cannot stop crying
 

We have just booked out flights for wed 8th July to start our new life and I cannot stop crying.

It was our grandsons birthday on sunday & he was 2, we had a family day out to Chester Zoo. Having all the family together was both wonderful yet upsetting when I see what we are leaving behind.

I have to say this is the hardest thing I have ever done,leaving behind my children & grandchild. Even though I know it is the right thing for us, as it gets nearer I am getting worse and am sooooo dreading the final farewell.

I knew it would be difficult but I did not realise it was going to be so bad. I feel like it has only just hit me that it will be a long time till I see them again once I have left.

I may be being a bit of a drama queen but at the moment I am so emotional.
Please someone tell me it gets easier. :(

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hi there, we're not quite at this point yet .... so don't know if it gets any easier, but just wanted to say I feel for you, it must be traumtic but remind yourself of the reasons you're doing it .... 'your new life' etc.

Our close friends have a son & grandchildren in Perth ... they visit every couple of years, make regular phone/skype calls and although they would love to be with them more find that this contact does ease the 'pain', I know they keep reminding themselves that they are only 24hrs away.

Best wishes for your journey and new life!
B x

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Yes, this is the bit I'm worried about too. Have you got Skype? We've just set my parents up with it on the internet and it's fantastic. You can have telephone conversations with a video link. Just like being in the same room. May help to bridge the gap across the oceans a little.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Yes got skype thankfully. Trying to get kids set up with it at moment but they seem to be in denial still.

God I will miss them so much
xx

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hi,

We arent at that stage either but it wont be long. We are making sure that our families have web cam's plus we've allready got skype. I must admit saying goodbye is the part that I'm dreading. I've alredy booked my son a flight out to visit us at xmas
When my sister moved out there, although it was upsetting at first, things did get better, we spoke every week on the phone using skype and web cams and it didn't feel like we were so far apart !! As time went on it did get easier and easier.
Keep your chin up and remember why your going on this rollercoaster. All the best with everything :thumbup:

Re: cannot stop crying
 

The last week for us was horrendous .. the leaving party, and then the final goodbyes to parents and friends were all spent in tears. Felt absolutely awful and had we not been so sure this was the right decision, it would have been soo easy to just call a halt to it.

Saying that, once we were heading for the airport, it became a lot easier. Probably because of the excitment?

Once here, we now skype our folks twice a week, talk on the phone and have already had a few visits so it does get a lot easier, and really hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I was expecting.

HTH,

Lou

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hi, I have been through it, we have been here 3 months now and yes it does get easier. I lost my father a few months before we left, so leaving my Mum all by herself was so hard. She knew why we were doing it and encouraged us (even if deep down she was doubting what she was saying).

The week before we left we stayed with Mum and it was like a lead weight around my neck, I was walking around try to smile and not letting myself even think about the 'big' day. On the day my son broke his heart, he was 6 and something I had never seen before and tears were streaming down my face.

But now, well I speak to my Mum more now via MSN webcam usually everyday than I ever did, I bought a Thi Chi phone card - this lets me speak to the UK for 4c a min. The webcam is brilliant, the kids get to see their nanny and it's all good. I'm glad we made the move as it was for the family, my family.

As soon as I got off the plan and hit the hotel, I had my laptop on speaking to home - it certainly helped.

Deep breaths, it will be alright.:)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

I am such an emotional wreck, I even sat here crying reading all your goodbye
stories.

It feels better to know it gets easier, and I am quite sure I will probably speak to our youngest son more from NZ than I do in the UK.hopefully)

I am just scared our 2 year old grandson will forget who we are.

xx

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Gosh, I really feel for you.
But remember - you have to do whats best for you. Hopefully you can afford to visit him or have him come out to you as he's growing up.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Your grandson wont forget who you are, keep the webcam up and running all the time and you will see him grow up and he will see you, to him this sort of technology will be normal - the world is getting smaller.
;)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

We also left a Daughter, Son and 2yr old Grandson behind, i am not going to say its easy because it most definetly is not, but Skype is fantastic i talk to my family twice a week on Skype and in the case of my Big Sis sometimes twice a day, that should stop soon as she is moving here at the end Aug :eek:

For me leaving the Grandson was the hardest part as i was there with my Daughter when he was born but talking on Skype is great, my Grandson loves it and says to his Mum, and my Mum and Dad, its Noisy Nanny on the computer, he then gets all his Toys to show me and we play games on Skype, so it really isnt as bad as you think. On Christmas Day we Skyped them and i got to watch him undo his Christmas Presents and it felt like we were really there.

