sharkyuk

Hi everyone,

I have now been in New Zealand 4 months and I am still fighting depression after leaving the UK and it has been hard. I knew the things I was letting my self in for and I want to hear from anybody else on how they couped in the first couple of months of being here. Is it one of those things that you just got to go through. I dont know so anybody with any ideas.

Thanks

SarahB

Sorry to hear that you feel like that. Its not nice and yes Ive been there.

I still have my moments now but they are getting less and less.

The one thing thats making me feel more settled is talking to people in the same boat as me. Here in Beachlands theres a thriving British ExPat Community and it works wonders to be able to have a good old moan and get everything off your chest. You can really have a laugh over the odd kiwi things..... moan about the lack of choice in the supermarkets etc.

My passion is horses and I go riding every saturday morning.... its my "me time" and I look forward to it all week. I forget everything and do the thing I love the most.... works wonders for me.

Sorry cant be more helpful.... maybe you are experiencing a bit of culture shock? I certainly did.... things gets better! Good luck.

SarahB

sharkyuk

Well Thanks for that. its just made me laugh I am over in Howick in cockle bay not far away lol

Nice Guy

Without being rude and please do not interpret this response other than the well meaning intention, but if you feel that you are depressed, and I don’t just mean unhappy but really depressed then obviously seek professional help, but also seek to remove the cause of the depression.

If the cause is found to be NZ then you must return to the UK.

I sincerely hope you find an answer and in the next 4 months things improve for your mental health well-being.

Can everyone send some Karma to sharkyuk?

Many thanks

ex geordie

Sorry to hear you feel depressed . are you here alone or with your family? I found the best way to get over feeling like that was to focus on a coming event like family or friends coming from uk to visit or maybe plan a visit back after a certain length of time . It can be hard to cope somedays but you could try taking St Johns Wort as it helps mild depression and can be bought in most supermarkets and health shops. I am sure you will get a lot of replies and I hope you start to feel better soon Linda

Apple12

Be very careful taking St John's wort. http://nccam.nih.gov/health/stjohnswort/
There are major risks in taking this - just because it is "herbal" does not mean that it is harmless...
It interacts with other drugs and the production is not regulated.
My advice, go and have a chat with your doctor.

thebears

Not far from our old home in Bucklands Beach

bramptonbrian

Quite correct Doctor NG. Reactive depression is cured by removing the cause.
Now if you can lie back on the couch and remember how depressed you were in the uk and maybe we can draw a comparison.

woodsey

I'm guessing your not depressed but going through the whole culture shock experience. Culture shock is hard and very real. Theres plenty of literature out there on the web so search and read and you'll appreciate that you're just going through the process of adapting to a totally new life. When we moved we were lucky enough to get cultural training and it was spot on and helped me realise I was not losing my mind or in need of medication. Initially I scoffed at the idea of it but when they showed me the list of emotions that you go through when you take on such a huge move I realised they were right. At only four months in you're over the honeymoon period and the reality of being there is starting to sink in..When you come out the other side depends, but it can take anything up to a year, maybe even longer, go with it, don't fight the emotions you have or it makes it worse...The life of an expat will always include feelings of wondering what it would be like to be back home, once you accept that as part of who you are now, you'll do much better.

newkiwi

good luck and heres me thinking of you...i can relate and i think everyone who has moved countries can...

i dont think there is a one size fits all solution...i see you like diving, Nz is great for that, even in the winter so book a trip to the Poor Nights, living on a liveboard for three days is wonderful.....

We have been here 3 1/2 years and my wife still misses family and friends a lot so what youre going through is very normal..

Not sure if this is going to be of any help, we found the 6 - 12 month period the most difficult, because youre here long enough that the excitement has worne off but not yet long enough that you have made good firends and feel settled..

So dont worry if you feel down, i think its natural....

Joanna1

Hey thats some sound advice being talked about here. We've been here just over 9 months now, and its been a rocky ride, but am defo starting to feel a gradual change. I've lived abroad a fair bit before, but have never made such a permanent move, and its really hard to take it all in at times - can be very overwhelming.
I've found that not trying to force yourself to like certain things or people helps, plus trying to plan things to look forward to - every wknd we try and do something different and outdoorsy, which I've found really helps. Also not comparing Auckland to London has been a major breakthrough! Talking to friends and family at home is great, but I'm selective about who I talk to, and make sure I only choose the ones I can be really honest with and have a good old yarn with, not people who I feel I have to put a brave face onto.
I'm a big believer in you get out of life what you put in, and everyday I remind myself what a great opportunity it is, trying life in a new country - we haven't decided yet if we'll be staying here for the long term (both have PR) but I'm certainly enjoying kiwi life more and more and 'living it' more than I was say 4-8 months in.
Any change in life is hard and its really important to seek help, whether that be from friends or family or your Doctor, or hey, chat about it here! most have felt it to some degree or other I reckon
Jo

Joshlin

difficult to add anything different other than to say that it is most definately natural. We've been here nearly 8 months and in the main we've settled well but there have been times when it's been tough - missing friends, family, things that are familiar, not being able to physically support people at home when things have gone t*ts up for them, not having people that you can easily turn too - however, things that I've found that have helped me:
being honest with myself about how i'm feeling and just allowing it - not trying to justify / get over it etc etc
trying to do something different - after all, that's one of the reasons we came - we've started camping, we've taken drives out to different places, we've just gone for a stomp along the beach - whatever!
getting work and starting to make friends - and it does require effort - people are very welcoming and friendly but they've got their friendships and don't always think about including new people into their social circles.
I would also echo others that if you feel that you are clinically depressed rather than sad / unhappy / generally low then do go and seek advice - you don't need to struggle on without help.
Best wishes to you

Toppa

For many the first few months or so are what's called the "honeymoon" period. for others, culture shock and feeling alienated and a long way from anyone we know or who cares can be hard to deal with. So many things seem unfamiliar. It takes time . A job, making concerted efforts to build a social life do help.

Kiwis are a generally friendly bunch. If things don't improve I would take NG's advice in so far as having a chat with your doctor or other health professionals. Also how about posting your interest on BE (meet ups forum) to get together for a night out with other expats? This could become a regular social event.

Best of luck

RodandEm

kept an eye on this thread as i have suffered with depression since last september (well "officially" shall we say !) and have only come out the other side very recently.

we have been thinking about moving away for quite a while and this year is our first opportunity as emma can quit her job in july.

what some of you have said is eyeopening, but very useful all the same.

thanks

Batty

Hi

This article really helped me in the first couple of months. Once I could put a name on what was wrong with me I felt an awful lot better. Rescue Remedy can be very helpful too to get rid of the stressy feelings. I hope things get better for you.

http://edweb.sdsu.edu/people/CGuanipa/cultshok.htm