Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Jun 11th 2016, 7:45 am
#1
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Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Hi. We moved to Auckland from the uk in August. With us both working full time and 3 kids at school we are struggeling to meet new people and form new friendships. Does anyone have ideas of where to start in the Birkenhead area of the North Shore?
Jun 11th 2016, 8:32 am
#2
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
sports clubs
Jun 11th 2016, 10:21 am
#3
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
try the website Neighbourly or see if there are any FB local pages
Jun 11th 2016, 11:29 am
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Jun 11th 2016, 12:00 pm
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
invite a few workmates round for a bbq
Jun 11th 2016, 4:57 pm
#6
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Download 'ingress' on your phone and join the resistance. Met some cool people playing this game.
Jun 13th 2016, 1:14 am
#7
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Leverage the kids:
Parents of their friends (sleepovers, sharing transport etc)
School Sports teams (sidelines of matches, offer to manage/coach a team)
Leverage work colleagues as Justcol suggests - think of opportunities to generate contacts, turn contacts into meetups and then meetups into friendships.
Parents of their friends (sleepovers, sharing transport etc)
School Sports teams (sidelines of matches, offer to manage/coach a team)
Leverage work colleagues as Justcol suggests - think of opportunities to generate contacts, turn contacts into meetups and then meetups into friendships.
Jun 13th 2016, 4:03 am
#8
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
One thing I will say is that it does take time. We've been here 3.5 years now and I'm only just feeling like we have proper friends. Not acquaintances, colleagues or contacts but actual friends who I feel comfortable with, that I can be myself around without holding back and could call on in a time of need.
What Simonsi has said is totally accurate and that's how it happened for us - first a contact and then go from there
What Simonsi has said is totally accurate and that's how it happened for us - first a contact and then go from there
Jun 13th 2016, 7:26 pm
#9
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Not going to be easy.
In particular with the natives - if a kiwi you're talking to finds out you are a recent migrant they will not take to you - there is still very much an 'us and them' attitude towards migrants. It's like they built this great country and now you're just here to take advantage of it - put up house prices so their kids can't afford to buy a place; take jobs from kiwis, and generally just not appreciate how fantastic they and their homeland is.
Get your kids into every sport and club going. Gradually you'll get to the stage where people will actually talk to you on the sidelines; although even then if there is the opportunity for the parents to just drop the child and leave, only returning to collect later - they will. We found stuff like swimming and surf lifesaving more friendly than the traditional sports like rugger, football, etc.
Scouts and brownies also good for kids and family involvement.
For blokes, you will have to fake an interest in rugby. Otherwise you will struggle for conversation. For ladies, I know there are some 'book clubs' and the like around, but you need to wangle an invite first. Maybe join a gym that does classes like yoga?
If all else fails, you could go to church. Knee benders are quite friendly (sometimes overly so)
Best of luck.
In particular with the natives - if a kiwi you're talking to finds out you are a recent migrant they will not take to you - there is still very much an 'us and them' attitude towards migrants. It's like they built this great country and now you're just here to take advantage of it - put up house prices so their kids can't afford to buy a place; take jobs from kiwis, and generally just not appreciate how fantastic they and their homeland is.
Get your kids into every sport and club going. Gradually you'll get to the stage where people will actually talk to you on the sidelines; although even then if there is the opportunity for the parents to just drop the child and leave, only returning to collect later - they will. We found stuff like swimming and surf lifesaving more friendly than the traditional sports like rugger, football, etc.
Scouts and brownies also good for kids and family involvement.
For blokes, you will have to fake an interest in rugby. Otherwise you will struggle for conversation. For ladies, I know there are some 'book clubs' and the like around, but you need to wangle an invite first. Maybe join a gym that does classes like yoga?
If all else fails, you could go to church. Knee benders are quite friendly (sometimes overly so)
Best of luck.
Last edited by bearskin; Jun 13th 2016 at 7:29 pm. Reason: forgot to add something
Jun 13th 2016, 7:38 pm
#10
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Very strange as I, and wife, have found the complete opposite 
Must be that people are picking up the wrong messages, or people in Chch are different.....
