Family
Oct 27th 2019, 8:15 am
#1
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Family
Well, after nearly 8 years the inevitable has happened.
FIL had a massive stroke 24hrs ago (at home in the UK) just before taking his morning shower.
Pretty much nothing more can be done now apart from making sure he's as comfortable as he can be until his time comes. Mrs is devastated. Doesnt wanna go as shes so scared seeing her Dad at deaths door. She's flying to Manchester tomorrow arvo on the Qatar Auckland - Doha - Manchester route.
Its at times like this when you feel so helpless and useless. Major downside of living 18500kms away. I'm staying in NZ with the kids.
Don't sweat the small stuff guys and gals. Life and happiness is precious. Kia Kaha.
FIL had a massive stroke 24hrs ago (at home in the UK) just before taking his morning shower.
Pretty much nothing more can be done now apart from making sure he's as comfortable as he can be until his time comes. Mrs is devastated. Doesnt wanna go as shes so scared seeing her Dad at deaths door. She's flying to Manchester tomorrow arvo on the Qatar Auckland - Doha - Manchester route.
Its at times like this when you feel so helpless and useless. Major downside of living 18500kms away. I'm staying in NZ with the kids.
Don't sweat the small stuff guys and gals. Life and happiness is precious. Kia Kaha.
Oct 27th 2019, 9:15 am
#2
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Location: Wellington - I miss Castles, the NHS & English school system
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Re: Family
sorry to hear this, hopefully your wifes family will be able to give her some solace and I'm sure in the long term she will appreciate the fact she went.
Oct 27th 2019, 10:50 am
#3
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Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,533
Re: Family
Well, after nearly 8 years the inevitable has happened.
FIL had a massive stroke 24hrs ago (at home in the UK) just before taking his morning shower.
Pretty much nothing more can be done now apart from making sure he's as comfortable as he can be until his time comes. Mrs is devastated. Doesnt wanna go as shes so scared seeing her Dad at deaths door. She's flying to Manchester tomorrow arvo on the Qatar Auckland - Doha - Manchester route.
Its at times like this when you feel so helpless and useless. Major downside of living 18500kms away. I'm staying in NZ with the kids.
Don't sweat the small stuff guys and gals. Life and happiness is precious. Kia Kaha.
FIL had a massive stroke 24hrs ago (at home in the UK) just before taking his morning shower.
Pretty much nothing more can be done now apart from making sure he's as comfortable as he can be until his time comes. Mrs is devastated. Doesnt wanna go as shes so scared seeing her Dad at deaths door. She's flying to Manchester tomorrow arvo on the Qatar Auckland - Doha - Manchester route.
Its at times like this when you feel so helpless and useless. Major downside of living 18500kms away. I'm staying in NZ with the kids.
Don't sweat the small stuff guys and gals. Life and happiness is precious. Kia Kaha.
Despite best efforts, I missed the passing of my mum, dad and step dad. There was nothing I could do to get there. Despite the crap circumstances, your wife will be glad she made the trip. Best wishes that things go as smoothly as possible.
Last edited by Justcol; Oct 27th 2019 at 10:52 am.
Oct 27th 2019, 8:52 pm
#4
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Re: Family
Sorry to hear Escape! It's a shit thing, really shit. I hope you and family are holding up OK xx
Oct 27th 2019, 11:50 pm
#5
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Re: Family
So very sorry to hear this Escapedtonz. Sadly a burden that many of us share being so far away. You're in my thoughts. Xx
Oct 28th 2019, 9:36 am
#6
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Re: Family
Thanks so much for the support.
We've never had to go through anything like this before and it is probably the worst thing we've ever experienced and wouldn't wish it on our worst enemy. Obviously knew it was going to happen at some point but man it's a shocker when it does. This is the first of our 6 parents (my mum & dad divorced and both remarried) to have suddenly fallen ill without the possibility to recover so starts the inevitable ball rolling so to speak and they're between 75-82 years old.
The Mrs is en route to Doha. Lands in about 11 hours. She has a mountain to climb and so frightened, more so for her Mum who's been looked after by dad for the past 57 years and doesn't even know bank accounts, who they pay bills to, credit cards, insurance etc. Can't even turn the computer on. Can drive but hasn't for at least 10 / 15 years.
As far as I know he's hanging on in there so really hope she gets there in time.
Cheers.
