Genesis

A very good friend of mine is getting divorced. He and his ex are NZ residents. They have 3 kids. The breakdown of the marriage is simply the did not get on any more. There is no violence, no restraining orders in the mix. She currently has full custody in NZ.

He now wants to revert back to 50/50 care as was previously the case.

She has suddenly gotten job in Oz and is going to try to woo the kids to come with her leaving my mate without reasonable access to the kids (he does not own a private jet). His matrimonial lawyer has not said as I thought she would "there is now way this would be allowed to happen in your case".

He now has to wait over 2 weeks to see what her case is to put before the family judge who apparently COULD give her the right to take them out of NZ.

I would have thought that with the exception of a proven abusive relationship (ie going to Oz thus escaping said nutter) there is NO WAY on God's earth that any judge would allow this. What do you lot reckon? Even if she has convinced the kids that Oz is waaaay better and the kids advocate says the kids want to go would the judge really not listen to my mates protestations????

MattandJax

in my experience, its all done as individual cases and always in the best interest of the children.not the parents.

has your mate been having regular contact and input with the children?.(this would go in his favour)

you say she now has full custody, and he wants to revert back to 50/50. why was this changed in the first place?

anyways, best of luck to him. would be horrible to lose contact like that. as you say, its seems like it shouldn't happen

Genesis

Thanks for your reply. He gave her custody as he thought the 2ing and froing was not good for the kids. She has become increasingly difficult about his access to the kids. It is very rare that he sees them atall thses days inspite of living a few k's away. I am surprised about that kids can be removed from a country by a partner if the other disagrees even if the kids would prefer Oz. They have had and could continue to have a good life in NZ. She is being very difficult!

Expat Kiwi

Poor guy but is she really being difficult or just trying to do the best for herself and her children ?

If may be a totally different matter if the kids were born and raised in New Zealand, or if the father was a New Zealand citizen. If that were the case I have a feeling that the court would prefer them to stay in New Zealand.

If it came to the worse and the kids left the country one option open to him will be to move to Australia to be close to them. Not ideal I know, but better than nothing?

Hope it ends well for them all.

Am Loolah

Oh dear, poor family. I don't know Genesis as thankfully that's not something we are going through with our separation, but I'm guessing it may well depend on the ages of the children too? I'm assuming they're quite young if they can be "wooed?"

Genesis

I just spoke to him. The poor sod. One of his kids has mooted that he is only happy spending 3-4 days a month with dad and the other 2 wish to go to Oz. They are all 10 down to 7. I feel so sorry for him. Not only does he have all this crap but a huge tax bill to pay and other sundry problems. He will be living with us once his disasterous house sale has gone thru at a huge loss as he will not need a new home now for the kids, so we will be able to take care of him. My God and I thought I had had some shit in the last 5 years!!! There is always some one worse off than you eh? What makes it worse is he one of the nicest blokes I have ever met.

pricklykina

It's always the nice blokes. My friend's ex has kidnapped the kids and taken them overseas and will not return them. Even with the hague convention she got away with it. Four years ago she took them and now they are so settled that they won't come back. We found out this week that they won't be returning. Absolutely heartbreaking...she should be in jail.

So I feel for your friend. Make sure that he has a good lawyer (the kids will have their own one and while it is all about them and their needs, a good lawyer will help him make his case)

Oh another friend of mine has a violent ex and she is still not able to take her child overseas to live