The way we look at it is, you are also giving your Children and Grandson an opportunity to live in NZ if they want to in the future, as you will be able to Sponsor them after 3yrs. Hope you have a safe journey and Good Luck with your new life in NZ :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Know exactly how you feel;we leave in 6 days and have just had all the farewell parties. I am crying all the time too,especially when I think about saying bye to my folks and in-laws on Sunday.We have banned all family from the airport on Monday,would be too emotional. I want my 2 sons first time on a plane to be exciting,not marred by being sad and crying. I am going about thinking this is my last Monday,last trip to the chemist,last time doing lots of things and although I am trying not to I am getting upset by it all. I am not excited yet,but feel scared as it is all too real now. We cleared all the cupboards today of things we won't need like tins,stock cubes,coffee etc and cleared the medicine cabinet,under the sink etc. Then I sat and cried my head off. I've been told this is natural. And it gets better. You are not alone feeling like this.

Phyl x

Re: cannot stop crying
 

I never felt any sadness when we left Manchester last year.
We left parents,brothers, sisters and freinds behind and everyone of them wished us well
and understood why we were making the move.

New Zealand is a GREAT place to live.
The people are friendly, the country is beautiful and when the summer arrives
and the sun has got his hat on its the only place to be.
Look forward not back and enjoy your new life.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Just made me cry reading your messages we haven't even booked our flights yet! Think I am going to be an emotional wreck by the end of this process!!

Re: cannot stop crying
 

You and me both!!;)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

I think it would definitely help to say your goodbyes before you leave for the airport. We all went to see my brother, sister in law and my nephews off to NZ four years ago. It was awful - everyone got really upset and to be honest - it wasnt fair on the kids who should have been excited about getting on a plane for the first time etc. Telling family you dont want them at the airport will prob be very hard but will make it easier for you and for them in the longrun. We fly out at the beginning of August and are also really beginning to go through the exitement / upset of doing things for the last time etc. My mum & sister aren't very happy about being "banned" from the airport but understand our reasons for this.

Wish you all the best - just keep in mind why you are making the move and make sure you keep in touch with the people who matter once you're out there. Skype makes it so much easier especially at christmas & birthdays.

Good luck, X.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

You definitely have to ban family and friends from the airport, we did this, we were up front with everyone and told them we just couldn't handle the goodbyes there. They all respected our wishes and it was so much easier, there were even smiles and laughter on the flight.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

My Mum nervously asked me 'you don't want us to wave you off at the airport do you?' My reply 'most definitely not' Her response 'thank goodness for that..don't think I could handle it'

I wasn't emigrating either!

Definitely no goodbyes at airport...horrible enough places without that to deal with as well.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Same here!

Re: cannot stop crying
 

This is a really difficult one - it's totally different for me to say goodbye to my Mum (who I may never see again) than it is to say goodbye to my son. I can handle the mum part easily - it's the son part that's the sticker. I'm not trying to make you feel worse but there's no way to say that it's always easy. My son is just waiting for the recession to be over and then he's going to be off - which I always knew would be the case - so there was no point in my staying just for him. I'm just hoping his 'off' will be in this direction. We DO find it easier to really talk to each other now though and just recently, for the first time since he was a small boy, he's started telling me he loves me :wub: So, it's not all doom and gloom :)

It will definitely be hard in the beginning but if you know that and are expecting it you can devise ways to get around it. And just saying that you miss them and having a good old cry is very therapeutic. Good luck

