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-   -   Cucumber News (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/cucumber-news-881215/)

barnsleymat Jul 31st 2016 3:54 am

Cucumber News
 
1 Attachment(s)
With the British Expats NZ forum hot topic at the minute being cucumbers I thought these pesky green treats deserved their own thread, who doesn't like discussing cucumbers, I know I sure do!

I want any cucumber related stories adding to this thread, I think the cucumber will overtake tomatoes price, electricity price, Auckland house prices and milk price as the price discuss in NZ.

So here's my first bit of cucumber news:

NZ Cucumbers are still the preserve of the well off here in Dunedin, I've done a price check today and they're still a wopping $6 at Countup supermarket even though on the countdown website they're listed as being in season. I can only presume the season they're referring to is silly season!

I've expressed my cucumber concern to my UK friends via social media, they were as shocked as me, one friend thought the price was for a dozen cucumbers as when checking on MySupermarket they're on average about 40p ($0.75). But then came the atomic bomb of cucumber news, a fellow BE member that recently left Dunedin for the UK bought half of one yesterday for 8p, yes, eight english pence from a shop in Holmfirth, the home of Last of the Summers Wine. Maybe this is the place to be if you like salad and watching elderly men roll down a hill in a bath whilst being chased my a rotund battleaxe armed with a mop and saggy stockings. There is a picture attached of her proud bargain, I think it probably deserved a video to be honest.

............. then the even bigger news broke, it cause shock waves around my house. My brother had been in Asda earlier snooping around the 'whoopies' products and only saw full cucumbers on sale at 2p each, at todays exchange rate that's an incredible 163 and a half times cheaper than here in Dunedin. He was obviously feeling flush as he bagged himself 4 of the long slender green beauties. He love Cucumbers every bit as much as I do, our love of cucumbers run in the family. WHAT A DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!

Back to the studio.




PS. I've had to leave the bit of cucumber news out about how sex toys are cheaper than NZ cucumbers knowing this is a family forum.

jmh Jul 31st 2016 5:01 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Makes you wonder how much the farmers are getting paid at those prices.

Vitalstatistix Jul 31st 2016 5:19 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
E bah gum! I remember t'days when we all used to discuss the difficulty of buying a decent sausage int New Zealand. How times move on, things just aren't t'same anymore :cry_smile:

LittleGreyCat Jul 31st 2016 1:36 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
I had a quick look but couldn't find these in NZ.
Cucumber 'Burpless Tasty Green' F1 Hybrid - Salad Seeds - Thompson & Morgan
They grow well outdoors, crop heavily, and are pretty good to eat.

One of the many seeds it would be good to be able to import.

My bad.
Cucumber Tasty Green F1 Hybrid : Egmont Seed Company Ltd, Online seed sales
amongst others.

Strangely, in NZ they are listed as "greenhouse" but in the UK they are listed as "outdoors".
Must be because of our better climate in the UK.:rofl:

Pulaski Jul 31st 2016 2:07 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by LittleGreyCat (Post 12016337)
I had a quick look but couldn't find these in NZ.
Cucumber 'Burpless Tasty Green' F1 Hybrid - Salad Seeds - Thompson & Morgan
They grow well outdoors, crop heavily, and are pretty good to eat.

One of the many seeds it would be good to be able to import.

My bad.
Cucumber Tasty Green F1 Hybrid : Egmont Seed Company Ltd, Online seed sales
amongst others.

Strangely, in NZ they are listed as "greenhouse" but in the UK they are listed as "outdoors".
Must be because of our better climate in the UK. ....

I grew a cucumber plant once in the UK. I grew it in the conservatory/ sunroom, which unfortunately only faced east-southeast. It grew just one cucumber, but it tasted very good! :)

BEVS Aug 1st 2016 12:16 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by barnsleymat (Post 12016113)
....whilst being chased my a rotund battleaxe armed with a mop and saggy stockings.

Leave my alter ego outta this. My thing is the

Spoiler:
price of tomatoes :scaredhair:

sparklyfrog Aug 1st 2016 12:18 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
Might have to call the whole thing off and stay in the UK. 3yr old has just started eating cucumbers like there's no tomorrow!!! 😂😂😂

Millhouse Aug 1st 2016 12:44 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
do you have the big ones or the little ones?

We have the little ones in the UAE - much more tasty. They are dirt cheap here - probably 4 little ones for around 2dh (0.75cents).

Pica Aug 1st 2016 1:19 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
I love cucumber and will pay lots for them 'cos they're cool-with cheese.
Saw some shaped like balls (small basketballs) at a market the other day-too weird!

Vitalstatistix Aug 1st 2016 11:04 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Millhouse (Post 12017059)
do you have the big ones or the little ones?

