Re: Homesick!
Well the trouble was we got here when house prices were going up - there was nothing to rent in the area we wanted to be in and a private house sale came up. I was extremely un-happy in the motel we were in - apart from the high cost - so we took the house when we had the chance - problem was we bought when it was nice and warm and sunny - houses soon get cold and damp in the winter when you're used to a warm house. So to answer your question - yes we should have rented but I think we would have been back to the UK a lot quicker! Oh well one of life's little tests I suppose. It's only money!
Oct 28th 2007, 11:41 pm
#90
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 41
Re: Homesick!
I know how you felt abot getting into a house. Although we actually rented for six months in Karori- a really nice looking character house with no less than 4 heat pumps which did'nr make a blind bit of difference cos the house lacked insulation! So we bought at the top of the market and love the house but its tough going on Kiwi wages. I really miss the expendible income we had in the UK and sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. I know we would go back to similar in the UK because houses have shot up there in the year we have been here. To be honest I don't know where we would go if we went back. So for us we will sit out our two years we promised ourselves before we came out and see then. Hope all goes well for you and all the best for any hard decisions
