love30stm

been in Nz since July, I live in Wanganui, does anyone live here who would like to meet up, my 14 year old daughter is having a hard time at school, she cries and wants to go home one day and the next day shes ok, which does not help, my 11 year old daughter loves it so does my husband, I feel lonely can anyone help!!! thanks

karon

awh i think id be home sick too when we do get over to oz but you got a look on the bright side at least your over there in the sun and beautiful landscapes while her in the uk its cold and dark on a morning going to work and even colder and darker coming home .hope u feel better soon

love30stm

Hi thanks, having a bad day, my daughter did not go to school today, wanted to speak to someone

karon

thats okay how long you been over there ? its to be expected to be a little hard for a 14 year old girl i think my daughter might be the same for a while shes 14 in april and my sons 16 :curse::curse

cally49

Hello there i hope you are feeling a bit better i really feel for you.

Maybe you and your daughter could join a club or something, its very hard when you first go somewhere new especially if you have left family behind and teenagers find it quite hard to make new mates but once they do they are away laughing.

I know there is a lot of negative stuff said about bebo but i wonder if maybe with some guidance and monitering from you she could get herself a site going and maybe will get some friends through that, a case of chatting to someone that may lead to them knowing someone in your area if you get what i mean.

I think there is also an area on here where the teenagers can leave messages like we do but its just for teenagers.
I do hope this helps you a bit its hard enough when its just you but when its a child as well its twice as hard. Good luck and keep us posted....Cheers Cally xx

love30stm

Yes thanks, tried all what you said, but she does go on u tube and talk to people (she is mad on rock music) She takes a while to settle and make friends anyway, does not help that people she meets at school say to her why did you come to wanganui its so boring!!! oh well , she did not go to school today, but KI cant keep her off all the time (she was so upset last night) I just worry she may get depressed or shes just being a teenager

love30stm

Hi Im been here since July, and in our house since august

love30stm

Hi, feeling lots better now my daughter has made a friend she likes at school and seems to be settling a bit, our Furniture and stuff arrived from Uk, so it feels more like home now it was like Christmas unwrapping and putting things up ha ha.

Meeting up with some English girls on Tuesday for a coffee, so things hopefully making me feel better, although I wish the weather would get better, but hey cant have everything.

Frenchy

It WILL get better!!! We have been in Blenheim with our 15 year old daughter and 13 year old son since January and I would say things have really only settled with our daughter in the last month. Hang on in there!!!
Does she work? Thing improved when Sam got a little Sunday job. Good luck it really is a huge thing at that age but bear with it
xxx

Amanda Hart

Oh, I wished I lived closer to you, Auckland is a long way off. Do you have any local friends to talk to? We also arrived in July and my son of 11 is just settling in but hasn't made any real good friends as yet, but it is very early days. A colleague of my husbands moved out with a 15 yr old daughter who really struggled to settle especially as they lived in a rural area, but now she's loving it, it just takes time, which is difficult to understand at 14. I don't know if we can give out telephone numbers on this site as I only came on board yesterday, but if we can somehow i'd only be to happy to chat. Take care and stay with it, i'm sure things will get better. Amanda.

jennifer45

Have no worries - you'll do good!
Lots of lovely folk on this forum having gone through/going through the same.

I'm well past my sell by date and all I get from my friends is - oooh I don't know that I could do it at your age- Well- Hell I Can!

If you really start wishing you were back in UK because of- weather-lousy TV (ha-hee-ha)- lousy wages- lousy humour- lousy- taxes- lack of Tescos- the list is endless. Get a friend in Uk to post you back a few reputable newspapers!- It's hard- It's a big move. But the most important people in your life are with you!!
Remember - You're there!- You are very lucky!!

Grab it all- with both hands!
Jennie

steevg

Just thought I'd offer a few words of encouragement!

When we first moved here in 1995 (the first attempt), I remember sitting in our hotel room in the early hours of the morning and thinking "what the hell have we done?". I had a job, but my wife and two girls (both very young at that time), had no friends, no school, no home . . . . and it got worse!

In time we settled and bought a house in Royal Heights in Auckland. All seemed to be well, then in 1997 my wife announced that she really wasn't happy and wanted to go "Back Home". So we sold up and went back to the UK.

6 years passed, and she realised she'd made a terrible mistake . . . . all the reasons for moving from the UK to NZ were still there, we had just forgotten about them! Funny how you only remember the good things when you're away from them eh! Once we'd moved back to NZ we (mainly my wife to be fair) adopted a different attitude. We moved to a place we knew was lovely, as we'd visited the town before - Lake Taupo - We're not and never had been City people, so I have no idea why we stayed in Auckland during our first stay.

Now my wife is working (a must in NZ if you can - for the social aspect if nothing else), and has made many many friends, she's taking part in round the lake relays, cycling, jogging, and general exercise, has more evenings out with the girls than I do with the boys, and my two daughters . . . well the change in the education is incredible. They LOVE it here and are doing sooooooo well! My oldest has just started her final (first year) exams at Canterbury University and is studying for a double degree in Law and . . . . . (something else - great Dad eh!), and LOVES it there - probably in the UK she wouldn't even have been able to get into a Uni, let alone study LAW! And my other daughter has gone from being a "C" grade student in the UK to sitting in the top tier of her year - she wants to become a Vet - once again, we had hopes for her in the UK to become maybe a secretary etc. So we're real pleased to be living here and enjoying all that NZ offers.

What I'm really trying to say is that moving house is difficult enough, but moving house to a new country is extra stressful. Take time to make friends, Kiwi's are great for that, but ensure you make "positive" friends - stay away from the same people you used to stay away from in the UK, and choose your friends the same way you did in the UK, join a club, the gym, find a part-time job etc etc. All these things will help you fit into your new home. Oh and a little word of advice there too - when we moved back to NZ, we made a rule - NO-ONE in our house was ever to call the UK "Home" - whenever we referred to "home" we were talking about where we were living at the time - the UK was simply that - the UK! It gave us a better feeling about our new home, and four years later (I'm very pleased to say) I'm struggling to persuade my wife to take a trip back to the UK to see her parents!

Stick with it kid - the first 3 years are the worst! and remember, it's only EVER a plane ride away!

Keep posting and let us know how it's going!

Have a fab weekend in Paradise!

Best wishes,
Steve

Baron Silas Greenback

What another great post Steve. I am dreading leaving behind my friends, leaving for a year last time was hard enough.

I admire your and your wifes attitude greatly, if ony more people thought like that.

garryhg

hi jacky g here....sorry to here about your daughter....i went through the same thing....we also came here in july,daughter was really unhappy for a few months,we had tears and tantrums daily for about 6 weeks trying to get her settled into school,its a hard age for them to adjust,especially girls...

i think when your children are unhappy,it makes you unhappy,i truly never settled until she did,having said that i still get days when she says she wants to go home....

i like you have been meeting up with ex pats for coffee,and have met a nice group of friends.....its great to have someone who can relate to how you are feeling,and who are either going through the same thing,or have been through it......

i don't know about your daughter,but mine won't go to any clubs,she finds it hard to put herself in these situations,i think at there age they embarrass very easy,and the thought of making a fool of themselves holds them back..
i hope things eas off for you,but i think its something time will help,once your daughter accepts this is where she is living,she will start to move on and embrace kiwi life,mine has eventually...sorry about the long winded speal,but honestly i know exactly how you are feeling,and it does get better,then worse ,then better againgl.....jacky

SarahB

Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your post Steve. Thanks!