We've never had to go through anything like this before and it is probably the worst thing we've ever experienced and wouldn't wish it on our worst enemy. Obviously knew it was going to happen at some point but man it's a shocker when it does. This is the first of our 6 parents (my mum & dad divorced and both remarried) to have suddenly fallen ill without the possibility to recover so starts the inevitable ball rolling so to speak and they're between 75-82 years old.
The Mrs is en route to Doha. Lands in about 11 hours. She has a mountain to climb and so frightened, more so for her Mum who's been looked after by dad for the past 57 years and doesn't even know bank accounts, who they pay bills to, credit cards, insurance etc. Can't even turn the computer on. Can drive but hasn't for at least 10 / 15 years.
As far as I know he's hanging on in there so really hope she gets there in time.
Cheers.
Oct 29th 2019, 9:00 am
#7
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Re: Family
Father in Law died around 4am UK time today.
The health professionals looking after him suspected today would be his day and the Mother in Law stayed with him overnight so she has that comfort of being with him and seems a lot stronger that we expected. Unfortunately the Mrs didn't make it in time but she seems ok with that now knowing that Mum was with him.
Just come off the phone to the rest of the family and even though we all shared a few tears they seem in pretty good spirits.
RIP Brian. You were an absolute diamond
The health professionals looking after him suspected today would be his day and the Mother in Law stayed with him overnight so she has that comfort of being with him and seems a lot stronger that we expected. Unfortunately the Mrs didn't make it in time but she seems ok with that now knowing that Mum was with him.
Just come off the phone to the rest of the family and even though we all shared a few tears they seem in pretty good spirits.
RIP Brian. You were an absolute diamond
Oct 29th 2019, 8:36 pm
#8
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,611
Re: Family
I am sorry to read of this loss. There is never a right or a good time.
It isn't the physical distance that makes it all so hard , it is the final ever out of reach.
Watch for your MIL. She may seem OK now as this is the first moments. It will be later that she will need a huge amount of quiet support.
All the best and I hope your FIL's final farewell is all that everyone would wish .
It isn't the physical distance that makes it all so hard , it is the final ever out of reach.
Watch for your MIL. She may seem OK now as this is the first moments. It will be later that she will need a huge amount of quiet support.
All the best and I hope your FIL's final farewell is all that everyone would wish .
Oct 29th 2019, 10:03 pm
#9
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Re: Family
I'm really sorry to hear that. Condolences to you and your wife. It's crap being so far away at times like this.
Oct 30th 2019, 1:25 am
#10
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Re: Family
My condolences to your wife, yourself and family. It's a really tough time for all of you. I'll second what BEVS said about your MIL.
Take care x
Take care x
Nov 4th 2019, 1:19 am
#11
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 62
Re: Family
Sorry to hear this, Op.
My condolences and best wishes going forwards for your families
My condolences and best wishes going forwards for your families
Nov 10th 2019, 2:57 am
#12
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Re: Family
Thanks for the messages.
Funeral Monday arvo. Mrs flying back Tuesday evening doing the Mcr - Dubai - Auckland run on Emirates and lands back in Aucks thursday late morning.
It's been an emotional couple weeks for all concerned especially the kids who not only grieve int heir own way for grandad but also have Mum 18500KM's away and can only talk via video message
Funeral Monday arvo. Mrs flying back Tuesday evening doing the Mcr - Dubai - Auckland run on Emirates and lands back in Aucks thursday late morning.
It's been an emotional couple weeks for all concerned especially the kids who not only grieve int heir own way for grandad but also have Mum 18500KM's away and can only talk via video message
Nov 10th 2019, 3:00 am
#13
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,611
Re: Family
Thanks for the messages.
Funeral Monday arvo. Mrs flying back Tuesday evening doing the Mcr - Dubai - Auckland run on Emirates and lands back in Aucks thursday late morning.
It's been an emotional couple weeks for all concerned especially the kids who not only grieve int heir own way for grandad but also have Mum 18500KM's away and can only talk via video message
Funeral Monday arvo. Mrs flying back Tuesday evening doing the Mcr - Dubai - Auckland run on Emirates and lands back in Aucks thursday late morning.
It's been an emotional couple weeks for all concerned especially the kids who not only grieve int heir own way for grandad but also have Mum 18500KM's away and can only talk via video message
Nov 10th 2019, 4:10 am
#14
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Re: Family
I was flying home and heard that my mum had passed when I was changing planes at Hong Kong. I was moved to an empty row and given a big box of tissues. The crew were excellent.
