Death in the family: tough times
#1
Death in the family: tough times
Its only when you need to get somewhere super quick that you realise how big our planet actually is.
Mum received a cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago. Was advised I needed to visit, but October would be fine. A few days later, I was advised that I needed to make it sooner. I arranged with work to fly back next school holidays in July. A few more days later I was advised that wouldn't be soon enough, I needed to make it ASAP.
I went into a travel agent and booked a flight out of NZ back to UK the very next day. Mum (in hospital) was informed.
I still didn't get back in time. Two days is a long time when someone is dying. She died before I got there.
Absolutely devastated.
On the plus side: NZ employers and work colleagues have been utterly fabulous, very supportive. Even my family in the UK have remarked on it. Dad said I wa definitely in the right place in New Zealand, jus based on how the people of Southland and the staff have been, supporting me through all sorts of tough times when I first arrived, and now this.
I didn't realise that you can get a small discount with air NZ for critical illness and bereavement. I didn't realise how special the people of Southland are. I didn't realise that even though I am in fact on the other side of the world now, and was too late returning back to Mum, Dad still thinks. Made the right move.
W are ow planning, over the longer term, saving to help him afford a flight to come out to visit us.
Thanks New Zealand, a great comfort in very tough times.
Mum received a cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago. Was advised I needed to visit, but October would be fine. A few days later, I was advised that I needed to make it sooner. I arranged with work to fly back next school holidays in July. A few more days later I was advised that wouldn't be soon enough, I needed to make it ASAP.
I went into a travel agent and booked a flight out of NZ back to UK the very next day. Mum (in hospital) was informed.
I still didn't get back in time. Two days is a long time when someone is dying. She died before I got there.
Absolutely devastated.
On the plus side: NZ employers and work colleagues have been utterly fabulous, very supportive. Even my family in the UK have remarked on it. Dad said I wa definitely in the right place in New Zealand, jus based on how the people of Southland and the staff have been, supporting me through all sorts of tough times when I first arrived, and now this.
I didn't realise that you can get a small discount with air NZ for critical illness and bereavement. I didn't realise how special the people of Southland are. I didn't realise that even though I am in fact on the other side of the world now, and was too late returning back to Mum, Dad still thinks. Made the right move.
W are ow planning, over the longer term, saving to help him afford a flight to come out to visit us.
Thanks New Zealand, a great comfort in very tough times.
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Auckland
Posts: 67
Re: Death in the family: tough times
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and awful that you did not get back on time, but it must have been hugely comforting for your Dad to have you there and its great you have had so much support.
wishing you and your family the best.
wishing you and your family the best.
#3
MODERATOR
Joined: Oct 2011
Location: Wellington - I miss Castles, the NHS & English school system
Posts: 9,077
Re: Death in the family: tough times
So sorry to hear this news.
I'm sure it was a comfort to your mum that she knew you were coming back and must mean so much to your dad that you were there to support him.
Very glad to read that you also got the support you needed from the people around you
I'm sure it was a comfort to your mum that she knew you were coming back and must mean so much to your dad that you were there to support him.
Very glad to read that you also got the support you needed from the people around you
#4
Re: Death in the family: tough times
I'm very sorry to hear that your mum died so suddenly. It must have been a terrible shock. Grieving the death of a parent is hard. I'm also sorry that she died within weeks of you arriving in NZ. It's nice of your Dad to be so supportive.
I'm glad that you've had the support with this from your employer and the wider Southland community, especially as you were at your wits' end with everything in NZ.
I'm glad that you've had the support with this from your employer and the wider Southland community, especially as you were at your wits' end with everything in NZ.
#6
Re: Death in the family: tough times
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I remember some years back my brother was in intensive care in Sweden. Mum got on the plane in Auckland and had to spend 26 hours on the flight not knowing if her son was still alive. A terrible thing to go through. Fortunately for us he lived, but it brings home how hard it is when family are so far away.
I remember some years back my brother was in intensive care in Sweden. Mum got on the plane in Auckland and had to spend 26 hours on the flight not knowing if her son was still alive. A terrible thing to go through. Fortunately for us he lived, but it brings home how hard it is when family are so far away.
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 99
Re: Death in the family: tough times
What a heartbreaking situation. I'm so sorry.
#9
Re: Death in the family: tough times
Condolences for your loss. Yes, the distance feels like a million miles when someone the otherside of the world is sick or you need to get back in a hurry. <<<hugs>>>
#11
Re: Death in the family: tough times
sorry to hear of your loss.((hugs to you)) It is indeed a difficult situation being so far a way from home. I returned from a month in the UK in May after hearing my mum was diagnosed with Motor neurone disease. Since then an aunt passed away and yesterday I talked to my uncle (mum's brother) who has been diagnosed with Asbestosis -he has a lung tumour, nothing Drs can do, it's just a matter of months. I'm grateful for Skype and having seen the family in April.
