jennifer45

Hi there folks.
Just wondered if anyone out there had had their hopes and plans dashed through 'failed medicals' and what alternative plans/avenues of escape did they consider.
We haven't as yet failed, but having read previous threads, feel it is a distinct possibility.
We are both retired, so would not be able to contribute officially to the labour market or taxes- other than on investments, so proving our worth that way is pointless. Our contribution to the community and to our family in NZ is considered of little monetary worth- the $ being the criteria by which to measure the worth of immigrants from certain parts of the world.
We are very active and fit for our ages, but as most people when they age a certain amount of wear and tear is inevitable. Most of mine has been well corrected and some!
Having Private health Insurance doesn't seem to make a difference.
Even the younger and healthier immigrants will suffer the ravages of time eventually and become a 'burden on state resources'. Same the whole world over.
Is it worth getting old when you can't fulfil the one valuable reason for being ie; actually being a grandma, not just in name.
Don't want to look at the property lists the Est. Agt. keep sending.
Don't feel like sorting through the stuff in the garage.
Don't feel anything anymore.
Don't know why I'm on here.
Really, really down.

teebrown

Hey hang in there, as you have said, you don't know if you have failed the medical, so before looking on the down side, surely you have got to wait and see. Now if the immigration process was easy and they gave it to anyone, this website wouldn't be up and running and anyway isn't UK like that, they seem to let anyone in and isn't that one of the reasons for some of us to move on??

Hurdles all the way, but you just have to step back and take another run up, many people on here come up against a brick wall, but you have to have abit of fight.

You do sound very down, but you have got to look at the bigger picture, you only get one life and god knows when that will be up, some alot quicker than others, I have just lost my father at a young age of 66.

So yes you will have a few slaps in the face, and hurdles to jump, but just put your running and jumping shoes back on and get in the ring and fight.

jennifer45

Thanks Teebrown,
I feel as if I've been fighting the good fight for the last 8 years now, hence my little Avatar.
Thought we were a big step nearer after medicals. Thought we'd cracked it! Allowed myself to dream the dream a bit more.
Serves me right!
Miss the family, especially the grandchildren.
Youngest son is home on a visit at the mo and due to fly back in a couple of weeks. Think that and reading the negative results on some threads has tipped the scales so to speak.
But thanks to you for taking the time to care, even with your loss, I'm grateful.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. It's that aweful state where you feel frustrated because there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the outcome. A 'fait accompl'.
Thanks again
Jennie

j19fmm

Hey Jennie, want to come to the Kiwi Bar for a drink?? I'll buy...come on we can drown our sorrows together.
If the very worst happened and you got refused PR is there any chance you could do 6 months there, 6 months here? Expensive I know but a light in the darkness eh?
See you in the bar x

pixi-dust

HI Jennie, just wanted to say I was thinking of you, it's such a hard time and I think we've all been there at some point so totally understand how you feel.
Lots of luck and karma coming your way
xx

BEVS

Hey Jen : You having some of those horrible down days then? Can't say as I blame you . You have been waiting so long to be with your son and his family.

How did you feel your medicals went then? Is it that niggling away at the back of your mind a bit or another bit of the sponsorship policy. I doubt NZIS expect you to have the average body of a 44 year old.

Hang on in there Jen and if you want to have a good post , you go right on ahead. It's good to share.

Lorna at Vicenza

so many people have been so nice to you ..... and given you loads of advice ..... and although I would like to be nice as well, I can't help thinking that the title of your post is horrible .....so

Is suicide an option ? ----- YES it always is - but not everybody does it !

Genesis

Hi Jen, sorry to hear of your woes. If the worst came to the worst as stated by J119amfm..6 months NZ 6 months UK sounds like a compromise of sorts aye? You would be amazed what you can pull out of the bag aye?

I know about being down as my home life is being torn apart by my 7 year old lad with severe ADD. Life sure ain't easy but we must keep strong and have some faith. Positive mental attitude will overcome our problems..lets have a stiff upper lip!!! You will get here some way, some how!!!!!!!

