Feels Like Living on Two Continents
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 41
Feels Like Living on Two Continents
After five years in NZ and making two trips back to UK each year (to see the family) I have just made a move to come back to UK permanently.
NZ is great and I enjoyed living and working there and made some fabulous friends, but I could never come to terms with the absent family thing. I spent every day of my paid leave, took unpaid leave and saved every dollar to pay for flights to UK over the past five years.
How does everyone else cope with this?
My parents are too old to travel (80s and 90s) and I am an only child so you can see the pressures I have been under for past five years. In addition my children are both working in the UK and not at all interested in using thier leave to come over to NZ (both have been to NZ once).
What do people do when parents get old, if there is no-one to look after them, and you are on the other side of the world? It seems to selfish to me to abandon them. Am I unusual or do others also live in this state of limbo?
Economically right now I would be better off in NZ. In UK I am struggling to find work and to find somewhere to live that I can afford to rent.
It is early days back in UK yet, but I am thinking do I stay here on low wages and live in a spare room or do I move back to NZ where I can easily get work and will have the money for flights a couple of times a year ......... and carry on as per last five years ....... sigh.
I watch that 'Wanted Down Under' programme and it all looks fantastic until they play the videos from family and then it cracks you up emotionally.
NZ is great and I enjoyed living and working there and made some fabulous friends, but I could never come to terms with the absent family thing. I spent every day of my paid leave, took unpaid leave and saved every dollar to pay for flights to UK over the past five years.
How does everyone else cope with this?
My parents are too old to travel (80s and 90s) and I am an only child so you can see the pressures I have been under for past five years. In addition my children are both working in the UK and not at all interested in using thier leave to come over to NZ (both have been to NZ once).
What do people do when parents get old, if there is no-one to look after them, and you are on the other side of the world? It seems to selfish to me to abandon them. Am I unusual or do others also live in this state of limbo?
Economically right now I would be better off in NZ. In UK I am struggling to find work and to find somewhere to live that I can afford to rent.
It is early days back in UK yet, but I am thinking do I stay here on low wages and live in a spare room or do I move back to NZ where I can easily get work and will have the money for flights a couple of times a year ......... and carry on as per last five years ....... sigh.
I watch that 'Wanted Down Under' programme and it all looks fantastic until they play the videos from family and then it cracks you up emotionally.
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 260
Re: Feels Like Living on Two Continents
After five years in NZ and making two trips back to UK each year (to see the family) I have just made a move to come back to UK permanently.
NZ is great and I enjoyed living and working there and made some fabulous friends, but I could never come to terms with the absent family thing. I spent every day of my paid leave, took unpaid leave and saved every dollar to pay for flights to UK over the past five years.
How does everyone else cope with this?
My parents are too old to travel (80s and 90s) and I am an only child so you can see the pressures I have been under for past five years. In addition my children are both working in the UK and not at all interested in using thier leave to come over to NZ (both have been to NZ once).
What do people do when parents get old, if there is no-one to look after them, and you are on the other side of the world? It seems to selfish to me to abandon them. Am I unusual or do others also live in this state of limbo?
Economically right now I would be better off in NZ. In UK I am struggling to find work and to find somewhere to live that I can afford to rent.
It is early days back in UK yet, but I am thinking do I stay here on low wages and live in a spare room or do I move back to NZ where I can easily get work and will have the money for flights a couple of times a year ......... and carry on as per last five years ....... sigh.
I watch that 'Wanted Down Under' programme and it all looks fantastic until they play the videos from family and then it cracks you up emotionally.
NZ is great and I enjoyed living and working there and made some fabulous friends, but I could never come to terms with the absent family thing. I spent every day of my paid leave, took unpaid leave and saved every dollar to pay for flights to UK over the past five years.
How does everyone else cope with this?
My parents are too old to travel (80s and 90s) and I am an only child so you can see the pressures I have been under for past five years. In addition my children are both working in the UK and not at all interested in using thier leave to come over to NZ (both have been to NZ once).
What do people do when parents get old, if there is no-one to look after them, and you are on the other side of the world? It seems to selfish to me to abandon them. Am I unusual or do others also live in this state of limbo?
Economically right now I would be better off in NZ. In UK I am struggling to find work and to find somewhere to live that I can afford to rent.
It is early days back in UK yet, but I am thinking do I stay here on low wages and live in a spare room or do I move back to NZ where I can easily get work and will have the money for flights a couple of times a year ......... and carry on as per last five years ....... sigh.
I watch that 'Wanted Down Under' programme and it all looks fantastic until they play the videos from family and then it cracks you up emotionally.
We (family of 6) were in NZ for only 2 yrs and I could Never get over that feeling of absent family, never being around to help out mt parents in their older years. My husbands parents had already died before we emmigrated so did not share my feelings, but we did come back to the UK, yes it has been a struggle but I feel this is where we as a family are meant to be, but ask me again in a years time as this recession gets worse!! Good Luck with your decision
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: Wanganui, New Zealand
Posts: 240
Re: Feels Like Living on Two Continents
I sympathise with your dilemma but I don't think I'll feel that way. Watch this space Unfortunately, my mum died five years ago. Yes, my Dad is 68 but has his health (presently) and my sister lives 5 miles away from him.
My husband's mother lives in Auckland and is not getting any younger. However, with a lifetime as an only child, only you know how you feel right now.
My husband's mother lives in Auckland and is not getting any younger. However, with a lifetime as an only child, only you know how you feel right now.