londonescapee

I would dispute the smugness statement I haven't come across anything like that yet. What I've found with some is people ranting about how rubbish the UK is and they've left because it's gone to the dogs etc mass immigration which is rather unfair and annoying - you get the same types of problems here as you do in the UK.

I wasn't bought up in the UK either. We moved back to Plymouth when I was 11 and I hated every second of it (think early 90s ). Singapore to Plymouth was one helluva culture shock. We had no friends or family nearby, we couldn't run around outside, the food was awful, the people were intolerant, the weather was permanently pants, my mum had to work all the hours god sent as we couldn't afford to do anything as you had to drive to get anywhere decent (I recall many months of living off baked potatoes and spaghetti with tomato sauce!). The only thing that was magical was the snow and you don't get too much of that in the westcountry on the whole

I spent a good 15 odd years loathing the UK (and my brother couldn't get out fast enough) and funnily enough it wasn't until I met my NZ husband that through his eyes I began to really enjoy my time there. But I had no hesitation in leaving. It could have been (nearly) anywhere in the world that we ended up, I just wanted to try something different and it was easy to get here It may be that we don't stay here forever either as my main worry is that children can grow up to be a bit insular if their only sphere of knowledge is one country. My main driving force is wanting to offer my future kids what I had when I was little, and chuck in more stability into the mix! What parent doesn't want that I guess

I don't think though that the better life for kids is too overegged as on the whole people are just so much more active and practical (this depends on the family but that's the general impression I've gotten!). My work means I would have to stay around London, as would my husband. I also think I would have struggled to get him out of his south east comfort zone and move to somewhere else in the country - it was easier to get him back to NZ and he was really missing his family. There is no way in the world that I could offer a small child the kind of lifestyle that I could offer them here. I love how most people are always so active and just head off to do stuff here, boat in tow! As you say, it really depends on location and individual circumstance as you can of course offer that in the UK as well.

For me the main joy of being here is the lack of people and the space - something I only experienced right up the top of Scotland and there's not that much work available up there

Ah well you can only do what's right for you at the end of the day. You know me hopeless romantic, I'd tell you to get on the plane and go and put it all in the lap of the gods Enough from me I'd better get to work!

SuffolkbritinNZ

I love this!!! Something to be said for leaving it all in the lap of the gods!!! If I can't decide what to do, maybe they can!!!

dannigirl

Ewwwwww....I hate marmite! I totally prefer vegemite......runs and hides.

But, I have been meaning to get a tin of milo, I keep seeing it is rather random shops here. I love cold milo's, god that brings back childhood memories

ExKiwilass

Traitor!

Yeah, us having Milo together makes me happy in a way I can't even describe Next trick: pineapple lumps

elizabeth_j_gill

Londonescapee - no, I didn't really mean to be rude at all with the smugness statement. I hope it didn't come across like that. I guess I just look at it through different eyes, and a lot of ex-pats that I met in NZ didn't have a good thing to say about England (and many of them were a little bit rude about it and expected me to agree with them). I just think that there are probably swings and roundabouts with regards to bringing up your children somewhere else to where you originally 'came' from, that's all. I suppose what I was trying to say is that just as the UK isn't 'all bad', so too is NZ not 'all good'. (And those people who moan about mass immigration ruining the UK should consider that they are immigrants in NZ now!). I can totally see, Londonescapee, how NZ offers you so much more than living in London, especially with children. Goodness, the amount of people vying for space in London's parks on a sunny weekend is crazy. I couldn't believe it when we went walking on the beaches of Dunedin in the beautiful summer and we were the only ones on the beach - and all that, just outside of the city! Similarly, I think it's refreshing out there to go to a really great cafe/restaurant/bar and it not be heaving with hoards of people.
Finally, on the your 'hopelessly romantic' point, it sounds great but I'm still working to pay for my hopelessly romantic to-ing and fro-ing over my sabbatical year!! Getting a plane trip to, even, Edinburgh, might prove tricky right now

londonescapee

So wrong, but yet so right at the same time - I'm addicted!

londonescapee

Not offended at all I totally see where you're coming from. Sorry if I came across wrong The UK isn't all bad - far from it! There were some rather ill-informed remarks by a journo this week in the NZ Herald going on about immigration in Europe which was just ridiculous. We used to joke that my husband was one of them in the UK - he was even illiegal at one point as his work made a mess of his visa which saw him sitting back in NZ for 3 months trying to get it sorted

It's hard to decide whether kids should be bought up 'at home' so they know where they are from - you raise a really valid point. It was why my mum took us back to the UK because we saw ourselves as Singaporean which we quite obviously were not! It's very important to have a sense of self and belonging. I wonder how NZ/UK split families manage to instill both cultures as you can't be in both places at the same time!

