British Expats - Decisions...

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- - Decisions... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/decisions-925582/)

Hi,
lm 24 and trying to make a decision about moving to NZ from UK. I arrived 18 months ago and fell in love with the place, lifestyle and of course a boy. I have had the most amazing time there and love the life we were living together but just couldn’t help missing my family and friends in the UK. There were many times when I just thought I can’t do this anymore and then me and partner made the decision I should come back. We already had a trip back to UK planned so we both came to UK but he headed back after an amazing month exploring UK and spending time with my family. I’m now still in England and missing my partner and our life.
I just want people’s advice for managing homesickness? Is travelling back and forth regularly doable? When you have children how do you cope bringing up children away from you own family ?
A big thing for me is that my partner is farming and is going to struggle to get away for long periods of time regularly but I want him to be part of my family and to visit with me back home.
Im worried if I decide to stay in UK I will always have this ‘what if’ and that my life could have always been a better quality on the other side of the world.
Any advice much appreciated from a very confused girl.
Jess

Re: Decisions...

Dear jess
You've just described so beautifully what we all have to go through. You sound young, why not give it a go. Tell your parents you would like to try it for a couple of years. Let them down gently. Good luck.

Re: Decisions...

It is tough sometimes and the pull towards family and leaving them gets harder the more you see them; I am always heartbroken for a few weeks after any of them visiting us or vice versa but you get back into the swing / back to life and reality and back on a more even keel until the next time you see them. I think you need to be honest with yourself and accept that 'regular' trips are just not possible unless you have a lot of time and money available. I thought we would get home way more often than we have but have only managed three times in fifteen years; as time and money are the limiting factors and you can't justify the expense to pop back for a week or two. Once you throw kids into the mix its even harder on finances.