westie1234

My wife is from Turkey she wants to retire there, in fairness we do have it all setup in terms of property etc.

Buzzy--Bee

Elizabeth, there is a third way!

I too fell for a Kiwi and we have now been together 15 years. We lived in NZ for 2 years, couldn't make it work financially, and returned to the UK. We found ourselves at a time in our lives where we wanted to return down under and we have ended up in Melbourne, which offers the lifestyle of NZ combined with the economic realities of a western economy. If you think this might be an option to you, you might be able to get a visa for Oz.

BB

elizabeth_j_gill

Thanks! Yes, that's certainly an option to consider; I thnk I am more worried about leaving friends and family behind, and so Oz is almost as far, but it would definitely open up more 'good' job offers for me, I should think. Thanks for your message

martyc

My husband of 16 years is a Kiwi also. We started married life in New Zealand for 3 years and then came back to the UK. Now, I would very much like to go back to NZ for good but Kiwi husband wants to stay here. Its a different scenario as we both desperately want to live in each others country so one of us will always have to compromise. By the way, my husband would no more consider living in Australia (just because it is relatively near to the Shaky Isles) than I would 'say' France.

dannigirl

Wow, what an interesting situation! Judging by this site I think all the British women have taken all the Kiwi men!! ha ha

martyc

Yes, love him dealy, but the novelty factor soon wears off.

Buzzy--Bee

Weird. Australia is as close to NZ as London is to Moscow.

BB

elizabeth_j_gill

Marty: Novelty wears off - in that you wish you'd stayed in NZ and not come home, that you wish you'd never married someone from abroad, and avoided the conflict? Just interested to know what you mean. Thanks

martyc

I suppose what I mean is that we are really torn between two different countries in an unusual way that neither of us foresaw at the beginning of our marriage. This last year has been particularly hard. I have resigned myself to staying in the UK and cannot help feeling a little resentment. My husband says let review it in another couple of years but our son will find it very difficult to re - settle at 14 years of age and I will always put him first.

Sorry to air my marriage woes in public.

elizabeth_j_gill

Oh Ok... I see what you're saying. I can imagine that's tough, and in some ways difficult to properly settle if you feel a pull elsewhere. I kind of feel that at the moment (though obviously without the added need to do the right thing with regards to your kid) - I am hoping that at some point over the next few weeks or months that I will see some kind of guiding light that will point me in the right direction! Thanks again for your words, and have a good weekend.

martyc

Best of luck to you. Follow your heart and all that. I don't wish for one moment that hubby and I ever married. I can always put things into perspective and what we DO have is good.

Snap Shot

I met my kiwi husband in London in 1992 (he had turned up in Britain in 1990 on a British Passport as he's British born). We married in 1994. Next year we will emigrate to NZ (Christchurch to be exact, yeah I heard about the earthquakes etc). I saw the possibility coming, even before marrying him, that one day I would be living in NZ but said nothing as we were settled here. My husband has just turned 47 and has a hankering for NZ. Even though he's from Auckland. The Garden City (Christchurch) looks good. Our house is on the market, we intend to leave Britain next February.

elizabeth_j_gill

Good luck! I hope the move goes well

londonescapee

Hi there finally able to catch up with your story after being internet-less for three weeks how did we cope before the world wide web

It's such a tough decision but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you - thinking of the whole family and friends thing. This group of people just get on with their own lives and you start to build one yourself. I've found Skype and the $30 calling plan with Telecom make the world a much smaller place (although the former I have yet to use here as we literally got connected an hour ago ).

Having read through some of the other posts and posters on here though I can see that if you are close to your family then it can be very difficult, particularly if you are reliant on them as a support network. But for me, my husband is my everything - as said above, people go oh we will miss you and they do, but they get on with their own lives just as you would with your own. It is different when there is another to share it with and being all this way has just made us even closer as a couple - we actually get to see each other for starters

As for kids (which is a bit of a leap in your prospective relationship ) - having been here a month there is no way I would ever not consider them growing up here. What a wonderful outdoors lifestyle they can have. There are people running, cycling, power walking and just generally out and about all the time (fishing after work to catch dinner - and that is just round the corner from the centre of Auckland, amazing! Not sure I'd want to eat fish from the Thames, no offence to you Londoners but the water always looks gross). I'd debate the comment about maternity pay between the two countries, overall there don't seem to be much differences in statutory benefits and it of course very much depends on your employer in the UK if you get something halfway decent. The only plus in the UK is that they are introducing parental leave so men get the same benefits as women which they don't have here I don't think? Not sure haven't looked into it yet - just going on what other mums have told me thus far here (and one had one kid in the UK and then one in NZ). But most employers here are so flexible about family and working time in NZ from what we can gather from our own workplaces. So much more so than what I experienced in the UK with my teams. OH and I are having to drastically change our outlook on working practices as being chained to your desk is not encouraged at all

And at the end of the day it doesn't have to be forever, if it doesn't work out then just come home. As others have said, any chance of a sabbatical? It will be above all things, fun

Really looking forward to watching your story unfold do hope it goes well

dannigirl

I'd debate the comment about maternity pay between the two countries, overall there don't seem to be much differences in statutory benefits and it of course very much depends on your employer in the UK if you get something halfway decent. The only plus in the UK is that they are introducing parental leave so men get the same benefits as women which they don't have here I don't think? Not sure haven't looked into it yet - just going on what other mums have told me thus far here (and one had one kid in the UK and then one in NZ). But most employers here are so flexible about family and working time in NZ from what we can gather from our own workplaces. So much more so than what I experienced in the UK with my teams. OH and I are having to drastically change our outlook on working practices as being chained to your desk is not encouraged at all


Sorry to wander off the main topic of the thread but I think this is an important point. I think and correct me if I am wrong that NZ maternity pay is 14 weeks full pay, although you can take up to 52 weeks (so remaining 38 weeks at no pay). UK is 6 weeks 90% pay, weeks 7-20 50% pay, then weeks 21 - 39 is stat mat pay of £100 per week, weeks 40-52 no pay (this if of course based on full entitlement and in the UK that also means having to return to your post for at least 3 months).

I think it all roughly equates to UK would be about 50% of net pay for entire maternity leave, NZ would be 25% so there is a big difference!

Crikey we have got her married off and having babies already

On a serious note it is worth looking into to see how it affects each person/family and their individual situation.