Have we made a mistake.......?
Sep 20th 2009, 7:12 am
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 9
Have we made a mistake.......?
My partner and I arrived in New Zealand 3 weeks ago. The first place we went was Auckland. We arrived at our accomodation around 7am. The street was littered with drunken yobs, all gobbing off at each other! There were prostitutes on the corners. It was vile! We were shocked!........
We flew down to Christchurch after a couple of days and thats where we are at the moment. The first few days were great! We went to Hanmer Springs, its was brilliant, we loved it! We drove to Akaroa, which is beautiful! We met some really lovely kiwis but then we started to meet some real nutters.....
I have never been to a city like Christchurch, I find its more like a small town? I started a job in a bar thinking it would be a great way to get to know the locals. It was. But I didnt like most of what I heard and saw. I have since quit after becoming tired of lewd comments!
Today I was verbally abused in the street by some crazy lady who stupidly assumed my fluffy warm winter coat was animal fur!! She was vile! I was very upset and embarrassed at her unnecessary comments, I thought I might burst into tears! ...... We dont know what to do? My partner is a Plumber and there doesn't seem to be any work for him in this area ( although the way I feel right now I want to leave Christchurch asap!!). We are thinking of heading to Nelson? Does anyone have any suggestions of places in NZ that are looking for Plumbers? Are there friendlier places to live in NZ? Help me please ........
xx
We flew down to Christchurch after a couple of days and thats where we are at the moment. The first few days were great! We went to Hanmer Springs, its was brilliant, we loved it! We drove to Akaroa, which is beautiful! We met some really lovely kiwis but then we started to meet some real nutters.....
I have never been to a city like Christchurch, I find its more like a small town? I started a job in a bar thinking it would be a great way to get to know the locals. It was. But I didnt like most of what I heard and saw. I have since quit after becoming tired of lewd comments!
Today I was verbally abused in the street by some crazy lady who stupidly assumed my fluffy warm winter coat was animal fur!! She was vile! I was very upset and embarrassed at her unnecessary comments, I thought I might burst into tears! ...... We dont know what to do? My partner is a Plumber and there doesn't seem to be any work for him in this area ( although the way I feel right now I want to leave Christchurch asap!!). We are thinking of heading to Nelson? Does anyone have any suggestions of places in NZ that are looking for Plumbers? Are there friendlier places to live in NZ? Help me please ........
xx
Sep 20th 2009, 7:33 am
#2
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Wellington
Posts: 1,208
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
My partner and I arrived in New Zealand 3 weeks ago. The first place we went was Auckland. We arrived at our accomodation around 7am. The street was littered with drunken yobs, all gobbing off at each other! There were prostitutes on the corners. It was vile! We were shocked!........
We flew down to Christchurch after a couple of days and thats where we are at the moment. The first few days were great! We went to Hanmer Springs, its was brilliant, we loved it! We drove to Akaroa, which is beautiful! We met some really lovely kiwis but then we started to meet some real nutters.....
I have never been to a city like Christchurch, I find its more like a small town? I started a job in a bar thinking it would be a great way to get to know the locals. It was. But I didnt like most of what I heard and saw. I have since quit after becoming tired of lewd comments!
Today I was verbally abused in the street by some crazy lady who stupidly assumed my fluffy warm winter coat was animal fur!! She was vile! I was very upset and embarrassed at her unnecessary comments, I thought I might burst into tears! ...... We dont know what to do? My partner is a Plumber and there doesn't seem to be any work for him in this area ( although the way I feel right now I want to leave Christchurch asap!!). We are thinking of heading to Nelson? Does anyone have any suggestions of places in NZ that are looking for Plumbers? Are there friendlier places to live in NZ? Help me please ........ xx
We flew down to Christchurch after a couple of days and thats where we are at the moment. The first few days were great! We went to Hanmer Springs, its was brilliant, we loved it! We drove to Akaroa, which is beautiful! We met some really lovely kiwis but then we started to meet some real nutters.....
I have never been to a city like Christchurch, I find its more like a small town? I started a job in a bar thinking it would be a great way to get to know the locals. It was. But I didnt like most of what I heard and saw. I have since quit after becoming tired of lewd comments!