We have the little ones in the UAE - much more tasty. They are dirt cheap here - probably 4 little ones for around 2dh (0.75cents).

Yep, we have those Mill house. They are called Lebanese cucumbers in these parts and are also hideously expensive.

Millhouse Aug 2nd 2016 6:24 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Vitalstatistix (Post 12017501)
Yep, we have those Mill house. They are called Lebanese cucumbers in these parts and are also hideously expensive.

why are they so expensive? can't you grow them in NZ?

What about tomatoes?

Pom_Chch Aug 2nd 2016 6:50 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Millhouse (Post 12017691)
why are they so expensive? can't you grow them in NZ?

What about tomatoes?

Oh Millhouse no, not the T word!!! :scarper:

Millhouse Aug 2nd 2016 7:02 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Pom_Chch (Post 12017701)
Oh Millhouse no, not the T word!!! :scarper:

Wow - I googled the price - about 10-13NZ$ / Kg -- that's like 8x more than we pay :lol:

I have you on rent and utilities though - insane here.

Pom_Chch Aug 2nd 2016 7:06 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Millhouse (Post 12017706)
Wow - I googled the price - about 10-13NZ$ / Kg -- that's like 8x more than we pay :lol:

I have you on rent and utilities though - insane here.

Tomatoes are out of season in winter. In summer you can pick them up for 99c/kilo, sometimes 79c...those are good times!

Millhouse Aug 2nd 2016 7:17 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Pom_Chch (Post 12017708)
Tomatoes are out of season in winter. In summer you can pick them up for 99c/kilo, sometimes 79c...those are good times!

so what's the deal with the cucumbers? they grow in the same climate as Toms?

Justcol Aug 2nd 2016 9:52 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Below is a recipe for Cucumber Wine
I'm not sure if its the right time to attempt making it right now, as for the same
cost of the ingredients, you could probably stock up on a few bottles of Glenfiddich 50 Year Old Single Malt,
or at least a case if not two of Krug.

Antway, heres the recipe, I'm booked in to see the bank manager next week to dicuss a mortgage extension
so I can afford to give it crack


Ingredients
4lb Cucumber
2 Oranges
2 Lemons
7 Cups of Sugar
1tsp Pectic Enzyme
1tsp Wine Yeast
1tsp Yeast Nutrient
5g Tannin

Method
1. Wash the cucs and cut them into pieces
2. Wash oranges & lemons, slice thinly and add to cucs
3. Add sugar & poor 1 gallon boiling water over the mixture
4. Add pectic enzyme when cooled
5. After 24 hours add yeast. Stir daily for 5 days
6. Strain, pour into demijohn & fit airlock
7. Rack after 3 weeks and every month for 6 months then bottle

Bo-Jangles Aug 2nd 2016 10:05 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Wow steady on!! 4lbs of cucumbers - that's some kind of rock n'roll lifestyle. :p Before we know it you'll be slinging the TV out of your bedroom window.

Moses2013 Aug 2nd 2016 10:23 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Millhouse (Post 12017711)
so what's the deal with the cucumbers? they grow in the same climate as Toms?

It's rip off and that tomatoes are out off season is wrong. Thanks to modern lighting equipment, they even manage to grow them in the Netherlands all year round and anyone can grow cucumbers and tomatoes in their garden with a bit of creativity. If cold is the issue and you're worried about heating bills, just redistribute heat that you have anyway (shower, stove, other heaters.) Maybe that will solve the cucumber crisis :-)

Clappy Aug 20th 2016 3:12 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
1 Attachment(s)
The weather has noticeably improved in Auckland over the past week so I hope that means that the winter shortages are nearing an end - less than $4 for a cucumber today!

BEVS Aug 20th 2016 7:36 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Clappy (Post 12030589)
The weather has noticeably improved in Auckland over the past week so I hope that means that the winter shortages are nearing an end - less than $4 for a cucumber today!

I'm glad you posted that and not me. I'd have been cucumbered.

Shiny tasteless gilt edged tomatoes anyone :sneaky:

Bo-Jangles Aug 20th 2016 10:13 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Yay, only four more months til summer. :thumbup:

I've noticed most of the shops are gearing up and stacking the shelves with summer clothes and picnic ware. :rofl:

Damson Aug 20th 2016 10:45 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Have to say cucumbers are the one thing we have picked up here, looked at the price and simultaneously said "bloody hell - how much"!!! Not the only thing (obviously) but probably the most surprising.

MrsFychan Aug 23rd 2016 2:09 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
sorry but banana news, going to be a shortage over the next two weeks as a boat carrying bananas here has broken down :(

quiltman Aug 23rd 2016 2:29 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
We get Japanese cucumbers here - short and stubby, but still cucumbery taste. About 60p (UK). Most UK ones sold in supermarkets come from Netherlands but are sold off very cheap when near use by date.
todays price from ASDA is 42p(UK) just for interest.
no problem with bananas as they are grown here-can we send you a boat load Mrs F?

barnsleymat Aug 23rd 2016 2:42 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
I was once a witness to a vicious assault involving a cucumber.