Don't know where my NZ friends are from as I see no reason to ask, they are simply friends.
Must be that people are picking up the wrong messages, or people in Chch are different.....Don't know where my NZ friends are from as I see no reason to ask, they are simply friends.
Jun 13th 2016, 9:18 pm
#11
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Yeah this sounds more like my experience than bearskins to be honest. Suspect making new friends anywhere en mass as you need to when migrating is difficult with many variables...
Jun 13th 2016, 9:38 pm
#12
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
I don't think some sporting venues are a good place to make friends. A proud and defensive parent watching little Jimmy in mortal combat at a mini rugby/football match may not be too receptive to idle chat suspecting every other person to be the owner of one of the opposition thugs out to do Jimmy some harm......
Jun 13th 2016, 11:57 pm
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Not going to be easy.
In particular with the natives - if a kiwi you're talking to finds out you are a recent migrant they will not take to you - there is still very much an 'us and them' attitude towards migrants. It's like they built this great country and now you're just here to take advantage of it - put up house prices so their kids can't afford to buy a place; take jobs from kiwis, and generally just not appreciate how fantastic they and their homeland is.
Best of luck.
In particular with the natives - if a kiwi you're talking to finds out you are a recent migrant they will not take to you - there is still very much an 'us and them' attitude towards migrants. It's like they built this great country and now you're just here to take advantage of it - put up house prices so their kids can't afford to buy a place; take jobs from kiwis, and generally just not appreciate how fantastic they and their homeland is.
Best of luck.
If it benefits them to know you then, they'll be interested in you. Let's say you are a manager at work or already popular in your neighbourhood or shared interest group. Or your family have lived there for at least four generations back and own a well established business.
Other than that, forget it.
New Zealanders are conceited to the point of narcissistic.
Laid back and friendly. Yeah right, more like cold and cliquey. It's all about the pecking order. It's all about the pack mentality and your place in the pack and who is deferred to as 'top dog.'
Don't be surprised if you get a very stern look of, 'I don't know you do I ?' If you so much as make eye contact with one of them.
Worse still, they will just look at the floor rather than so much as make eye contact with you. I find them to be rude to the point of ignorant.
Last edited by Snap Shot; Jun 14th 2016 at 12:07 am. Reason: wanted to alter the formatting
Jun 14th 2016, 12:06 am
#14
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
Have PM'd you, not sure if you need to make a few more posts before you can receive/reply??
Jun 14th 2016, 12:19 am
#15
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re: Help Billy no - mates :) - Birkenhead . North Shore. Auckland
I agree, and it never ends.
If it benefits them to know you then, they'll be interested in you. Let's say you are a manager at work or already popular in your neighbourhood or shared interest group. Or your family have lived there for at least four generations back and own a well established business.
Other than that, forget it.
New Zealanders are conceited to the point of narcissistic.
Laid back and friendly. Yeah right, more like cold and cliquey. It's all about the pecking order. It's all about the pack mentality and your place in the pack and who is deferred to as 'top dog.'
Don't be surprised if you get a very stern look of, 'I don't know you do I ?' If you so much as make eye contact with one of them.
Worse still, they will just look at the floor rather than so much as make eye contact with you. I find them to be rude to the point of ignorant.
If it benefits them to know you then, they'll be interested in you. Let's say you are a manager at work or already popular in your neighbourhood or shared interest group. Or your family have lived there for at least four generations back and own a well established business.
Other than that, forget it.
New Zealanders are conceited to the point of narcissistic.
Laid back and friendly. Yeah right, more like cold and cliquey. It's all about the pecking order. It's all about the pack mentality and your place in the pack and who is deferred to as 'top dog.'
Don't be surprised if you get a very stern look of, 'I don't know you do I ?' If you so much as make eye contact with one of them.
Worse still, they will just look at the floor rather than so much as make eye contact with you. I find them to be rude to the point of ignorant.
