sparkie down under

I'm not what you'd call a regular here, more a regular dipper, and more likely to dip in when there's bugger all else to do........sorry mods

Now that's its almost summer I've not been in here much, so I've missed the 'drift' of feeling, but having just read some posts it seems that if you have anything bad to say about NZ then certain members are jumping down other certain members throats, (cyber like speaking), at the moment.

Thing is you can almost know which way a post is going by seeing who started it. There are some who have nothing but negativity in their posts and in almost equal amounts there seem to be some who see NZ has heaven on earth.

So my thought for today is perhaps we ought to have a happy and not happy section - that way the Mr Angry among us won't have to read posts/subjects that will get them so angry that they have to fill up the topic with personal attacks

Right, off now to cut the grass and wait to be attacked

Bo-Jangles

Agree wholeheartedly with you, Sparkie. Its the worst I have ever known in a lot of years with so much spite and anger, its very offputting to old and new member alike. Clearly there's a lot of point scoring and egging on going on in the background.

If people do want to take extremist sides then I might suggest:

expatforum.com for the ridiculously happy, where all posts are moderated within an inch of their life and sanitised of any reality and negativity or take it to expatexposed.com which woud be at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Sherlock Holmes

I won't attack you. I agree with you. BUT emotions come into play. If we could remove emotions from the equation, I suspect that far more posts would contain more balance.

If something in your new country is a bit of a let down, if other things in your life are a bit awry, then a small niggle becomes a very big deal.

I don't think anywhere is actual paradise. Some people are happy wherever they live, some will never be happy anywhere.

Time is the great healer in the emigration process, just as it heals in other things in life.

sirplug

Sorry, don't agree. We need the happy clappers as well as the doom merchants. It all helps with the balance of life. Those that are serious about the move south will know which posts apply to them. Equally, those not sure whether emigrating is for them will be put off by the negativity and if they don't come over, then clearly they reached the right decision! Hope that makes sense!?!

Pom_Chch

The thing that frustrates me with the positive/negative posts is how people go about it. It's almost like the people who aren't getting on well in NZ for whatever reason are sat seeking out any little amount of positive info on here and then putting a negative spin on it. There's no need to do that, it's not constructive, then arguments start and then the personal insults fly around.

I've said before I'm not totally happy in the UK, but I do not lurk around the UK forum and post every bit of negative info there is about the UK. To me it's not fair for those who are perhaps nervous about moving back. Also, although I'm not a fan of the UK for various reasons I can still understand why people like living here. The angry people out there don't seem to have that frame of mind. It's "I think NZ is crap, I've had bad experiences, therefore the whole country is crap full stop." Don't get me wrong I've read the negatives about NZ too, but I tend to find the more balanced posts with constructive criticism more helpful. Yes emotions do come into play, good point. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the UK but I still don't go into the UK forum and bitch about it because it will make me (and everyone else!) feel worse.

It's also the people that pop up with snide one liners with no elaboration as to why they've resorted to that conclusion. Lines like "you wont get on well in NZ as an expat, Kiwi's hate them." This I find to be a very damaging statement and there are plenty more along those lines. It's those comments that annoy people and cause arguments.

Anyhoo, must get back to work!!!

waikatoguy

Actually, that's one of the things that concern me. I have some English rellies out in Raglan. They say they have a better quality of life where they are living. So, for them, its a win-win. They believe they have improved their quality of life and the rest of us benefit because they contribute in a positive way to our society, improving, in some small way, the lives of the rest of us too. I honestly wonder whether they would still have come if they had read some of the stuff on here and taken it at face value. Who would want to move to a place with supposedly the most unfriendly people on earth? Sometimes you get the distinct impression that Afghanistan would be a better option. So perhaps they may have missed the opportunity. Although, perhaps they may be still in Britain and be just as happy. Who knows?

So, do those who don't believe NZers are the most unfriendly people on earth (or some adverse statistic or other that is just plain wrong) sit back and say nothing when someone (usually someone not even living here) gleefully posts it? It would sure save a lot of arguments, but it wouldn't do much for NZs reputation, or for the positive psyche of some BE members, by some accounts.

TommyLuck

Waikatoguy;

I've definitely had my eyes opened by this forum, and others, though I only post here.

We're all adults and realise that if there is no balanced argument behind the negative commentary it doesn't really wash.

However, what gets on my, and others nerves is the very same point. Why do people bother coming on here slating various things without any clarification or reasoned argument, time and again? They must be a kick out of it, otherwise there's no reason for it.

It's simply not constructive or useful. But people feel they have to defend their position, quite rightly.

I won't be deterred from my intention to move to NZ despite what anyone says or thinks, I'm quite keen in seeing and deciding for myself and I would like to think that most people would think along the same lines.

I married a Kiwi, so they can't be that bad, though that may say more about her than it does me!

skends

Some people walk around with a big chip on their shoulder all of their lives and think that the world owes them!! Ive seen it loads, but why this is so... i dont know, because many of them have lives and circumstances that many others would give their right arm for!!
I appreciate that we are all different and we all deal with things in our own ways but to constantly whinge makes me wonder why these people cant take a serious look at their lives and do something about it. 'Life' -It dosent come served on a platter, it has to be worked at.. s**t happens, move on!!
Sorry,,,,,

Pom_Chch

My OH's aunt, uncle and cousins are Kiwi's and they have been so good to us. They are open, honest, friendly and overall good people. This is why it frustrates me when people come into forums and say that Kiwi's are unfriendly, racist blah blah blah. In my experience I haven't seen it. All the Kiwi's I've come into contact with have been nothing but polite, chatty and welcoming. I will be the first to defend them against stereotypes and generalisations and personally I think it says more about a person slinging the insults than it does the people they are trying to insult.

scrubbedexpat094

I've been here nearly six years now & have made some great Kiwi friends. It took a little while to get to know them but we now get invited along to all sorts of things with them.

We have recently had new (Kiwi) next-door neighbours & I've tried being friendly but they aren't biting. Some people are friendly, others aren't. Had that in the UK, USA, Australia, Germany, France etc. I think I'll put it down to being human & not a stereotype of a particular country.

As to having a moan, if you were sad enough to go back through all my posts, I bet you will find that my moaning rate goes up in winter & reduces in summer . Cold=, Warm=. I retain the right to moan if I feel like it, you don't have to read it.

However, I am exceedingly bored by those who have nothing good to say about NZ. No country is all good or all bad. I don't mind those who can qualify what they are saying with examples but sweeping statements & personal jibes are pathetic IMHO.

theghostofdustybin

i don't like any of you, expect maybe you or occasionally you. But that's it.

scrubbedexpat094

Fair enough.

love30stm

I'm the same!

love30stm

Yes I'm with you in that one! I've had my moments when I moaned about everything a while back and it made me more of a miserable bugger and bitter, but I got out and made a effort and things are good I'm not saying I love it here but it's ok and I'm good with my little piece of paradise

Constant negatives about where you live does one no good

Pom_Chch