Around 2001 the (now) wife and I were living together in our first proper home, we were renting a flat out on the outskirts of the town centre. Because every available penny was spent on nights out things were tight. Back then the most famous budget supermarket was Netto, our was a few miles away right in the middle of a sprawling council estate confirming the truth in the phrase 'where there's a Netto, there's a ghetto'.

Every Friday we'd go there for the 'big shop', it took some doing to spend more than 40 quid, you'd have to use frozen pizzas to extend the height of a shopping trolley for it to hold more than 40 quids worth of groceries. One Friday we headed down there and just in front of us entering the supermarket through those revolving shiny aluminium turnstiles was a young couple about our age, they had obviously not perfected the pizza box technique as they were going in armed with a trolley each, Dale Winton would have been spinning in his grave had he been dead. This young couple were having a blazing row as we headed up the first aisle, this aisle started with tinned bargains eventually ending up as the fruit and vegetable section. She was giving him a right old telling off, shouting and swearing which had the whole supermarket peering over and through the shelving units. I remember telling my missus that whatever happened we were to stay firmly behind this couple, we couldn't risk the possibility of missing a council estate supermarket full on domestic, things like this didn't happen very often and there was no way we were missing it. As the couple reached the end of aisle one they were vocally browsing the fruit and vegetable on display still arguing. She was obviously more into the fresh foods than he was as he set off down aisle two. Aisle two was the kind of aisle you only get in budget supermarkets, it's the aisle where anything goes, you could pick up a bottle of Slovakian dandruff shampoo, a 20 piece socket set and some wheel trims for a 1993 Escort Mk3 all from the same shelving unit. He was in budget supermarket heaven, I think she knew this as she was obviously planning her attack very carefully and wanted to catch him off guard, maybe she'd spend time in the military, who knows. She exited the fruit and vegetable section, rounded the corner into aisle two and then it happened.......... She brutally launched a foot long polythene wrapped cucumber right in his direction with pin point accuracy, maybe she represented Yorkshire at cricket because this throw was a beauty. It hit him right on the side of the head, he wasn't expecting a thing, the force at which she threw it guaranteed the polythene wrapping stood no chance. This giant of a cucumber exploded on impact and we were metres away, what a sight!!!!

What happened next is still talked about to this day (in our house anyway), as he was composing himself trying to figure out why is head was throbbing and why aisle two was covered in green chunks of cucumber and shreds of polythene she started her second assault, this one was vocal, she bellowed out at the poor bloke..... 'Now look what you've gone and made me ******* do'

Happy days!!!!!

Snap Shot Aug 23rd 2016 7:25 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
If natural yoghurt, mint and garlic were launched in the arial assault he would have been covered in Tzatziki.

Snap Shot Aug 23rd 2016 7:35 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by MrsFychan (Post 12032668)
sorry but banana news, going to be a shortage over the next two weeks as a boat carrying bananas here has broken down :(

Oh yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.

Damson Aug 23rd 2016 9:59 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by barnsleymat (Post 12032678)
I was once a witness to a vicious assault involving a cucumber.

Around 2001 the (now) wife and I were living together in our first proper home, we were renting a flat out on the outskirts of the town centre. Because every available penny was spent on nights out things were tight. Back then the most famous budget supermarket was Netto, our was a few miles away right in the middle of a sprawling council estate confirming the truth in the phrase 'where there's a Netto, there's a ghetto'.

Every Friday we'd go there for the 'big shop', it took some doing to spend more than 40 quid, you'd have to use frozen pizzas to extend the height of a shopping trolley for it to hold more than 40 quids worth of groceries. One Friday we headed down there and just in front of us entering the supermarket through those revolving shiny aluminium turnstiles was a young couple about our age, they had obviously not perfected the pizza box technique as they were going in armed with a trolley each, Dale Winton would have been spinning in his grave had he been dead. This young couple were having a blazing row as we headed up the first aisle, this aisle started with tinned bargains eventually ending up as the fruit and vegetable section. She was giving him a right old telling off, shouting and swearing which had the whole supermarket peering over and through the shelving units. I remember telling my missus that whatever happened we were to stay firmly behind this couple, we couldn't risk the possibility of missing a council estate supermarket full on domestic, things like this didn't happen very often and there was no way we were missing it. As the couple reached the end of aisle one they were vocally browsing the fruit and vegetable on display still arguing. She was obviously more into the fresh foods than he was as he set off down aisle two. Aisle two was the kind of aisle you only get in budget supermarkets, it's the aisle where anything goes, you could pick up a bottle of Slovakian dandruff shampoo, a 20 piece socket set and some wheel trims for a 1993 Escort Mk3 all from the same shelving unit. He was in budget supermarket heaven, I think she knew this as she was obviously planning her attack very carefully and wanted to catch him off guard, maybe she'd spend time in the military, who knows. She exited the fruit and vegetable section, rounded the corner into aisle two and then it happened.......... She brutally launched a foot long polythene wrapped cucumber right in his direction with pin point accuracy, maybe she represented Yorkshire at cricket because this throw was a beauty. It hit him right on the side of the head, he wasn't expecting a thing, the force at which she threw it guaranteed the polythene wrapping stood no chance. This giant of a cucumber exploded on impact and we were metres away, what a sight!!!!