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hi, can I just offer a little advice? We have only been her for 11 days and I have to say that we have good days - tear free as we call them, and not so good days, when all we do is cry. I have 2 young children and the youngest never wants to go back to the UK as 'the food on the plane smells so bad' lol. My 8 yr old girl is the one struggling the most, missing family, friends etc and of course, if she cries, I cry! However, when I ask her if she wants to go back to the UK, she says 'no way!' Things will get easier I'm sure.
Anyhow, the day we were flying, we had booked a taxi for the airport run as we didn't want family at the airport. I had informed them that we were emmigrating and would have lots of luggage (7 kgs over too! but thats another story) The taxi firm assured me they would send appropriate vehicle. They had been booked for 3.30pm and it was friday (busy time on M62). |At 3.45 the taxi driver turned up in a bloody focus estate!!! FFS
He took one look at our luggage on the pavement and said 'you have got no chance!' After just saying all our last family goodbyes to mum & dad, sister etc, we were pretty pissed off with the taxi firm. After spending 15 mins trying to get a mini bus to us - unsuccessfully, my sister said 'sod this, get in the car' My mum & dad who I definately didn't want at the airport also started loading their car with luggage. The children and I travelled with my sister and my husband with my parents - bless him!
Anyhow, we ended up with family at the airport to say goodbye. I asked them to just say goodbye at the drop off point in the carpark though as my children had never flown and I didn't want it to be a traumatic event. Saying goodbye was quick and I must admit I did feel guilty saying goodbye then walking away, but trust me, it is easier than prolonging the process and making yourself worse especially if you have children with you. Once inside the airport, things kind of get easier as you have that much on your mind, passport control, duty free etc. Once you are there (here), you will realise that even though you have left everyone behind, the future is bright and after all, they are only 24 shourt hrs away!
So take heed, if you don't want any tearful goodbyes at the airport, make sure you book a mini bus!
Take care and have a safe journey.
Lynda xx

Re: cannot stop crying
 

It does get easier. It's not surprising that we become an emotional wreck before doing something as major as moving so far away, it is to be expected.
It's funny how you spend so much time organising visas and emigrating etc etc and it's only when it becomes "real"and immediate that the full force of what you are doing really hits home. It's just the unknown. As my Dad said "don't worry, we are only 24hr away if anything happens" The reasons you wanted to emigrate are still valid. You feel so bad now as this is the only real downside to moving hitting home with a vengeance.

I agree with everyone about allowing people to take you to the airport. Don't do it!.
My Dad took me to LHR as I had so much luggage and was coming from Durham. Great idea until we were there. I spent the whole time trying not to cry and then made the slowest journey through security it was possible to make. Lots of tears and he would not disappear, everytime I looked round he was there and I couldn't move further on:( The staff told me to hurry up telling me I'd see them all again soon. I snapped back that I was emigrating and didn't know when I'd see them again and they backed away from the scary emotional crying woman:rofl: Ended up running to the gate:eek:
So just to reiterate, go to the airport alone!!!

Take care and hope this does help a little, at least I hope it hasn't made things worse.
Sue :D

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Top tip, we hired a car one way, alot cheaper to the airport than a taxi (we were coming from Bristol) and we definatley knew our luggage would get in, even though some of it was sitting on the kids lap and wedged under my legs, and we got it half price as we picked up from major airport and dropped off at major airport.

Good luck

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hi
If its any help we went through all this 15mths ago My Kids have accepted it well now and we talk regularly on the internet or on skype direct phone which is so good. They were in denial up to the point of us leaving but all is good now
all the best Gazzer

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Sorry to disappoint all you guys, but I've been here four years and it gets much worse for at least two years. Even the Kiwis' own immigration magazine admits it. Kiwis are not brits. They think and do things slightly different. Even if some of them resent the influx of Brits into their society they will still readily take your money off you. As soon as they hear your accent, an extra "0" is added to the end of the price. If you don't have to get a job or work for a living then you may just get along. Before we came to live here we visited a few times to make sure. As a tourist, you're treated like royalty, once you want to earn money of them, its another country. A Swiss expat told us at that time that if you want to get on in New Zealand you have to work for yourself. We have found that to be 100% true. We are already looking to return to Europe warts and all when the economic situation settles down.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Oh well that's bound to cheer the OP up,eh?:unsure:

Re: cannot stop crying
 

I think my family will agree with you. To get on in NZ you have to work for yourself so they went into business for themselves and its worked so far.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

There I go again. I'm just a misery guts when I get up in the morning:frown: This country is indeed beautiful. :thumbup:I'm sitting here at my computer looking out of the window, I see the Southern Alps. Its dead quiet. Its winter so very frosty. I just wanted to warn people that the change they are about experience is deeper than a different time zone. I'm sure Hokepokey will enjoy this place.;)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Well we are here now and I have to say saying goodbye was harder than I had anticipated.

