Help & Advice

Old Jan 15th 2019, 2:50 am
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Default Help & Advice

Hi ex-pats, you've probably heard this before but here goes! My wife and I are nurses with two you g children. She'd always said no to living abroad, bit after Brexit was voted for she said she wanted to do it. We researched and found we qualified best for New Zealand and that there were good jobs for us. Unfortunately, she changed her mind in the autumn, saying she refused to do it. This was heartbreaking to me, particularly given the shit show with Brexit unfolding and the damage it's causing and will cause. Does anyone have any advice on how I might convince her? This is most likely a lost cause bit I can't bear to give up hope! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Old Jan 15th 2019, 4:50 am
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Bring her and the kids over for a holiday maybe immigration is a hard road and if both parties arent 100% behind it then theres no point
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Old Jan 15th 2019, 6:13 pm
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ok so we have heard why you want to come over, Have you actually done any research in to living here, conditions of working in Health Care here?, Junior Dr;s on strike atm because of bad working conditions

What are hers for wanting to stay?
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Old Jan 15th 2019, 6:40 pm
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Default re: Help & Advice

Originally Posted by MrsFychan View Post
ok so we have heard why you want to come over, Have you actually done any research in to living here, conditions of working in Health Care here?, Junior Dr;s on strike atm because of bad working conditions

What are hers for wanting to stay?
Hers are mainly she was born and raised in the town and just doesn't want to do it. Yes I've researched it, things aren't as developed in the mental health field as the UK but the pay increase the nurses won recently was heartening. I didn't know about the junior doctors strike thougj.
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Old Jan 15th 2019, 7:23 pm
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Default Re: Advice

You cant
It is such a monumental shift that talking someone into it who isn't 110% commited will likely end disaterously. You just have to accept and respect her decision.
Come for a holiday and see if she has a change of heart.
There are expats over here who would move back to blighty tomorrow if they could, brexit or no brexit. The grass isn't always greener
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Old Jan 15th 2019, 7:41 pm
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Originally Posted by Nurse1692 View Post
Hi ex-pats, you've probably heard this before but here goes! My wife and I are nurses with two you g children. She'd always said no to living abroad, bit after Brexit was voted for she said she wanted to do it. We researched and found we qualified best for New Zealand and that there were good jobs for us. Unfortunately, she changed her mind in the autumn, saying she refused to do it. This was heartbreaking to me, particularly given the shit show with Brexit unfolding and the damage it's causing and will cause. Does anyone have any advice on how I might convince her? This is most likely a lost cause bit I can't bear to give up hope! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Best bet is for you and your family to come over to NZ for a good month of holiday. You would use that time not just for tourist stuff but for a serious reccy into practical matters.

If she feels differently then fine . If not then maybe accept that. NZ is going anywhere and she may change her mind in time.

Brexit isn't really a good reason to emigrate to the other side of the world, to a place that is not really anything like the UK.

You should both feel the pull to try a new different life. Not a push to escape unless , of course, the place where you come from is so dire that a family life is difficult.

How does your respective extended families feel about you emigrating far away from them. How would your wife be without family and friends?
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Old Jan 16th 2019, 10:06 pm
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Default Re: Help & Advice

Don't come thinking things are any better here.
We have the most ridiculous electoral system where we have unelected MP'S
We have a coalition Govt that is held together by desperation and ego's
We have immigration problems
We have a very high cost of living
We have trade agreements no one wants
We sell everything we can to Chinese companies for little or no profit or reward
We have high crime rates, and one of the highest domestic violence rates in the world

Among other issues
​​
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Old Jan 16th 2019, 11:01 pm
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Default Re: Help & Advice

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
Don't come thinking things are any better here.
We have the most ridiculous electoral system where we have unelected MP'S
We have a coalition Govt that is held together by desperation and ego's
We have immigration problems
We have a very high cost of living
We have trade agreements no one wants
We sell everything we can to Chinese companies for little or no profit or reward
We have high crime rates, and one of the highest domestic violence rates in the world

Among other issues
​​

i would also add this is not the land of milk and honey for us nurses, wages are still low, violence against healthcare wirkers is on the rise.. and some colleagues have experienced racism from patients (and staff) and thats just for starters
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Old Jan 17th 2019, 9:15 am
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Default Re: Help & Advice

Originally Posted by inkedneonurse View Post



i would also add this is not the land of milk and honey for us nurses, wages are still low, violence against healthcare wirkers is on the rise.. and some colleagues have experienced racism from patients (and staff) and thats just for starters
Not that we're trying to put you off.
We're still here so it can't be all bad
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Old Jan 17th 2019, 9:22 am
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Default Re: Help & Advice

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
Not that we're trying to put you off.
We're still here so it can't be all bad
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 5:43 am
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Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
We're still here so it can't be all bad
or we have no money to go anywhere else now
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Old Jan 22nd 2019, 1:29 am
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Default Re: Help & Advice

Hello Nurse1692 - welcome to Britishexpats. While a number of the posts in this thread are pointing out that moving countries can be difficult and costly, it can also be rewarding and satisfying. In my opinion, the biggest issue with moving away is the family left behind, so if your wife is particularly connected to her family then moving is unlikely to be successful. As others have said, both of you have to be fully committed to the move to make it work. Best wishes
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