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this forum scares me!!

this forum scares me!!

Old Jun 29th 2011, 3:07 pm
  #1  
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Default this forum scares me!!

Wow!

i thought i would check out a forum to gather information, support, guidance, contacts and general advice, but being on here scares the living daylights out of me that im making one holy mother of a mistake!

im moving to nz in sept for a few years, and will hopefully work in a kiwi secondary school, being a teacher. BUT, every message i read makes me dread whether this is a huge huge mistake. I have been to nz before, but only as a backpacker, and i LOVED it. Is life in the "real" world NZ so totally different to my experience a few years ago, to the point that on here people seem so genuinly unhappy with their lives there? Dont we move to another country because we want something different from home for a while? we dont want to live in England? So why do we compare everything to the UK and the way things are at home? Just because they are different, doesnt mean its worse? Is it really as bad as a huge amount of people are saying? Am i making a mistake? Or are we just being the "whinging poms" we are so famously referred to? Im rather anxious after being on here, maybe i should go!!


please please please give me some positive comments to read. there must be some? (maybe iv just the wrong discussion topics)
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by kerig123 View Post
Wow!

i thought i would check out a forum to gather information, support, guidance, contacts and general advice, but being on here scares the living daylights out of me that im making one holy mother of a mistake!

im moving to nz in sept for a few years, and will hopefully work in a kiwi secondary school, being a teacher. BUT, every message i read makes me dread whether this is a huge huge mistake. I have been to nz before, but only as a backpacker, and i LOVED it. Is life in the "real" world NZ so totally different to my experience a few years ago, to the point that on here people seem so genuinly unhappy with their lives there? Dont we move to another country because we want something different from home for a while? we dont want to live in England? So why do we compare everything to the UK and the way things are at home? Just because they are different, doesnt mean its worse? Is it really as bad as a huge amount of people are saying? Am i making a mistake? Or are we just being the "whinging poms" we are so famously referred to? Im rather anxious after being on here, maybe i should go!!


please please please give me some positive comments to read. there must be some? (maybe iv just the wrong discussion topics)
Here's a comment:

If you're going to move to a country, you do need to be brave. There are no guarantees and yes there are some downsides to living in NZ, just as there are some upsides.

I really don't understand what you want - do you want a guarantee it's all going to work out? Cos no one can provide that for you. You'll just have to come for yourself and see.

I'm saying all this as an expat kiwi not a brit 'who is comparing everything to back home'. There are some 1 million of us overseas. You do the math. I've read this forum for ages and while I do think some comments are whinging, I also think a lot of them are bang-on, and it's too easy for people to ignore them by saying "oh she/he/it is just a whinger". As you don't live here yet, maybe you should be a bit more humble and recognise a lot of these 'negative' posters speak from real experience, experience you haven't had yet.

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Old Jun 29th 2011, 6:28 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

I've had three years solid experience and several short holidays in NZ. I cannot wait to get back there for good next year despite some of the negatives.

Best of luck to you!
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 7:18 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

If you find that posters give "negative" comments as opposed to "reality" then maybe you may be a tad sensitive.
It's a major deal coming all this way particularly with a view to settling.
There are heaps of posts from people who love their lives here & also those who are at a stage of reconsidering.
Try looking for as many as you can & see if there is a balance to work on.
I find the refreshing honesty of those to be the most helpful & TBH very brave.
Some have been slated for just that.
I'm from the stable of loving my life here & my OH wouldn't live anywhere else. We've survived (so far) 2 lots of redundancies during the (depression) recession & changed our careers as a result.
It's all a matter of the individual in the end.
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 7:19 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by kerig123 View Post
Wow!

i thought i would check out a forum to gather information, support, guidance, contacts and general advice, but being on here scares the living daylights out of me that im making one holy mother of a mistake!

im moving to nz in sept for a few years, and will hopefully work in a kiwi secondary school, being a teacher. BUT, every message i read makes me dread whether this is a huge huge mistake. I have been to nz before, but only as a backpacker, and i LOVED it. Is life in the "real" world NZ so totally different to my experience a few years ago, to the point that on here people seem so genuinly unhappy with their lives there? Dont we move to another country because we want something different from home for a while? we dont want to live in England? So why do we compare everything to the UK and the way things are at home? Just because they are different, doesnt mean its worse? Is it really as bad as a huge amount of people are saying? Am i making a mistake? Or are we just being the "whinging poms" we are so famously referred to? Im rather anxious after being on here, maybe i should go!!


