nero

I am home sick at the moment. Just want to see 'all the old familar places' as the song goes. What are other peoples experiences of going home for a visit? Have you been disappointed?

My OH isn't home sick at all and is worried I might jet off, or if we go back to the UK I might not want to come back to NZ. How have others coped with this?

We have been here about 3 months.

lizard

Sorry to hear about your homesickness. My lady suffers from it all the time ( I do too, but not as bad) It can come in waves. I find it a similar feeling to packing in the fags.
Everyone is different. It is getting easier for me but not for her.
We have come all this way for our dream, got it too, but its not the same without family and friends. So after a lot of soul searching we are heading back home. It just breaks my heart to see her upset all the time.
I hope things ease off for you. If you do go back at least you have had an adventure. Goodluck to you.

Am Loolah

I have also heard that homesickness does tend to hit around the 3 month mark - so you are not alone and there should be lots of people on here who have been through the same feelings who hopefully can offer some advice.

Hope you feel better soon.

CAN2NZ

This is the hardest part of the move. We arrived the day before you last year. We have four kids, one of which we had to send back to Canada. I miss my mom, though we talk every Sunday. We take lots of photos fo the kids and make movies of them set to music. It takes a lot of time but it helps me feel that the family still knows us. There is not cure, especially on the holidays. We have no one to have over and no one has invited us out to see them. We are about 12 or 15 years away from when we might reasonably start thinking that one of the kids would get married. I think that we have about that much time to when we have started to expand our own family to have the feeling of being a part of an extended family. We do go to a church and like the people we see there, but everyone is used to us and may not think that we could be lonely or want to see some other people. So, to let you know, I like living here. My kids really are having a good time and I love to see them happy. They miss grandma too, but you know, they are thriving and we are having a good time. Our house is under construction and we will be able to sink down some roots. I don't think there is any magic bullet to over come home sickness. I think that it comes with the territory. I will say, that life is so short and precious that it is not worth being unhappy. If you can't over come it, go home. It is ok, there is not failure or anything to regret. Just live your life in a way that is fulfiling and makes you happy.

luvwelly

Based on my experience when first expatriated in an EU country (so much easier to return) I would say it's best not to go back too soon...3 months is probably too soon for this great distance...there is indeed a real danger you will not want to return because you don't feel at all settled in the first place. Summer is on the way....that's got to brighten things up a bit.

I had a friend who visited UK at the first halfterm i.e. before she felt settled and it made it harder for her, not easier......I waited over 6 months and it meant I could enjoy the UK but feel like I was 'returning to my home' and 'not to a foreign country' once the break was over.

Here I plan to leave it at least a year before visiting UK but this could change if sth happens back home...elderly parents etc.

By leaving it a bit longer, I think its likely you will have a more balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of the two lifestyles rather than just thinking everything in UK is bigger and rosier. Who doesn't miss Tescos and M&S and friends and relatives? Remember you could miss the friends and relatives if they lived a distance away in the UK. As another poster said 3months is a common time for homesickness to kick in (part of culture shock stages maybe)...indulge it for a while maybe...associate with Brits, watch UK tv programmes, read the BBC news website, watch UK films maybe. Hasn't hit me yet at all but I think it's because I was already expatriated before I came here.
Good luck - hope you feel better soon.

Woodlea

Erm, I don't.

Who wants Tesco tasteless pale tomatoes flown in from god knows where? Everything wrapped in plastic, no shops left cos they can't compete with Tescos. Still got local butcher's (no not halal!) and greengrocers here in Rangiora. Is greengrocer still in the dictionary in Pommieland?

Yes watch UK telly, especially Coro, to remind you of how bloody miserable the place is. Watch the UK news and rejoice that you don't live there anymore. Jeez Gordon bloody Brown is in charge, gimme Blair anytime over him, at least Blair knew he was a slimeball!!

Friends and family is the hard part though I agree.

Batty

It's normal, it's natural, it's to be expected. That doesn't make it any easier unfortunately. I have been terribly homesick living in another European country - only 2 hours from 'home' but haven't had it here much at all thank God. As someone else says, it can come in waves. You just miss what you're used to. The longer you're here the more familiar things get. Do you own or are you renting? For me, moving into our own home was a biggie - it really made me feel I was putting down roots.