What happened next is still talked about to this day (in our house anyway), as he was composing himself trying to figure out why is head was throbbing and why aisle two was covered in green chunks of cucumber and shreds of polythene she started her second assault, this one was vocal, she bellowed out at the poor bloke..... 'Now look what you've gone and made me ******* do'

Happy days!!!!!

That was such a funny post - I literally laughed out loud. With such verbal eloquence and attention to detail, I felt I was there. You HAVE to be a writer surely?

Charismatic Aug 24th 2016 5:22 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Snap Shot (Post 12032777)
natural yoghurt

Specific.

Justcol Aug 24th 2016 10:12 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by barnsleymat (Post 12032678)
It hit him right on the side of the head, he wasn't expecting a thing, the force at which she threw it guaranteed the polythene wrapping stood no chance. This giant of a cucumber exploded on impact and we were metres away, what a sight!!!!

PMSL :lol:

Reminded me of this

Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,
And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.

Hazelnut Aug 24th 2016 2:06 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
For lunch today I had a load of this

Tesco Whole Cucumber Each - Groceries - Tesco Groceries

with fresh cherry tomatoes, rocket leaf salad and a huge wedge of red leicester cheese with fresh bread straight out the breadmaker. Whole thing was under £2. :p

MrsFychan Aug 24th 2016 9:17 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Justcol (Post 12033823)
Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,
And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.

oh that brought back memories

BEVS Aug 24th 2016 11:06 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by Hazelnut (Post 12033976)
For lunch today I had a load of this

Tesco Whole Cucumber Each - Groceries - Tesco Groceries

with fresh cherry tomatoes, rocket leaf salad and a huge wedge of red leicester cheese with fresh bread straight out the breadmaker. Whole thing was under £2. :p

:demon:

Kotare Aug 24th 2016 11:55 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
I planted four cucumber plants in the veg garden today - next the roadside stall - my wife is already looking at diamond pendants :)

bourbon-biscuit Aug 25th 2016 2:20 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
A noticed a Guardian article yesterday where immigrants in NZ were discussing life there ... and someone mentioned buying a cucumber for $6.50. I thought, that's fighting talk, that is :lol:

https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...in-new-zealand

barnsleymat Aug 25th 2016 3:08 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Cucumber News has finally gone global.

It was only a matter of time.

BEVS Aug 25th 2016 3:23 am

Re: Cucumber News
 

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit (Post 12034397)
A noticed a Guardian article yesterday where immigrants in NZ were discussing life there ... and someone mentioned buying a cucumber for $6.50. I thought, that's fighting talk, that is :lol:


Originally Posted by barnsleymat (Post 12034416)
Cucumber News has finally gone global.

It was only a matter of time.

Was that you Barnsleymat incognito :sneaky:

There are some good balanced viewpoints within that article TBH.

I do feel that it is a certain sort of immigrant that defends the inflated prices of fruit/veg at certain times of the year here. Most of the locals around me berate the high prices & don't bleat on about buy in season. They want what they want, when they want it ... at an affordable price.

Sounds a bit normal to me .

barnsleymat Aug 25th 2016 8:25 am

Re: Cucumber News
 
Not me, but he does talk a lot of sense. He's spot on about the beer prices and measures too, it's scandalous.

Hazelnut Aug 25th 2016 6:43 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
Sorry Bevs :lol:

I don't understand why NZ doesn't have a year round supply of cheaper cucumbers and tomoatoes. With a decent greenhouse they can be grown all year round in almost the whole UK and NZ is supposed to be a much better climate for growing them!

Kotare Aug 25th 2016 10:03 pm

Re: Cucumber News
 
They can be grown year round, certainly up north, but:

a) greenhouses are expensive
b) some people don't have the space/green fingers/energy
c) more fun whinging about commercial costs.

On the commercial side - distribution costs in NZ are high and it is a relatively small market. I don't understand how the local citrus growers survive selling mandarins etc at $4 for a largish string bag.


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