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Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Old Jul 9th 2008, 11:58 am
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Question Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Hi
I would love to hear from anyone who has gone to NZ not liked it and retuned to the UK and regretted it and returned to NZ.
My hubby and kids absolutely loved NZ, I could not settle, yes I am a woman lol! and we returned home (to me it is home) in 2007. Hubby and kids hate it here and long to be back in NZ. Hubby has a job offer and permanent residency visa but i am so reluctant to return, knowing how I felt first time. We spend nearly 2 years over there.
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Old Jul 9th 2008, 9:51 pm
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Many people have done this - hence the phrase "ping pong pom".

My parents are classic examples - moved to NZ in 1974, back to the UK in 1986, returned to NZ in 1995 and still say that they'd like to be in the UK. They want the NZ lifestyle with the benefits that the UK offers (relatives, shopping, travel).
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Old Jul 9th 2008, 9:55 pm
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

[QUOTE=Heavenlyscent;6552123]
, yes I am a woman lol! . Yes ! I know what you mean!!
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Old Jul 9th 2008, 10:19 pm
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Is the job offer in the same location as where you were previously? I only ask because there seems to be vast differences between areas of NZ, like between Auckland and Christchurch, Wellington and Rotorua. Each places seems to offer something different and has its own 'feel' - if you know what I mean! It might be you'd feel more settled this time if the area you move to avoids some of the things you disliked the first time you were here.
But I guess it depends why you were unhappy the first time. I mean, if it wasn't NZ perse, just that you love living in UK and that's home and that's what feels comfortable to you, then it wouldn't matter where you were, you'd still feel uncomfortable and homesick.

What things made you unhappy the first time you were here?
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Old Jul 9th 2008, 11:25 pm
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Originally Posted by Heavenlyscent
Hi
I would love to hear from anyone who has gone to NZ not liked it and retuned to the UK and regretted it and returned to NZ.
My hubby and kids absolutely loved NZ, I could not settle, yes I am a woman lol! and we returned home (to me it is home) in 2007. Hubby and kids hate it here and long to be back in NZ. Hubby has a job offer and permanent residency visa but i am so reluctant to return, knowing how I felt first time. We spend nearly 2 years over there.

This has happened to one of my closest friends. She moved here as a child in the late 80s. Then moved back to the UK then back to NZ. Then back to the UK by 1998. Her older brother never did the final move with the family, although did return to the UK for an OE type situation. He now lives back in NZ and wouldn't go. The younger brother lives in the UK and would like to go back to NZ. My friend is completely torn where she would want to live. She really really misses the positive things about NZ, but really doesn't want to give up the positives of the UK. Oddly enough, the negatives aren't actually keeping her/forcing her in either way. It is the positives that are making her a bit unsettled!

Her parents would like to move back to NZ but her mother is close to her family so it wouldnt happen until the grandparents die methinks.

Personally, I wouldn't be half surprised to see them all move back here. My friends mother has said that if either one of the remaining children moved back then she would seriously consider it. If both were here then she certainly would. And my friend would be happy to move wherever her family is. So, eventually they may. Or they may just stay in the UK. Talk about unsettled.
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Old Jul 10th 2008, 10:43 am
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Originally Posted by Heavenlyscent
Hi
I would love to hear from anyone who has gone to NZ not liked it and retuned to the UK and regretted it and returned to NZ.
My hubby and kids absolutely loved NZ, I could not settle, yes I am a woman lol! and we returned home (to me it is home) in 2007. Hubby and kids hate it here and long to be back in NZ. Hubby has a job offer and permanent residency visa but i am so reluctant to return, knowing how I felt first time. We spend nearly 2 years over there.
The song....'Love me, love my dog' springs to mind and I am not a dog lover....of course you should not go back if you were unhappy the first time.....you hold the moral high ground because you all came from the UK and they knew what they were going back to.....NZ is great for kids...not so good when you need employment.....your kids would ping pong back again in their OE.

I am enjoying it here but if I am honest I am glad I am not here forever, it really is a tad too geographically isolated....even Wellington is miles from anywhere else within NZ...you are kind of 'stuck/trapped' here in varying degrees of paradise depending on your personal and financial circumstances.
Put your foot down girl and say NO - life is too short.

Last edited by luvwelly; Jul 10th 2008 at 10:47 am.
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Old Jul 10th 2008, 11:52 am
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Smile Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Originally Posted by TeamEmbo
Is the job offer in the same location as where you were previously? I only ask because there seems to be vast differences between areas of NZ, like between Auckland and Christchurch, Wellington and Rotorua. Each places seems to offer something different and has its own 'feel' - if you know what I mean! It might be you'd feel more settled this time if the area you move to avoids some of the things you disliked the first time you were here.
But I guess it depends why you were unhappy the first time. I mean, if it wasn't NZ perse, just that you love living in UK and that's home and that's what feels comfortable to you, then it wouldn't matter where you were, you'd still feel uncomfortable and homesick.

What things made you unhappy the first time you were here?
I have moved every 2 years since a small child with my father being in the RAF, then i married a squaddie and although he has been out of the Army for nearly 20 years we still move every 2-3yrs it must be in the blood. So moving and living in different countries has never bothered me before but NZ is so isolated and so far from the EU, the wages are not good enough just to jump on a plane. The weather and the laid back lifestyle are wonderful. I suppose I would like all the positives of the UK and the Lifestyle of NZ. I really struggled to live with a basic lifestyle, counting pennies, never done that in my life. Since being home, (just 1 year) we have been to Poland for a weekend, holiday in Turkey, Norfolk and Germany. I tried to ignore all my feelings about NZ first time, when my 15yr old daughter was sexually assaulted and it went to court and he was jailed I just wanted to get the hell away and never return, hubby says it could have happened anywhere in the world, which is true but it hapened in NZ. His job is in the same city we were in before, although they can put him anywhere in NZ but he knows the people he used to work with and the kids know schools and friends
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Old Jul 10th 2008, 12:32 pm
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Default Re: Have u returned to the UK from NZ and Regretted it and gone back

Originally Posted by Heavenlyscent
living in different countries has never bothered me before but NZ is so isolated and so far from the EU, the wages are not good enough just to jump on a plane. .....I tried to ignore all my feelings about NZ first time, when my 15yr old daughter was sexually assaulted and it went to court and he was jailed I just wanted to get the hell away and never return, hubby says it could have happened anywhere in the world, which is true but it hapened in NZ.
Isolation means you need extremely healthy finances - few emigrants have this and those that do, don't have the spare leave so the relative isolation is the reality. You ignore it at your peril. Strange you feel so at home in UK despite the frequent travel as a child.
As we are roaming corporate expats at the moment, I worry my kids will feel they don't really belong anywhere whereas OH and I are firmly emotionally rooted in the UK.

Maybe the acid test is, assuming you'd moved back to NZ, if your OH died tomorrow would you stay in NZ or return to UK? That is a complete no brainer for me and it would be about extended family, life-long friends and a less geographically isolated lifestyle. I would return to UK without a doubt.

What happened to your daughter could happen anywhere obviously but sometimes the 'laidback lifestyle' means we are less on our guard than we would be at home...I don't know. Your point about scrimping and saving being a negative is also extremely relevant for most posters on here...especially those who expect a better quality of life on a 50% salary cut.
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