I feel so drained, I must have cried for the full week before the final goodbye.My dad and grandson were the hardest as my grandson who is 2 had no idea this was goodbye for a long time and my dad I do not exoect to ever see again.

I had managed to stop crying on arrival at Auckland and was at the final passport control and the inspector on finishing checking our docs said 'welcolme home'. How nice was that, well there was me crying again.

We are spending a few days in Auckland then driving over to new plymouth were we will be living. I am trying to look forward and not dwell on family back in the uk and am trying to refer to nz as home from now on

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Good for you, well done, I don't expect the tears will be your last, but it will get easier, for now look around the stunning views, meet some new friends and enjoy what the furture holds. Good luck with everything, and welcome to NZ x:)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Hey there Gob-Stopper Eyeballs formerly known as Deb_Steve. :cry_smile:
Welcome to NZ. :cry_smile:
It will get much better :cry_smile:
With time :cry_smile:
Honest :cry_smile:
Injuns :cry_smile:


Seriously, a warm welcome to New Zealand and well done you for getting through what is a totally traumatic experience IMHO. I so know about the gut-wrenching crying thing . Many of us do and it is terrible. No two ways about that.

We don't all jump off the plane ( once it's landed you understand ,else it would be imminent death whilst crying the eyeballs out :p ) and go wow wizz !! , aint it all great !! Sometimes it takes a little time and that is perfectly normal.

Allow yourself to enjoy the start of your new life. This is a stunning country and a brave new world.

As TeeBrown says, give it a bit of time. Soak up the countryside vierws , meet a few new friends, enjoy having arrived .....


.... and anytime you want to groan ,moan and bewail , we are here .

Welcome to NZ. :)

Re: cannot stop crying
 

KIA ORA :D

Re Your Grandson, Kids adapt to new situation very well... Thanks to internet & skype you can organize a fortnightly or monthly catch up where you get all updates and get to see him as well as rest of family.. It helps me :o)

Re Your Dad, I dont know the details but I feel you may be a bit harsh there... Nowadays, NZ is not so far from UK & Europe (thanks to all the airlines who are battling for our hard earned $)... I've not been here long, but met some "expats" who are going home every year or more frequently (or less)...

Enjoy settling in!

Re: cannot stop crying
 

WEL DONE YOU TWO!!!!

and welcome to NEW PLYMOUTH xxx its a beautiful place to live although been pretty windy today, hope your settling in okay, ill send you a private message with our contact details so we can arrange a get together for that beer!!!!

Andrea x:beer::drinkwine::beer::drinkwine::beer::drinkwin e::thumbsup:

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Great tip Tee...Thanx for that! So pleased that you are getting on great

This post has had me in bits....trying to read it out to hubby and crying at the same time. What am I like....:rofl: We are no way near to going yet but already feeling emotional....I will be a wreck by the time we do go. Hubby is giving me that pitying look....arse!

I do think however thats its a healthy emotion (well my excuse anyway). Its a grieving process.....leaving all you know and understand to start all over again especially when you are not a spring chicken:p

Big up :thumbsup:to all those that have been and are brave enough to give it a go.

Great to hear OP has landed. Good luck Hun:D

Re: cannot stop crying
 

I think most of us about to take that great leap into the unknown have been in bits reading this thread, I know I have, and probably those of you already there can easily relate to it. :(
There are plenty of tears around at the moment and thats just from us! ;)
Will it stop us coming over? Not in a million years :thumbsup: Its just another hurdle we have to get over isnt it?! ;)

Agree with everyone about the airport, we have already told everyone we dont want anybody to come to the airport with us, way too emotional for everyone concerned.

Re: cannot stop crying
 

Awww hugs & :thumbsup: Best wishes for your 'new life' lol B x