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have you left your kids in the uk

have you left your kids in the uk

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Old May 28th 2015, 2:33 am
  #16  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Justcol
she's up for it, if its what I want, although it then puts her in the same situation, as her girls are here.
Unfortunately her lineage is French/Norwegian and goes back to great grandparents.

I guess I know what I need to do, maybe i'm using age as an excuse for not wanting to go through all the upheaval again
Ah, I think her having children changes it entirely. She may say now that she is "up for it" but you know what it feels like when the day comes that your children being half a world away is suddenly not OK.
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Old May 28th 2015, 2:37 am
  #17  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Dorothy
J
How does your wife feel about going? Does she have an alternate way of getting a visa? A British grandparent perhaps?
she's up for it, if its what I want, although it then puts her in the same situation, as her girls are here.
Unfortunately her lineage is French/Norwegian and goes back to great grandparents.

I guess I know what I need to do, this isn't just about my boys, for as long as I can remember I've wanted to
retire to france when the time comes, and unless my wife is a uk citizen, that's never going to happen.
Maybe i'm using age as an excuse for not wanting to go through all the upheaval again.
Maybe I'm to scared to leave the comfortable life I have here for what I know will be a good few years of uncertainty.
Maybe I just need to win Lotto on Saturday !!
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Old May 28th 2015, 7:11 pm
  #18  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Woodlea
So why on earth did you leave her?
Because we spent all our savings staying
Because I was depressed and didn't love it enough
Because my others were failing at school and I wanted better
Because if I didn't go then although we could afford to live there we could not afford to return and see family and they could not come to us.
At that point I needed to see my family again and be home. We waited three years for our daughter to be sorted and left and now pay for her and the bf to come to us.
Its not perfect, we messed up, were dealing with it as best we can!
JustCol...good luck with your decision
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Old May 29th 2015, 7:53 am
  #19  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Spacecake799
Because we spent all our savings staying
Because I was depressed and didn't love it enough
Because my others were failing at school and I wanted better
Because if I didn't go then although we could afford to live there we could not afford to return and see family and they could not come to us.
At that point I needed to see my family again and be home. We waited three years for our daughter to be sorted and left and now pay for her and the bf to come to us.
Its not perfect, we messed up, were dealing with it as best we can!
JustCol...good luck with your decision
What a nightmare for you and your family, I hope it all works out for you all
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Old May 29th 2015, 8:28 pm
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Woodlea
What a nightmare for you and your family, I hope it all works out for you all
Thank you I appreciate that. Hindsight's a wonderful thing.
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Old Jun 1st 2015, 1:57 am
  #21  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Sadly yes... we left our son behind. He was 18, almost 19 and about to start university. He decided to stay to do uni in the UK rather than in NZ. He has an amazing career in the UK and we see as much of him as we can. He has NZ PR, so one day he may end up living here.

He's now 30 years old... and I still miss him every day.

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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 1:17 am
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

My kids are v young. One and three however if they grew up and moved to Uk I'd drop everything and move to be near them
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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 3:10 am
  #23  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by moving2NZ2013
My kids are v young. One and three however if they grew up and moved to Uk I'd drop everything and move to be near them
That's why it's so hard to let go when adult children spread their wings. They will always be your babies, even when they are 42!
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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 4:56 am
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by moving2NZ2013
My kids are v young. One and three however if they grew up and moved to Uk I'd drop everything and move to be near them
What will you do if one moves to UK and one stays in NZ?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but it is a real situation you could find yourself in.
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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 5:19 am
  #25  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Dorothy
What will you do if one moves to UK and one stays in NZ?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but it is a real situation you could find yourself in.
Stay in nz and work my but toff so I can go visit the other one
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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 5:28 am
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by moving2NZ2013
Stay in nz and work my butt off so I can go visit the other one
As JustCol will be doing the best he possibly can.

Speaking as a couple who finance my husband to visit his elderly Mum every 18 months, I can say it is tough going financially and also with regard to time from work.

It would be interesting to know how often those with their kids in other places overseas actually do go to visit.
Once a year?
Once in a couple of years? Also for how long?
Do those kids come to visit NZ regularly?

Pal of ours left her adult son in the UK when they emigrated over ten years ago. He has come over twice & they have been back once that I can remember.
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Old Jun 3rd 2015, 5:52 am
  #27  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

Originally Posted by Dorothy
What will you do if one moves to UK and one stays in NZ?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but it is a real situation you could find yourself in.
I fear this scenario. We have one real home bird and one whose wings are so big and feel so cramped to her that she's at risk of pushing us all out the nest before her time comes ... which is only in 6 months (where's the weeping emoticon?).
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Old Jun 4th 2015, 8:46 am
  #28  
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Default Re: have you left your kids in the uk

BB, I really feel for you.

As an update to this.
I have decided to stay put in NZ.
The boys are adults now and need their own space to grow.
I have said all along that I like living in NZ and at my stage in life
I have decided its simply too much of a risk to find out that maybe
after a year or so I'm not happy and wouldn't be in a position to move again.
So I guess I'll be saving up my holidays and looking into house swap holidays
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