Today I was verbally abused in the street by some crazy lady who stupidly assumed my fluffy warm winter coat was animal fur!! She was vile! I was very upset and embarrassed at her unnecessary comments, I thought I might burst into tears! ...... We dont know what to do? My partner is a Plumber and there doesn't seem to be any work for him in this area ( although the way I feel right now I want to leave Christchurch asap!!). We are thinking of heading to Nelson? Does anyone have any suggestions of places in NZ that are looking for Plumbers? Are there friendlier places to live in NZ? Help me please ........
xxYou could see and experience these issues anywhere in the world to be honest, just seem to be a bit unlucky with a few bad experiences so far, consider staying put for a while you need to get over the culture shock of a new country and being so far from home and try and get some normality into your life, it all becomes easier when you are settled and have some routine back in your life, whatever anyone says it is stressful moving to a new country.
You need to look at the areas in C'church or wherever and find an area that suits your lifestyle. Don't go zipping around the country or you will never settle anywhere.
FWIW I find Auckland a generally depressing place at the best of times
Good luck with everything
Sep 20th 2009, 9:04 am
#3
Live from CHCH...
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Auckland
Posts: 1,258
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Hey!
Auckland aint that bad...
Although it never sleeps from Friday morning to Monday midday... So if you live in the CBD (like we do!) all you get is drunk, prostitutes, pimps, homeless... So if I happen to work on Saturdays or Sundays, I get to walk to & down Queen St with these lovely bunch!
Back to Gemski's issue...
I think you were on a sunny cloud thinking NZ is free of all that makes UK what it is right now... The matter of the fact being, idiots & troubles are everywhere...
Not been here long, not enjoying work that much but loving lifestyle! Maybe you guys should try a different area?
All the best & keep us posted... Don't throw the towel just yet!
Auckland aint that bad...
Although it never sleeps from Friday morning to Monday midday... So if you live in the CBD (like we do!) all you get is drunk, prostitutes, pimps, homeless... So if I happen to work on Saturdays or Sundays, I get to walk to & down Queen St with these lovely bunch!
Back to Gemski's issue...
I think you were on a sunny cloud thinking NZ is free of all that makes UK what it is right now... The matter of the fact being, idiots & troubles are everywhere...
Not been here long, not enjoying work that much but loving lifestyle! Maybe you guys should try a different area?
All the best & keep us posted... Don't throw the towel just yet!
Hey, Welcome to NZ, it's not as bad as you seem to be experiencing so far, honest! It is a different country to the UK and it does take a bit of getting used to, though Kiwi's are generally a friendly bunch, you need to give it some time for you to adjust to everything that is new and different!
You could see and experience these issues anywhere in the world to be honest, just seem to be a bit unlucky with a few bad experiences so far, consider staying put for a while you need to get over the culture shock of a new country and being so far from home and try and get some normality into your life, it all becomes easier when you are settled and have some routine back in your life, whatever anyone says it is stressful moving to a new country.
You need to look at the areas in C'church or wherever and find an area that suits your lifestyle. Don't go zipping around the country or you will never settle anywhere.
FWIW I find Auckland a generally depressing place at the best of times
Good luck with everything
You could see and experience these issues anywhere in the world to be honest, just seem to be a bit unlucky with a few bad experiences so far, consider staying put for a while you need to get over the culture shock of a new country and being so far from home and try and get some normality into your life, it all becomes easier when you are settled and have some routine back in your life, whatever anyone says it is stressful moving to a new country.
You need to look at the areas in C'church or wherever and find an area that suits your lifestyle. Don't go zipping around the country or you will never settle anywhere.
FWIW I find Auckland a generally depressing place at the best of times
Good luck with everything
Sep 20th 2009, 10:59 am
#4
TeamEmbo
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Rangiora
Posts: 1,557
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Not a good start eh? But then you do have to bear in mind that in general Kiwis are open and honest and speak as they find and would probably not have meant the lewd comments to be offensive- they'd have probably expected you to give as good as you got back to them and put them in their place! So don't be afraid to speak your mind. It's mostly harmless banter so I guess get like the locals and toughen up (popular Kiwi saying) 
Give yourself some time to ajust and don't take it all personally. Christchurch has some really lovely suburbs. We live about 25mins drive North of Christchurch. OH currently works in Rolleston (south of Cch) and it only takes him 40 minutes to get there, so if the CBD isn't for you, the commute into town isn't too much of a drag from the surrounding more rural places.
Give yourself some time to ajust and don't take it all personally. Christchurch has some really lovely suburbs. We live about 25mins drive North of Christchurch. OH currently works in Rolleston (south of Cch) and it only takes him 40 minutes to get there, so if the CBD isn't for you, the commute into town isn't too much of a drag from the surrounding more rural places.