please please please give me some positive comments to read. there must be some? (maybe iv just the wrong discussion topics)
IMO it's an amazing place! I really don't understand a lot of the negativity here either, although I have only been here about 9 months. But life is what you make of it, wherever you are - and we're all having a fantastic time. Go for it big time!
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 7:37 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by dave77 View Post
IMO it's an amazing place! I really don't understand a lot of the negativity here either, although I have only been here about 9 months. But life is what you make of it, wherever you are - and we're all having a fantastic time. Go for it big time!
To be fair there are very few poster who come over 'very unhappy' with their NZ lives IMO. Very few indeed. Most are content and the ones that are pissed off and want to return are the ones who have issues surrounding making ends meet. One constant refrain on BE is do your sums. Okay a few miss home but I get the feeling those that leave in the main have found balancing the books the tricky bit. You might like to start a thread, 'Why are you leaving NZ??'
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 7:39 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by Genesis View Post
To be fair there are very few poster who come over 'very unhappy' with their NZ lives IMO. Very few indeed. Most are content and the ones that are pissed off and want to return are the ones who have issues surrounding making ends meet. One constant refrain on BE is do your sums. Okay a few miss home but I get the feeling those that leave in the main have found balancing the books the tricky bit. You might like to start a thread, 'Why are you leaving NZ??'
that's a good idea...but hasn't it been done before or am I missing something
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:11 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Came here in 2004 as a Backpacker, after travelling RTW twice. And have not looked back.

You have travelled as well, which I think is a great foundation to move to another country....you have a much better perspective on the world, than a football shirt wearing ex-pat that has nothing better to do with their time, then to write a daily "negative" post on this forum.

A phrase that sticks in my mind that you will hear on this forum...."NZ is like the UK 20 years ago". Well it's not! It is NOTHING like the UK and people should get their heads around that, before they get on the plane.

So, you will be fine, treat it like travelling and it will be a big adventure. The NZ that you fell in love with is still here!
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:18 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by Catchafire View Post
Came here in 2004 as a Backpacker, after travelling RTW twice. And have not looked back.

You have travelled as well, which I think is a great foundation to move to another country....you have a much better perspective on the world, than a football shirt wearing ex-pat that has nothing better to do with their time, then to write a daily "negative" post on this forum.

A phrase that sticks in my mind that you will hear on this forum...."NZ is like the UK 20 years ago". Well it's not! It is NOTHING like the UK and people should get their heads around that, before they get on the plane.

So, you will be fine, treat it like travelling and it will be a big adventure. The NZ that you fell in love with is still here!
Do you think?

I think travelling a lot (in my case, Middle East, Europe, Canada & Oz) has only made it harder for me to move back. THough I am homesick right now! I need to go back so I can remember why I left
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:43 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by Kiwilass View Post
Do you think?

I think travelling a lot (in my case, Middle East, Europe, Canada & Oz) has only made it harder for me to move back. THough I am homesick right now! I need to go back so I can remember why I left
Yup I think so. I have lived in Sweden, Thailand and the US. I am in no hurry to go back to the UK.

Look at your own example, just substitute NZ for the UK.
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:44 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by Kiwilass View Post
Here's a comment:

If you're going to move to a country, you do need to be brave. There are no guarantees and yes there are some downsides to living in NZ, just as there are some upsides.

I really don't understand what you want - do you want a guarantee it's all going to work out? Cos no one can provide that for you. You'll just have to come for yourself and see.

I'm saying all this as an expat kiwi not a brit 'who is comparing everything to back home'. There are some 1 million of us overseas. You do the math. I've read this forum for ages and while I do think some comments are whinging, I also think a lot of them are bang-on, and it's too easy for people to ignore them by saying "oh she/he/it is just a whinger". As you don't live here yet, maybe you should be a bit more humble and recognise a lot of these 'negative' posters speak from real experience, experience you haven't had yet.
To be fair though Kiwilass most young people don't leave NZ purely for the fact that it's a sh*t country, far from it. The reality is that we are in a very unique position, we are an isolated country, and due to that isolation not many families travel much farther than say Australia, Fiji etc which hardly gives you a world view. We know the wages are low versus the cost of living. We are a small, some say insular, parochial country. Young people in NZ have always gone on their overseas experience, just as the Brits do their gap year. This should be celebrated, we want our young to experience the world, gain experience in other countries, speak different languages, mix with lots of different cultures....but we also want them to come home and make our country strong. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are leaving due to negatives in their birth country, it means we want to experience the world. Some want to earn money, some want to travel, some want to gain work experience.....yaddah yaddah, yaddah.

Some people might leave because they dislike NZ - fair enough, but that is some, not all. It did not even cross my mind when I left NZ to compare it to another country. At the ripe old age of 26 I threw caution to the wind, jumped on a plane and came to the UK. I really had no idea what to expect, I certainly did not leave NZ for any negative reasons, I left because my fantastic boss in NZ (a kiwi) had worked in the UK for 20 years and thought working in the UK would give me some great experiences (which it has). It was Auckland or London and I chose London!!!!

I did not expect to be here for 10 years And if I had known how difficult the decision to go back was/is it may have made me stay at home in the first place

I agree with one of your points though, there are no guarantees in this blimmin moving around the world malarkey!!!
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:46 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Try to remember that people are sharing experiences that are unique to them, and that this forum is often the only way that grumpy or 'negative' feelings can be expressed with a degree of 'safety' (trust me, when in NZ try complaining about an aspect of NZ life to kiwis and you're going to end up being isolated and cold shouldered pretty quickly - much the same as would happen to an immigrant in the UK).