#12
Re: Death in the family: tough times
So sorry about your loss, but I'm heartened to hear how your local community and work colleagues have been so supportive.
Whist on our journey to NZ got news that my grandfather has months to live. Got a text from my Mum this morning to tell me she's been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, I subsequently skyped her. So am feeling some of what you feel at the moment.
Your Dad sounds awesome.
Whist on our journey to NZ got news that my grandfather has months to live. Got a text from my Mum this morning to tell me she's been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, I subsequently skyped her. So am feeling some of what you feel at the moment.
Your Dad sounds awesome.
#13
Re: Death in the family: tough times
Its only when you need to get somewhere super quick that you realise how big our planet actually is.
Mum received a cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago. Was advised I needed to visit, but October would be fine. A few days later, I was advised that I needed to make it sooner. I arranged with work to fly back next school holidays in July. A few more days later I was advised that wouldn't be soon enough, I needed to make it ASAP.
I went into a travel agent and booked a flight out of NZ back to UK the very next day. Mum (in hospital) was informed.
I still didn't get back in time. Two days is a long time when someone is dying. She died before I got there.
Absolutely devastated.
On the plus side: NZ employers and work colleagues have been utterly fabulous, very supportive. Even my family in the UK have remarked on it. Dad said I wa definitely in the right place in New Zealand, jus based on how the people of Southland and the staff have been, supporting me through all sorts of tough times when I first arrived, and now this.
I didn't realise that you can get a small discount with air NZ for critical illness and bereavement. I didn't realise how special the people of Southland are. I didn't realise that even though I am in fact on the other side of the world now, and was too late returning back to Mum, Dad still thinks. Made the right move.
W are ow planning, over the longer term, saving to help him afford a flight to come out to visit us.
Thanks New Zealand, a great comfort in very tough times.
Mum received a cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago. Was advised I needed to visit, but October would be fine. A few days later, I was advised that I needed to make it sooner. I arranged with work to fly back next school holidays in July. A few more days later I was advised that wouldn't be soon enough, I needed to make it ASAP.
I went into a travel agent and booked a flight out of NZ back to UK the very next day. Mum (in hospital) was informed.
I still didn't get back in time. Two days is a long time when someone is dying. She died before I got there.
Absolutely devastated.
On the plus side: NZ employers and work colleagues have been utterly fabulous, very supportive. Even my family in the UK have remarked on it. Dad said I wa definitely in the right place in New Zealand, jus based on how the people of Southland and the staff have been, supporting me through all sorts of tough times when I first arrived, and now this.
I didn't realise that you can get a small discount with air NZ for critical illness and bereavement. I didn't realise how special the people of Southland are. I didn't realise that even though I am in fact on the other side of the world now, and was too late returning back to Mum, Dad still thinks. Made the right move.
W are ow planning, over the longer term, saving to help him afford a flight to come out to visit us.
Thanks New Zealand, a great comfort in very tough times.
I am so sorry to hear this news, I know you have only just arrived. It must be devastating.
#14
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
Re: Death in the family: tough times
Really very sorry to hear your news, sending you much love from Otatara
#15
Re: Death in the family: tough times
So sorry about your loss, but I'm heartened to hear how your local community and work colleagues have been so supportive.
Whist on our journey to NZ got news that my grandfather has months to live. Got a text from my Mum this morning to tell me she's been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, I subsequently skyped her. So am feeling some of what you feel at the moment.
Your Dad sounds awesome.
Whist on our journey to NZ got news that my grandfather has months to live. Got a text from my Mum this morning to tell me she's been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, I subsequently skyped her. So am feeling some of what you feel at the moment.
Your Dad sounds awesome.
I purchased a Skype subscription including all of Europe and NZ. I also purchased a UK and nZ based Skype number so that the UK relatives can call me on a UK number which I can divert to my NZ landline at no extra cost to them.
When I go back to the UK, I can divert the Skype to a UK landline and people in NZ can call my nZ no and still get hold of me at no extra cost to them.
I forget how much exactly, a Skype no is roughly £30 a year and the call subscription (unlimited calls to most major countries in the world) was £86 a year.
Makes it much easier to keep contact in times of need. (And way cheaper than any other option I considered)
Oh and air NZ - don't forget their critical illness discount.