Sep 20th 2009, 11:04 am
#5
TeamEmbo
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Rangiora
Posts: 1,557
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Oh, and btw, swearing is commonplace in NZ. It is generally not meant offensively, its is just part of the language, on the street, in shops, in schools (teaching staff), on TV, radio, etc.
Sep 20th 2009, 12:51 pm
#6
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 269
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
How about getting together with other expats in your area? Others have gone through a lot of what you're feeling and experiencing and can possibly advise you and give you a hand up. Just a thought
Kristina
Kristina
Sep 20th 2009, 1:04 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,285
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Sorry to hear about your bumpy landing. Do you not think though that you'd get a lot of backchat/lewdness if you were doing bar work in any city centre?
Maybe be willing to go wherever a plumbing job presents itself even consider North island and then look for a nearby pleasant suburban area to put down roots in.
Christchurch is the largest city on South Island - as such it probably has the best and worst of NZ to be found within a 20 miles radius. I spent a few days there last Christmas and found it extremely pleasant so I think you are getting a distorted view by working in a bar. I do prefer Wellington though.
As for the lady on the street I understand how upsetting these random comments can be....because we are not in our home country, rather than dismiss it as coming from a nutter..it feels like a personal slight.
Year before last at the Xmas Parade in Wellington CBD, a woman loudly shouted at me because my 6 year old was taking photos with a small camera...she claimed he had no right to include her in shots.(don't think she was in them actually anyway)...amazed....rather than argue I just moved along....ruined my afternoon....but we shouldn't let random nutters do this to us.....I am no doubt older than you...but these people do still get to me as well....maybe you'll have a better week next week.
Maybe be willing to go wherever a plumbing job presents itself even consider North island and then look for a nearby pleasant suburban area to put down roots in.
Christchurch is the largest city on South Island - as such it probably has the best and worst of NZ to be found within a 20 miles radius. I spent a few days there last Christmas and found it extremely pleasant so I think you are getting a distorted view by working in a bar. I do prefer Wellington though.
As for the lady on the street I understand how upsetting these random comments can be....because we are not in our home country, rather than dismiss it as coming from a nutter..it feels like a personal slight.
Year before last at the Xmas Parade in Wellington CBD, a woman loudly shouted at me because my 6 year old was taking photos with a small camera...she claimed he had no right to include her in shots.(don't think she was in them actually anyway)...amazed....rather than argue I just moved along....ruined my afternoon....but we shouldn't let random nutters do this to us.....I am no doubt older than you...but these people do still get to me as well....maybe you'll have a better week next week.
Sep 20th 2009, 6:44 pm
#8
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Sorry to hear about your bumpy landing. Do you not think though that you'd get a lot of backchat/lewdness if you were doing bar work in any city centre?
Maybe be willing to go wherever a plumbing job presents itself even consider North island and then look for a nearby pleasant suburban area to put down roots in.
Christchurch is the largest city on South Island - as such it probably has the best and worst of NZ to be found within a 20 miles radius. I spent a few days there last Christmas and found it extremely pleasant so I think you are getting a distorted view by working in a bar. I do prefer Wellington though.
As for the lady on the street I understand how upsetting these random comments can be....because we are not in our home country, rather than dismiss it as coming from a nutter..it feels like a personal slight.
Year before last at the Xmas Parade in Wellington CBD, a woman loudly shouted at me because my 6 year old was taking photos with a small camera...she claimed he had no right to include her in shots.(don't think she was in them actually anyway)...amazed....rather than argue I just moved along....ruined my afternoon....but we shouldn't let random nutters do this to us.....I am no doubt older than you...but these people do still get to me as well....maybe you'll have a better week next week.
Maybe be willing to go wherever a plumbing job presents itself even consider North island and then look for a nearby pleasant suburban area to put down roots in.
Christchurch is the largest city on South Island - as such it probably has the best and worst of NZ to be found within a 20 miles radius. I spent a few days there last Christmas and found it extremely pleasant so I think you are getting a distorted view by working in a bar. I do prefer Wellington though.
As for the lady on the street I understand how upsetting these random comments can be....because we are not in our home country, rather than dismiss it as coming from a nutter..it feels like a personal slight.