As someone else has also said, if you do try and you're still unhappy don't ever think it's a failure to go home. I never think of it as going FROM somewhere - rather I'd be going TO somewhere. I've yoyo'd a few times over the years and the funny thing is, once I got back and the initial euphoria wore off, I started wanting to leave again.

Wessa

A fair point, just some of the reasons we are planning to come to NZ. Oh and there are plenty more reasons.
We visited a friend friday just gone, they had been in Dunedin for a year and have come back due to Family loss, but also because the wife missed home. She said the day they was leaving she knew she was doing the wrong thing. It has cost them a fortune. She said what didn't help them was the fact they had rented their house in the uk. They are going back out lockstock in three weeks time. Homesickness is a big problem,so as ive read on here. It seems to be the hardest thing for the ladies. Try to stay, you may regret going home.

love30stm

Ive been the same but feel homesick for familiarity, and family, but I had trouble with my 14 year old settling as well, but it looks like shes getting a bit better now, Ive been here just 3 months, our furniture arrived the weekend and it feels more like home, but I still get that sinking feeling, but am going to stick at this for at least 5 years!!, My husband has a good job We have a great house, lovely neighbourhood, beautiful scenery, dont worry about my kids going out, We initially came for the kids anyway, and if I nz not for us after them well who knows, not back to uk though.

Think its hard when you have no friends and family, I was feeling lonely, but hey tomorrow meeting up with some expat girls I met through here so hopefully talk through experiences have you got kids??


I look on the Daily Mail website that reminds me of one of the reasons I came here, and dont miss chavs ha ha haven't seen one of gangs of hoodies, great

love Bev xx

nero

You are probably right, going back before I have settled would probably be wrong, much to my OHs relief. We dont have any children but we are making friends through a swimming club we have joined.

Plan to go back to the UK in 2009 for a visit but it just seems so far away at this time. We stick with it and as I said it this homesickness comes and goes. I just wish I could get back the high which I had in the first month where I though I could conquer the world :-) and everything was brilliant.

luvwelly

Why not plan to go in 2008 instead? 2009 is indeed a long way off. If you haven't got the expense of kids maybe you can holiday back in Europe every year? Encouraging those close to you to visit you here, could also help as you realise the aspects you really value as you show them round.
It's just that 3m or 6m is a bit too soon if you don't feel settled.

dazal

Personally I think once you have yourselves a good social life, have met some more friends and are getting out and about you wont feel quite so home sick. A lot of homesickness I find is just more to do with the fact that you dont know many people here but once you get a better social life for yourself then missing home isnt such a problem. I'm not saying that you forget the people at home and I think everyone will go through a stage of pining for the folks back home no matter how many years you have been here. But the fact that you have your own life here and friends will make a difference. Thats what I feel anyway. Others may disagree but for me, its all tied up with the people that you know here in NZ. If you dont know anyone, you'll get homesick! Sounds simple I know but thats what I believe.

I also reckon you need to give yourself a good couple of years before going back to the UK for a visit. If your too busy trying to get back to the UK, your not trying to live your life here, if you see what I mean.

Good luck and hope things get better for you.

Claire Hart

Don't give up so soon, try to remember all the things that made you leave in the first place because they are all still here! We are hoping to move to NZ next year and although we will miss family and friends staying here working 7 days a week to survive is not appealing either. It seems as though making a new circle of friends in NZ is the way to go and will help you get through it.

Good Luck you can do it!

kato33

Hiya Claire,

I am only 20 mins down the road from you here in the UK.
Where abouts are you looking to go in NZ?
We fly out in January with the kids in tow and can't bloody wait.

Nici

hjmilligan

four months in and yes i get the homesickness,even more so with christmas fast approaching. We have always spent christmas with family members of 15 or more,so 4 of this year in NZ will be an experience im not looking forward too!
I have good days and bad days,but not that bad that i'm wanting to go home!
My mum coming over in january,so i just focus on that