hesselink

woke up really wanting to go home i hate here in canada wife and kids don't want to go back been here since april crap job crap pay i feel canada is really a backward place

Elaine B.

So sorry to hear how miserable you're feeling, I know there were days when I was in Canada when I just didn't want to get out of bed and all I could think of was ways to get home. I have no real advice just wanted to say a lot of people on here know how you feel.

gotoronto

I feel for you. I never *hated* Canada when I was out there, but I know the feeling about the jobs and feeling that Canada is somewhat backward in many ways. I also know about missing the old life. (I also know I risk being attacked by the Canada-lovers and those who could make it work for them).

The thing is that different people find different places to be suitable to their circumstances. Sadly, Canada did not suit us - and we are happy to have gone home on a whole. Me more than hubby, who is very happy to be back in the UK (but would prefer not to be in London-town but closer to his family).

Of course, given that your family would like to stay and you are in the "minority" with your feelings about wanting to go back, it is really difficult. Can your family live on the wage you are making or is it really hard to make ends meet? Are there any progression chances down the line for you? I suppose there should always be, but believe me, we had to go back as we could not afford living on what we were making and our funds ran out! Do you think if the wage problem was sorted out, you would still "hate" Canada? The whole feeling of Canada being a backwards place - some people actually like the slower pace of things and perhaps you'd learn to love it of the money was right? I know I did not really enjoy it, personally, but I understand why people would... .

Most people say you need to give it at least a year, but I don't necessarily subscribe to that view as it all depends on who you are and your individual circumstances. But given that your family seems to be happy in Canada (though you don't indicate how strong their feelings are about not returning), I suppose you do need to give it more time. But perhaps it is worth sitting down and setting that deadline to review the situation, especially if you can't really see any way out of the pay-situation and need more to survive.

Good luck with whatever you decide... I am not sure how much this will help you, but I hope by now you feel a little less down than when you first posted.

Bevm

What do the wife and kids like? There is plenty to like about Canada, but I'm just wondering what it is, how it's different to where you came from.

And where you are. They presumably haven't experienced winter yet.

Bev

wheatsheaf

Know exactly what you are feeling. Ive been working 20 years in a job that I stumbled upon, and kept because the pay was good. Never really enjoyed being in Canada (or the job) but the Mrs wouldnt think of moving, although I know life is better in the UK. Last week, my employers gave me an 'offer to terminate' which came as a shock, and the wife wants a divorce too!!!. Only consolation is that by sticking out the past 20 years we have no mortgage or debts, all of which is now really irrelevant. I guess the lesson I would have learned earlier if I was clever enough is you aint doin no one any favours by being the martyr and staying because your unhappiness will affect everyone around you.

hesselink

the wife like how the slower pace the fact where we are you don't get neds on the streets she thinks its safer for the kids here i'm not looking forward to the winter as i feel trap right now the fact we are renting and have payed one years rent up front mean i will stick it out for now i just wish this feeling would go away i just don't feel secure here thanks for all the best wishes

Ruby Murray

Bloody ell wheatsheaf....poor you!! So does that mean that you'll sell up and go back home to the UK once everything has been finalised, or do you think you'll stay in Canada?

To the OP....I have days like that. I wake up and I just know I'm going to have a miserable, numb, zombie-faced "I-Want-2-Go-Home" Day and nothing, but nothing, can cheer me up or make me see otherwise. I'm living on the brinks of despair right now.....gave up my loathesome job 2 weeks ago with the AB Government (stupidly, I know) and we are rock-bottom in the bank with a massive mortgage, big truck financing payments, credit card and other bills to pay for!! I've been on anti-D's for 11 months (3 different kinds 'cos they just don't seem to work!) and I see a counsellor twice a month and I STILL feel strongly about leaving all this behind and going back to the UK. My only hope of pulling myself out of this despair is landing a job I've applied for today that is 2 mins away from my house and in the company next door to my hubby's - meaning no more winter driving for me!

If it's any consolation, my hubby quickly realised the company he came out here to work for (first time round) was the pits and he left, we all moved to Ontario for another job - he didn't like that one either, then we spent 8 months in the UK, then came back to Red Deer, AB in 2005....he's been back working for that very first company for 3 years now! He still hates it, but accepts that this is the way things are over here and he's happy to compromise that rather than go back to the UK

hesselink

i feel like a real ****** moaning after reading other peeps probs i feel for for all of yous

Ruby Murray

Hey, don't worry about it...you're not a "c" at all....we all have our own feelings and if you feel very low and homesick, you're entitled, but it's how you deal with it and what you plan to do to help you cope with the homesickness. I've tried all the methods I can think of - I'm still homesick - but I know I can't just up sticks, turn my back on the commitments I've got here and go back home, so I have to find ways of dealing with my feelings. Believe me, it's not easy! Where in Canada are you?

quoll

Hey, no worries, come on here and vent any time you like! I think we all have days like that and I can certainly relate to waking up in the morning and thinking "Oh God, I am still here!" Definitely not a good sign to be wishing your life away.

Australia is just the same for me, boring as b*t sh*t and I dont want to be here. Some days are worse than others and you just have to live with that I guess. I use a lot of CBT strategies like thought stopping, positive self talk etc and sometimes it works but other times it really doesnt even scratch the surface. I think if I were in deep debt then I would be at the wrist slitting stage because IMHO nothing feeds depression, quite like poverty does. If you have some financial security then there are things you can do to help yourself work your way through the bad times but if you dont have the money then it makes things 10 times worse.

Hope you can overcome the blue days!

Fleaflyfloflum

Geez, you aint having much luck are you? Believe me, I know how that feels.

From now on, do what YOU want to do. You have earned that right. Wishing you all the best.

Fleaflyfloflum

Just sent you a message on Facebook Rubes!

Hess, you use this website for whatever purpose suits you, and if it is to moan and offload your worries and fears, go for it hell for leather! I certaily do!! Dont care what others think either!
You do not know any of us, we are not important in your life and probably never will be, but those of us who are understanding people will help and guide you along as and when you need it.

Big hugs x

backagen

Are you sure it's the country you hate, and not just the job? Ask yourself how you would feel if you had a good job in Canada.

If then you would still want to go home, do so.

If not, well perhaps you should give it a bit longer and at least try to get a better job.

wheatsheaf

It is good to know that someone somewhere, even in cyberspace, can empathise. It is an even more difficult situation because you cannot talk to anyone around about it since part of the problem is my discomfort in Canada. Telling anyone this & it just brings on more grief and isolation, so best keep quiet about it and hope for sunnier days.

Doing what I want means leaving the three wonderful kids we have and that would break me I think.

Madmac

Valid point but one that's very difficult to be logical and detached about. I have the same issue in that I don't mind living here at all but I hate my job. I understand they are two separate areas now and only I can do something about it: i.e., get another job. It still clouds your day-to-day interactions and feelings for living here though.

Good luck with it in any case.