Year before last at the Xmas Parade in Wellington CBD, a woman loudly shouted at me because my 6 year old was taking photos with a small camera...she claimed he had no right to include her in shots.(don't think she was in them actually anyway)...amazed....rather than argue I just moved along....ruined my afternoon....but we shouldn't let random nutters do this to us.....I am no doubt older than you...but these people do still get to me as well....maybe you'll have a better week next week.
Sep 20th 2009, 8:14 pm
#9
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Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 2,077
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Hi sorry your start sucked we have been in ChCh 3 weeks and TBH we love it, the comments in the bar i wouldn,t worry about too much i have noticed that a spade is a spade round here and if some geezer is leering/commenting on your chest it,s probably cos u have a nice rack so just take the compliment call him/her something appropriate and don,t stress over it
We are in ChCh and anything we can do to make your stay a bit smoother or if u just want a freindly ear give us a bell, it would be a shame to give up without giving it a proper go
As for the plumbing i,m in the building game and there isn,t alot of work but it is picking up, maybee he can do something else for a few months if i dont get a job soonish i will jump on a cab any job that pays the bills will do there is definatly no snobery here that i have seen
Neil
We are in ChCh and anything we can do to make your stay a bit smoother or if u just want a freindly ear give us a bell, it would be a shame to give up without giving it a proper go
As for the plumbing i,m in the building game and there isn,t alot of work but it is picking up, maybee he can do something else for a few months if i dont get a job soonish i will jump on a cab any job that pays the bills will do there is definatly no snobery here that i have seen
Neil
Sep 21st 2009, 12:22 am
#11
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 9
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
Thanks everyone for your comments and tips!
I guess we do need to give ourselves time to adjust. We are not gonna jack it in. We have said we are gonna give ourselves a year and see how we feel at the end of that.
Its good to know that you can understand how we are feeling and im not going insane
As I said before we have met some great people already, and yes its true that everywhere in the world you will find abusive nutters, thats life i guess!
I would never abuse someone in the street for any reason, especially not for what they are wearing, so i just find it hard to understand the mentality of someone that does that!? I did take it personally! Im over it now.
Again, its helped coming on here, so thanks a million
I guess we do need to give ourselves time to adjust. We are not gonna jack it in. We have said we are gonna give ourselves a year and see how we feel at the end of that.
Its good to know that you can understand how we are feeling and im not going insane
As I said before we have met some great people already, and yes its true that everywhere in the world you will find abusive nutters, thats life i guess!
I would never abuse someone in the street for any reason, especially not for what they are wearing, so i just find it hard to understand the mentality of someone that does that!? I did take it personally! Im over it now.
Again, its helped coming on here, so thanks a million
Sep 21st 2009, 12:50 am
#12
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 2,077
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
I can't believe I am about to marry someone who uses the phrase
cos u have a nice rack
Jan
cos u have a nice rack
Jan
Sep 21st 2009, 12:51 am
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 2,077
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
U have heard worse
Neil
get on with ur work wench
Neil
get on with ur work wench
Sep 21st 2009, 1:26 am
#14
Sleazy Dippin Doodle
Joined: May 2007
Location: wellington
Posts: 1,363
Re: Have we made a mistake.......?
I would never abuse someone in the street for any reason, especially not for what they are wearing, so i just find it hard to understand the mentality of someone that does that!? I did take it personally! Im over it now
Actually can I comment on that? I think that what happened isn't particularly unusual or exclusive to New Zealand. I completely and utterly agree that it's offensive and horrible. But certain animal rights activists (peta/safe etc) will go absolutely off their head when they see you in fur. Regardless of whether it is real of fake.
I worked with a woman like that. She was really nasty if she saw someone in the street wearing fur...or a fur subsitute. Even fake fur because that "encouraged the fashion". She was a nut. She didn't like fake fur collars on clothes for the same reason.
But she and her ilk weren't just a NZ thing.
fwiw, I think a strongly worded eff off (and no...not the 'eff' but the full word) works well in this instance.
Actually can I comment on that? I think that what happened isn't particularly unusual or exclusive to New Zealand. I completely and utterly agree that it's offensive and horrible. But certain animal rights activists (peta/safe etc) will go absolutely off their head when they see you in fur. Regardless of whether it is real of fake.
I worked with a woman like that. She was really nasty if she saw someone in the street wearing fur...or a fur subsitute. Even fake fur because that "encouraged the fashion". She was a nut. She didn't like fake fur collars on clothes for the same reason.
But she and her ilk weren't just a NZ thing.
fwiw, I think a strongly worded eff off (and no...not the 'eff' but the full word) works well in this instance.