Best, best of luck with those medics..let us know when you have passed!!!

jennifer45

hey there,
just checked in before hitting the sack-(literally!)

Thanks for the Karma and the thoughts.
Really am a bit disappointed with myself. Always thought I could rise above anything- Mum used to say we were made of cork- whatever was loaded on us to push us down- up we'd bob!
So tomorrow's another day and I'm gonna be "bob bob bobbin' along"!
Na- night all and thanks.
just caught your post , Bev.

No problems with sponsorship side of it, just medical issues.

OH has slightly raised cholesterol and triglycerides[?], mine was 5.4. His BMI was 36 but he's lost over 12lbs in less than a month.
I think that's brill. So we didn't think the results were too bad and we knew we could do something about it.
The thing that's worrying us is my hernia. I've lived with it for the last 9 years. Suffer occasional flare ups but just pop a pill and increase the gaviscon. No worries. Sod's law- I've been going through hell since the medical. Xray showed it had become incarcerated and suggested seeking advice from GP. Having the camera down next week. I know it's not a major op., but I've had so many lately, just dread the thought of hospital again. Also waiting list is a joke. my hernia was the result of being thumped not being over weight. Even so it wasn't until I read how strict and intransigent the IS medical officers treated others with a simple high BMI that I realised that we stood a high chance of being considered 'high maintenance'. [that'll be a first]
Thanks for your thoughts Bev- and you are so right- it is good to share- Don't want to burden the family- or 'friends' who have been sceptical from the start.
Na-night all
jennie

jennifer45

Sorry- it was a crass choice of title- but at the time I wrote it I was down very down. I was just mind weary looking at all the options available to us, should we be declined through health issues. The 6 months here and 6 months there was considered an option 6 years ago but not now. The travel alone apart from keeping house in UK and NZ would be such a drain on finances as well as health. Thought of getting a small property in Oz so we could hop back and forth but we wouldn't belong any where then and OH is already mortified that if we get accepted and sell this house, he will in effect be homeless for the first time in his life!
Suicide is no option whilst ever I have a family whom I love dearly and love me.
Please accept my apologies for the insensitive title.
Jennie.

jennifer45

You are a pearl.
Considering what you have gone through recently and your little boy, you still give support to others.
I feel a total wimp for letting things get me down- probably the bl....y weather.
It's been nearly 12 hours since I succumbed to feelings of 'woe is me'
Sharing with you all has geed me up. I've found my running shoes, got my stiff upper lip in place, and will adopt a positive mental attitude. I am hewn from true Yorkshire grit.
NZIS watch this space!
Na-night again.
Jennie

Genesis

No worries mate..I think some times we all go to the place you have just been..good on you for getting back on the horse!!! Thank you for your kind words.

May happiness be just round the corner!!

Dom XX

j19fmm

Morning Jennie, how are you feeling today? Sorry about inviting you to the bar last night, the site was playing up sooooo bad, I left you a drink and got myself a bottle of the white stuff, but when I visited this morning - god I'm drinking in the mornings? - it appears I never went?? How spooky! Promise I didn't drink it all myself.
Guess if it was down to positive thoughts you'd be on the plane now, don't you just love all the fantastic guys on this site?
Keep smiling

iwannagonow

New title is soooo much better! I was getting a little worried for a minute or two!

Glad you're feeling a little better now

Keep your chin up.....I'm sure everything will work out in the end

I'll def keep my fingers xd for you

there's a saying....'as one door closes, another opens'....it's very true & one way or another, you'll get there!!

Good luck, whatever happens....have some karma

Cheryl x

jennifer45

hey never apologize for inviting me for a drink- I just love my wine, but yesterday didn't touch a drop. Even my poor suffering hubby knew things were bad.
But that was yesterday- today is another day, the sun has got his hat on and is coming out to play, so no more morbid , woeful thoughts.
You guys on this forum really come into your own when the chips are down.
Can't thank you all enough.
Bev offered to change the title for me, as I was worried it would cause offence or hurt someone and it did seem so selfish.
Just come back from the 'leisure centre' 30 mins power walking and 25 laps of pool!
Now to eye up the wine for tonight. Your welcome to join me.