Dilemma 2020 - I want to leave NZ but my partner wants to stay 2020
Jan 12th 2020, 12:31 pm
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2016
Location: Christchurch NZ
Posts: 469
Re: Dilemma 2020 - I want to leave NZ but my partner wants to stay 2020
I'm not able to give any advice as I've not been in this situation, but I'm sorry this has happened to you.
Becoming a parent certainly changes our perception of things.
I wish you all the best sorting it out..
Becoming a parent certainly changes our perception of things.
I wish you all the best sorting it out..
Last edited by Mishclark; Jan 12th 2020 at 12:34 pm. Reason: Didnt finish post!
Jan 21st 2020, 12:42 pm
#17
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 11
Re: Dilemma 2020 - I want to leave NZ but my partner wants to stay 2020
Thanks for your replys.
Currently in the UK have been here for 7 weeks and leave to go back to NZ next week. My partner is also here and said how much he likes it. Yes I could easily settle back here.
in terms of it not working unfortuantely it's not something I think about. It could not work in NZ and then I am left as a single mother with no one in NZ.
if the shoe was on the other foot I would do it for him. Plus he has stated how he does not want to live in Auckland so living in the UK would be exactly the same.
Currently in the UK have been here for 7 weeks and leave to go back to NZ next week. My partner is also here and said how much he likes it. Yes I could easily settle back here.
in terms of it not working unfortuantely it's not something I think about. It could not work in NZ and then I am left as a single mother with no one in NZ.
if the shoe was on the other foot I would do it for him. Plus he has stated how he does not want to live in Auckland so living in the UK would be exactly the same.
When we were visiting we didn't do normal life, such as rush hour, school runs, staying in etc. Now that has all come crashing back. Let's just say we quickly got fed up with NEDs/Chavs doing around in gangs while everyone claims it's a normal state of affairs. Sitting in traffic is demoralising especially with constant rain and little sunshine. Staying in is depressing after going to beaches most weekends. You quickly realise more time is spent sitting in watching a film instead of being outside.
Needless to say we regret coming home. With a new child nursery costs are astronomical in UK. Without 2-3 years of work history here you are entitled to no benefits (result of the papers peddling benefit migrants from EU). We wish we had stayed put and are looking at returning to NZ. The UK just isn't what we remember.
I tell you the above because it is important to look at the practical side of living back in the UK rather than the holiday mode of living. You may end up in the same situation. Please fully consider everything, including finances.
Good luck with what you decide, it isn't easy having this decision while caring for a little one.
Jan 21st 2020, 1:17 pm
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: Dilemma 2020 - I want to leave NZ but my partner wants to stay 2020
Hi, we moved back last year. Similar situation. We did the trip back and thought we could reintegrate but failed to account for the financial side of life and that it is different visiting to living in a place.
When we were visiting we didn't do normal life, such as rush hour, school runs, staying in etc. Now that has all come crashing back. Let's just say we quickly got fed up with NEDs/Chavs doing around in gangs while everyone claims it's a normal state of affairs. Sitting in traffic is demoralising especially with constant rain and little sunshine. Staying in is depressing after going to beaches most weekends. You quickly realise more time is spent sitting in watching a film instead of being outside.
Needless to say we regret coming home. With a new child nursery costs are astronomical in UK. Without 2-3 years of work history here you are entitled to no benefits (result of the papers peddling benefit migrants from EU). We wish we had stayed put and are looking at returning to NZ. The UK just isn't what we remember.
I tell you the above because it is important to look at the practical side of living back in the UK rather than the holiday mode of living. You may end up in the same situation. Please fully consider everything, including finances.
Good luck with what you decide, it isn't easy having this decision while caring for a little one.
When we were visiting we didn't do normal life, such as rush hour, school runs, staying in etc. Now that has all come crashing back. Let's just say we quickly got fed up with NEDs/Chavs doing around in gangs while everyone claims it's a normal state of affairs. Sitting in traffic is demoralising especially with constant rain and little sunshine. Staying in is depressing after going to beaches most weekends. You quickly realise more time is spent sitting in watching a film instead of being outside.
Needless to say we regret coming home. With a new child nursery costs are astronomical in UK. Without 2-3 years of work history here you are entitled to no benefits (result of the papers peddling benefit migrants from EU). We wish we had stayed put and are looking at returning to NZ. The UK just isn't what we remember.
I tell you the above because it is important to look at the practical side of living back in the UK rather than the holiday mode of living. You may end up in the same situation. Please fully consider everything, including finances.
Good luck with what you decide, it isn't easy having this decision while caring for a little one.
Last edited by Moses2013; Jan 21st 2020 at 1:34 pm.
