Black Eye
Nov 24th 2008, 1:11 pm
#1
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Black Eye
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?
Nov 24th 2008, 1:13 pm
#2
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Re: Black Eye
Probably not.
A friend, or close acquaintance yes. But I doubt a stranger would welcome the inquiry.
If it was domestic violence - she'd be unlikely to tell you. If it was an accident... well I guess you didn't need to know.
That said - I suppose you could say something besides a direct question - "oh ouch, that eye must have hurt" and see how she reacts.
Am I right - presuming you suspect violence and want to help?
A friend, or close acquaintance yes. But I doubt a stranger would welcome the inquiry.
If it was domestic violence - she'd be unlikely to tell you. If it was an accident... well I guess you didn't need to know.
That said - I suppose you could say something besides a direct question - "oh ouch, that eye must have hurt" and see how she reacts.
Am I right - presuming you suspect violence and want to help?
Nov 24th 2008, 1:18 pm
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Nov 24th 2008, 1:19 pm
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Nov 24th 2008, 1:22 pm
#7
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Re: Black Eye
If it is domestic violence (which is what I'm guessing you're worried about) women in such situations tend to be terribly terribly difficult to deal with. I know, because I used to do some domestic violence counseling with the men and the women.
If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.
Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.
If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.
If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.
Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.
If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:24 pm
#8
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Nov 24th 2008, 1:27 pm
#9
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Re: Black Eye
If it is domestic violence (which is what I'm guessing you're worried about) women in such situations tend to be terribly terribly difficult to deal with. I know, because I used to do some domestic violence counseling with the men and the women.
If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.
Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.
If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.
If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.
Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.
If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:31 pm
#10
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Re: Black Eye
I got a lovely shiner on Friday. But I was in the store yesterday and all these people (women) were looking at me and doing a miserable job at not making it obvious that that is what they were doing. But no one said a word, which surprised me a little because I think I would have said something like....ooh that's a pretty colour, or whatever, something glib.
The reason noone is asking, is because they're afraid it's because your husband beats you, and they don't know what to say. And are internally debating if they should try to save you from *the brute*.
Although, I wouldn't really comment upon anything physically wrong with a stranger, unless perhaps I was in a conversation with them - it would seem overly familiar I think.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:31 pm
#11
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Re: Black Eye
I would say the same thing to a man as to a woman ABY. I am not talking about striding across the veggie section and tapping said stranger on the shoulder and commenting....but if I happened to be stood next to someone I might say something.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:35 pm
#12
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Re: Black Eye
Ohhhh it's your eye. Do I want to ask???
The reason noone is asking, is because they're afraid it's because your husband beats you, and they don't know what to say. And are internally debating if they should try to save you from *the brute*.
Although, I wouldn't really comment upon anything physically wrong with a stranger, unless perhaps I was in a conversation with them - it would seem overly familiar I think.
The reason noone is asking, is because they're afraid it's because your husband beats you, and they don't know what to say. And are internally debating if they should try to save you from *the brute*.
Although, I wouldn't really comment upon anything physically wrong with a stranger, unless perhaps I was in a conversation with them - it would seem overly familiar I think.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:41 pm
#14
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Re: Black Eye
I didn't actually think your husband did it - I was just nosy
Nov 24th 2008, 1:44 pm
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