Bullys at work

Old Feb 2nd 2016, 4:10 am
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Default Bullys at work

Honestly this is the first time I have ever really seriously encountered this since I arrived in 2004. But it has been constant for months and months. I am being told constantly that how I talk is negative. I work in a shop and we laugh our way through the day, it's a very happy place to work.
But my manager seems to have a prob with me, she says she can't stand my negativity and she dreads coming into the shop!

I'm confused ... today she lured me up to the stockroom to discuss something else and she just attacked me personally. I obviously was shocked and was flumuxed. I told her that I thought she was bullying me and I told her what it was called was constructive dimisall ... at that she pulled faces at me and ran away!!!!!!!!??????
I sent her a text when I got back to the shop saying I was so upset at her personal attack that I was going home and having a mental health day but I would be in in the morning

I work in a shop, I have constant 100% mystery shopper reports but she is constantly telling me Im creating a negative air, I think Im just an easy target and there are other issues that lie deep.
Oh well just needed to vent, Ill go in tomorrow and do my job and hope things don't get toxic
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 4:28 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

can you have a chat with her and find out exactly what her problem is with you.?
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 5:19 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Just leave, she'll make your life a misery and no one has time for shit like that
Its a job, there are plenty of others, tell her to get f****d and go

Last edited by Justcol; Feb 2nd 2016 at 5:33 am.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 5:41 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

I love my job, I work in the airport at christchuch and the atmostphere is lovely. I hear such lovely happy stories from travellers that I'm not wanting to leave. I haven't ever come across this before but I totally am sure it's just because of how she percieves my accent.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 6:12 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

I would suggest trying to get some mediation. Doesn't need to be formal. Is there someone who can act as mediator and listen to both points of view?

I was appointed the role of mediator at one company. A guy had raised a grievance about another employee and I was asked to go in and sort it out. I got each person's point of view individually, then I met with them together. What was interesting was that each of them had misunderstood the intention of what was said (e.g. one thought that a comment was meant as sarcastic when in fact it wasn't). Once this was discussed they calmed down and were able to move past it.

Chances are she's misinterpreting your comments, and you may be overacting in turn. An independent person might be able to clarify what the issues really are and help to smooth ruffled feathers.

Always bear in mind, she may have other stuff going on in her life that is making her snappy and insensitive. It might not be about you at all!
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 6:55 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Carry a voice recorder with you at all times! Especially when you talk with her. You'll need evidence & witnesses for a tribunal if you cant sort it out. There are a lot of bullies in NZ and they seem to get away with it.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 7:40 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Originally Posted by Robbie2010 View Post
Carry a voice recorder with you at all times! Especially when you talk with her. You'll need evidence & witnesses for a tribunal if you cant sort it out. There are a lot of bullies in NZ and they seem to get away with it.
I'm going to do that from now on.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 6:30 pm
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Default Re: Bullys at work

I would work out first the legalities of recording people without their consent. You may end up in hot water. You could inform her you are recording all your conversations from now on, to see if she amends her behaviour. I would strongly suggest seeking advice and support from your Union. Write down every incident. Challenge them also, ask for evidence of their opinion. Bullies tend to be stupid so you might have to catch him/her out.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 6:42 pm
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Default Re: Bullys at work

I can see how threatening to record someone would be seen as confrontational on your part. Tread carefully. You could end up being accused of bullying yourself. Get advice if you can.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 7:10 pm
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Secret Voice Recordings

The Employee
The employee may, in certain circumstances, be permitted to use voice recordings obtained secretly:

The Employment Relations Authority must consider all the evidence even if some of it has been recorded secretly (Lee v System Controls Limited, ERA, May 2014). The Employment Court will conduct a balancing act and will ask if the importance of the information outweighs the secretive manner of its collection.

Although the Privacy Act (Principle 4) prohibits collection of information by unfair means, the Privacy Act does not apply to an individual who is collecting information for that individuals personal, family or household affairs. An individual could argue that his or her employment is an integral part of these affairs.
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Old Feb 2nd 2016, 10:59 pm
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Default Re: Bullys at work

"....in certain circumstances...."

Would be helpful to know what those "circumstances" are before you embark on any recording. I would seek professional advice first.
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Old Feb 3rd 2016, 5:27 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Originally Posted by dannigirl View Post
"....in certain circumstances...."

Would be helpful to know what those "circumstances" are before you embark on any recording. I would seek professional advice first.
Interestingly that extract refers to circumstances for the use of recordings, not the making of them.

I'd be inclined to make any recordings you choose to, if it goes pear-shaped then take advise on how you use those recordings.
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Old Feb 3rd 2016, 5:53 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

Have you had a look at Worksafe - they have some good resources on identifying and handling workplace bullying.

01 What is workplace bullying? | Worksafe

I came across this too, whilst looking for worksafe details.

10 tips for dealing with workplace bullying - Business - NZ Herald News

Hope you find something useful there in terms of how to stay safe and proceed with regards to documenting conversations and such like.
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Old Feb 3rd 2016, 6:47 am
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Default Re: Bullys at work

https://www.lawspot.org.nz/privacy/can-i-surreptitiously-record-a-conversation-if-i-want-proof-of

Just be careful! I think if it is bad enough for you to contemplate recording, then you need third party advice and support. Even if just for the sake of your mental health.

Sorry on phone not sure if link is coming up
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Old Feb 3rd 2016, 11:17 am
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Smile Re: Bullys at work

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
Just leave, she'll make your life a misery and no one has time for shit like that
Its a job, there are plenty of others, tell her to get f****d and go
Agreed. Seek new employment opportunities.

When people with a track record of success work with a manager who doesn't it's usually the will of the manager that prevails. One way or another you'll be seeking new employment in the near future anyway. There is no prize for enduring misery in the intervening time, misery will be your reward.
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