moonie2011

Mine hit about 6mths after we moved.
We moved, rented, didn't like renting, looked for house, found house, bought house, needs work so started arranging that. I then found the kids arguing and not doing as they were told I would cry, things went wrong, even the slightest I would cry, then the strangest was I went into a tidy frenzy, couldn't sit down, had to tidy
I was and still am happy here. I went to a acupuncture and Chinese medicine therapist. She described me as an elastic band that had been wound and wound over the past two years, the small outbursts where when the band was let go briefly but then caught again. If I kept twisting very soon it would unwind with no control, I had 4 sessions and the difference was almost immediate and amazing. This is probably one of the biggest things in your life, and no matter how much you want to be here it has affects. Listen to your body please, it's trying to tell you something
Good luck x

bearskin

That is an excellent description.

I know I have posted this many times before, but just in case you haven't read it (there is a lot to read on the forums...)
"In todays momentum of living, with our time stretched here and there; sometimes i just want to stop and enjoy what I have. To stop and breath the air, and just be. To love the people I love and enjoy the moment. I want to stop trying to find a way to wring another drop of pleasure out of my, frankly, already quite wonderful life."

bourbon-biscuit

No, it's not. It would have been if the meltdown was about not being able to find something in a shop but this thread is about the stress of emigrating. The meltdown was because of that.

To the OP: the way you are feeling is quite par the course. It's almost always a surpsise to expats to discover the extent of the stress they have gone through (definitely me included!). Give yourself time to adjust. Try very hard to prioritise spending some time each day doing something pleasant and normal and unrelated to the move, like a walk, a trip to the park, a play in the garden, etc. Mostly, try to get some head peace each day too by making sure you aren't always thinking about the move, the future, the decisions. You can combine the two by making sure when you do the pleasant thing unrelated to the move you are right there in the moment only.
Hope you feel better soon. I can't imagine doing it with kids your age - must be totally exhausting!

bearskin

'The stress of migrating' is a first world problem.

I can't imagine how unimaginable the idea that someone has the ability, the freedom of choice, the finance, to move to another part of the world to live because they feel like it - is to the vast majority of human beings.

I regard it as an immense privilege to be able to do so.

Whilst anything after breathing is a choice; some people do have easier choices than others.

bourbon-biscuit

Actually, the stress of migrating is very much NOT just a First World Problem, either in the spirit of that phrase or in its literal description; this is true even though for almost all users of this site they are immigrants by choice and coming from "first world" nations.

The term "first world problem" is a phrase that is used to shame or change the perspective of someone who is moaning about a problem that exists only in the absence of having nothing "greater" to worry about (i.e., according to the phrase, the stresses and worries of life in countries "not first world"). Experiencing significant stress and its resultant health issues after emigrating is beyond the scope of that phrase because the distress is not about something trivial or minor. You misunderstand the phrase if you think it applies here.

Let me give examples to help you get it:

Expat posts about the hassle of sweeping sand out the house now they live next to the beach = First World Problem

Expat rants about the price of Sarson's in the English shop = First World Problem.

Facetime or Skype? = First World Problem.

Expat experiencing significant distress and stress after emigrating culminating in unusual emotional outburts and poor physical health = it's a problem that occurs for lots of people who migrate, whether it is forced migration or not. Even for those that are immigrants by choice it is not a "First World Problem" but potentially a significant health problem in the post.

Yes, it's a huge privilege to emigrate No, that does not mean the potential stress and poorer health that migrants often experience during and after emigration comes under the category of that phrase.

desmondo84

lol, are you my wife in disguise? We arrived in Auckland about a month ago and pretty much in the same situation. Pretty tough going so far. Before we left, the better half found out her Iron was low - so that is something worth checking as it will make you feel tired. We have 2 toddlers as well - 2 and 3. Not easy!