I agree that recently there does seem to have been a larger number of 'what I dislike about NZ' type threads and posts, but we are now into winter and SAD effects the southern hemisphere as well as the northern

As someone who is guilty of sometimes jumping on the 'negative' band wagon when the mood takes me, I'll just state here and now that I don't hate all aspects of NZ life, and I'm not unhappy with NZ or my life here..... just that it's not the home in my heart, and in the 8.5 years that we have lived here I have never, ever stopped missing England, my family, friends, and the unique English way of life. Oh, and incase you've not read where I've said this before - we came to NZ for a one year adventure, just that circumstances have contrived to stop us from returning home

I think that a lot of what has been posted here recently gives a well-rounded viewpoint of ex-pat life in NZ - how you experience it will be down to your own personal situation. I'd never tell anyone not to move here, but would always stress the need to make sure you have an escape route just in case things don't work out. I sometimes think that if I had known how it was going to be for us, I wouldn't have agreed to come - but then I know that if we hadn't we'd have spent the rest of our lives wondering 'what if' and wishing we had
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 8:48 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

I was an expat living overseas and been back a month now to my home town. Frustrated at how slow moving employers are at the minute as we don't have jobs yetbut also know if I was desperate for work I could be in some tomorrow...

Have to say apart from not being able to sort accomodation/jobs yet I am enjoying being back, the first week was hard but the weather has been kind for winter. If you are prepared to throw yourself into life in NZ and don't over commit yourself financially then you will be fine

Good luck...
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 9:01 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by Catchafire View Post
Yup I think so. I have lived in Sweden, Thailand and the US. I am in no hurry to go back to the UK.

Look at your own example, just substitute NZ for the UK.
oh I see what you're saying, fair point.
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Old Jun 29th 2011, 9:07 pm
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Default Re: this forum scares me!!

Originally Posted by dannigirl View Post
To be fair though Kiwilass most young people don't leave NZ purely for the fact that it's a sh*t country, far from it. The reality is that we are in a very unique position, we are an isolated country, and due to that isolation not many families travel much farther than say Australia, Fiji etc which hardly gives you a world view. We know the wages are low versus the cost of living. We are a small, some say insular, parochial country. Young people in NZ have always gone on their overseas experience, just as the Brits do their gap year. This should be celebrated, we want our young to experience the world, gain experience in other countries, speak different languages, mix with lots of different cultures....but we also want them to come home and make our country strong. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are leaving due to negatives in their birth country, it means we want to experience the world. Some want to earn money, some want to travel, some want to gain work experience.....yaddah yaddah, yaddah.

Some people might leave because they dislike NZ - fair enough, but that is some, not all. It did not even cross my mind when I left NZ to compare it to another country. At the ripe old age of 26 I threw caution to the wind, jumped on a plane and came to the UK. I really had no idea what to expect, I certainly did not leave NZ for any negative reasons, I left because my fantastic boss in NZ (a kiwi) had worked in the UK for 20 years and thought working in the UK would give me some great experiences (which it has). It was Auckland or London and I chose London!!!!

I did not expect to be here for 10 years And if I had known how difficult the decision to go back was/is it may have made me stay at home in the first place

I agree with one of your points though, there are no guarantees in this blimmin moving around the world malarkey!!!
You and I keep butting heads on this. I guess you and I are two classic examples of the kiwi expat: the one who wants to go home/is kiwi to their core, and the one who doesn't really/is unsure.

When I left things were actually going rather well for me in NZ. I was working for a bank, had just been promoted and had been offered training in Hawaii, all paid for by said bank. NOnetheless it was not enough to make me stay because i had been really, really bored for a long time. I wanted to try something new.

On the other hand, my sister has stayed and is not the type to go overseas unless it's for a job/man...if you know what I mean.

I guess some of us just have the need to take risks/have an adventure.

OH and I were talking about it AGAIN the other day. He has said he is willing to move if I really want it, but I am not sure. A lot of the 'negative" (I think realistic) posts here highlight the very reasons why I hesitate. It was never really the country per se I struggled with, but rather the mentality of a lot of people as well as the lack of (relatively speaking) opportunities. I'm just waiting for someone to jump on me for saying that, but it has to be said: in some industries there really aren't a lot of opportunities in NZ, it's just too small a place. I also worry about becoming trapped because I am not a spring chook any more and the lower living standard is a reality. I didn't really 'get' it until I came to North America, but now I do. I certainly don't begrudge anyone moving there or who loves it or whatever, but I do get tired of people trying to shut down those of us who have something to say that's not 100% unicorn & rainbows, or trying to claim that only disatisfied people come on BE, etc. etc. blah blah. You can love a country and still see it's faults. That last comment not directed at anyone in particular!

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