Just on the to-ing and fro-ing.....get the man to pay I reckon what's women's lib all about anyway

elizabeth_j_gill

Haha! Good point well made....

elizabeth_j_gill

Oh dear!! This week is the worst yet (except perhaps for the very first week). I miss my chap so much. I am seriously considering moving. Would be great to hear any positive stories from those that worried about making the move, but were glad they did! (Also, great to hear from anyone who knows about any teaching jobs in Central Otago for a very lovely British teacher )
Thanks guys...

Expat Kiwi

Hi sorry I've not been following your story but are you saying he went back to NZ and left you?

elizabeth_j_gill

? Not sure what you mean? He was never here (well, only for a bit this summer). I met someone in NZ on a sabbatical last year; just debating what to do.

Expat Kiwi

Oh I see! thank you. Sorry, I should have read the whole thread

So you met him last year and saw him again over there for a few weeks this summer? sounds promising. Can't you persuade him go back over there for a while?

elizabeth_j_gill

Yeah I met him last Sept (end of). Spent til Nov ish with him and then came back here to the UK for Christmas and to earn a bit of cash. Went back out from Jan til April, then he came out in June for 3 weeks or so....and then, (goodness knows, I think I have been funding Air NZ's Christmas parties for the next three years) I went back out with him til the end of Aug. Back at school now (was a teacher on sabbatical). Miss him terribly. Am very much ruled usually by my head but something's telling me to return...

cookie2b

[QUOTE=elizabeth_j_gill;8941878] a lot of ex-pats that I met in NZ didn't have a good thing to say about England (and many of them were a little bit rude about it and expected me to agree with them). I just think that there are probably swings and roundabouts with regards to bringing up your children somewhere else to where you originally 'came' from, that's all. I suppose what I was trying to say is that just as the UK isn't 'all bad', so too is NZ not 'all good'.

Hi
I think....I have a reason for the above......the migration process is a long one and even when it moves relatively quickly it's still slow.....we started in march and will be moving out in 2 weeks.

What seems to have happend to myself and my partner is this.....time has gone on and NZ has got closer, and we have spent the time since applying, working v hard to take lots of $'s.
The closer it has got the more anxious and impatient we have become
We both find ourself having dail convo's about how "We can't wait to get out of here"

The UK isn't all bad we live in a quiet little grove in a fairly decent area, but it's not Auckland and right now thats where we want to be, thats where we have spent the last year battling towards.

(Typical feel sorry for us year....the car breaks down = oh no thats money from our NZ future, OH client cancells a job = oh no thats money from our NZ future )

I will miss the UK and to be honest it is a worrying thought as i think its the normallity i will crave aswell as the usual family (im not down playing the missing my fam stuff just ignoring it for now *burries head in sand*)

I think MAYBE the reason that so many of the expats you have encountered have been this way is because they have assosiated the migration Stress etc with being back in the UK awaiting the nod to leave. Or maybe they are like me and to proud to admit that maybe they are slightly wrong and that NZ might be a dream but isn't perfect? I really can't imagine myself admitting to my mum that the Nirvana I have built up to her is just ok

The main thing is that inbetween the "we can't wait to get out of here" chats I do think about what il miss as well as the great stuff thats waiting. The UK will always be where I came from even though it won't be home for much longer.

As far as the EVIL UK stuff yes car theft, graffiti, drugs, etc etc all exists but i defy anyone to find a country that doesn't have it and in the 23 years iv lived here I haven't *touch wood* had any first hand experience of the above.

With regard to your concerns about the not knowing ppl and places etc in comparrison with the life you have already built here, I think of it like this:

A few years ago I found myself walking away from my home (relationship breakdown) I had me and my son 8mnth old at the time and that was pretty much it. I had to be given homeless accomodation as i was to proud to tell my family. I was given a place to rent the otherside of the city, the first time i had been there was when i moved in! I knew noone and did not have much to my name, I had to work out where to get the things i needed and had to get a job......

Along story short i did it, I made friends, I found a good nursery, I got a job and I built up my home again, with relatively little help.....I look at NZ as a more extreme version of this starting over....The main difference being that This time I am not alone and it's a choice i have made not one which just seemed to happen.

If You and your KIWI mr are meant to be ten you'll settle and he will help you keep contact at home by visits, skype with the fam etc.

Sorry to go on

good luck

Hayley

elizabeth_j_gill

Thanks Hayley Yeah, I know what you mean about just viewing it as another chapter, with usual challenges. I guess the difference is between you and I is that I have not ever had to start afresh, and having just been in the Uk, building up my career, head down, everything has pretty much stayed at the status quo for the past several years, for better or worse. The prospect of moving myself (rather than being forced) out of my comfort zone, is, I guess, a leap of faith and one that I am working on making. I get what you're saying about the immigration process - I've yet to really make a concerted start but I guess as soon as I do, things will change. I am lucky in some ways in that my Kiwi chap has a home, and is fully employed in NZ. This has it's upsides but I am determined to stay independent financially (initially, at least) and so looking for a similar job to the one I do out here is proving tricky. I wish so much that it was just Europe he lived, not the other side of the world!