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Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:11 pm

Black Eye
 
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

Tracym Nov 24th 2008 1:13 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004075)
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

Probably not.

A friend, or close acquaintance yes. But I doubt a stranger would welcome the inquiry.

If it was domestic violence - she'd be unlikely to tell you. If it was an accident... well I guess you didn't need to know.

That said - I suppose you could say something besides a direct question - "oh ouch, that eye must have hurt" and see how she reacts.

Am I right - presuming you suspect violence and want to help?

Ray Nov 24th 2008 1:13 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004075)
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

Oh God ..it must be daft Monday ....

dbj1000 Nov 24th 2008 1:14 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004075)
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

I'm not sure, but I have a question in return:

What would you do if she told you?

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:18 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by dbj1000 (Post 7004084)
I'm not sure, but I have a question in return:

What would you do if she told you?

Depends on what she told me.

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:19 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Ray (Post 7004080)
Oh God ..it must be daft Monday ....

Nah Ray, it was daft Friday!

Tracym Nov 24th 2008 1:22 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004092)
Depends on what she told me.

If it is domestic violence (which is what I'm guessing you're worried about) women in such situations tend to be terribly terribly difficult to deal with. I know, because I used to do some domestic violence counseling with the men and the women.

If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.

Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.

If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.

another bloody yank Nov 24th 2008 1:24 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004075)
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

Would you ask a man (stranger) how he got a black eye?

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:27 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Tracym (Post 7004103)
If it is domestic violence (which is what I'm guessing you're worried about) women in such situations tend to be terribly terribly difficult to deal with. I know, because I used to do some domestic violence counseling with the men and the women.

If she's not ready to leave - she probably wouldn't tell you.
Even if she told you, it'd be very hard to get her to do something about it.

Now, she could be the exception - and be willing to talk to a stranger, and take action. But this would be rare.

If that is your concern - I suppose you could get a pamphlet from an agency that does domestic violence work and leave it where she could find it. Perhaps better odds of helping than a direct question.

I got a lovely shiner on Friday. But I was in the store yesterday and all these people (women) were looking at me and doing a miserable job at not making it obvious that that is what they were doing. But no one said a word, which surprised me a little because I think I would have said something like....ooh that's a pretty colour, or whatever, something glib.

Tracym Nov 24th 2008 1:31 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004123)
I got a lovely shiner on Friday. But I was in the store yesterday and all these people (women) were looking at me and doing a miserable job at not making it obvious that that is what they were doing. But no one said a word, which surprised me a little because I think I would have said something like....ooh that's a pretty colour, or whatever, something glib.

Ohhhh it's your eye. Do I want to ask???

The reason noone is asking, is because they're afraid it's because your husband beats you, and they don't know what to say. And are internally debating if they should try to save you from *the brute*.

Although, I wouldn't really comment upon anything physically wrong with a stranger, unless perhaps I was in a conversation with them - it would seem overly familiar I think.

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:31 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by another bloody yank (Post 7004109)
Would you ask a man (stranger) how he got a black eye?

I would say the same thing to a man as to a woman ABY. I am not talking about striding across the veggie section and tapping said stranger on the shoulder and commenting....but if I happened to be stood next to someone I might say something.

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:35 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Tracym (Post 7004139)
Ohhhh it's your eye. Do I want to ask???

The reason noone is asking, is because they're afraid it's because your husband beats you, and they don't know what to say. And are internally debating if they should try to save you from *the brute*.

Although, I wouldn't really comment upon anything physically wrong with a stranger, unless perhaps I was in a conversation with them - it would seem overly familiar I think.

Totally self inflicted in front of a fairly large crown of 3 and 4 year olds. Hit it on the van door, got a nice "gash" and a good size lump. It hurt like buggery about 10 minutes after the fact and today it looks like I went a bit mental with the make-up brush.

TruBrit Nov 24th 2008 1:36 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004075)
Would you ask a woman (stranger) how she got a black eye?

i'd probably bid her good day by smiling and saying aye aye :rofl:

Tracym Nov 24th 2008 1:41 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Janek66 (Post 7004156)
Totally self inflicted in front of a fairly large crown of 3 and 4 year olds. Hit it on the van door, got a nice "gash" and a good size lump. It hurt like buggery about 10 minutes after the fact and today it looks like I went a bit mental with the make-up brush.

Yowie. Does not sound like fun at all.

I didn't actually think your husband did it - I was just nosy :D

Janek66 Nov 24th 2008 1:44 pm

Re: Black Eye
 

Originally Posted by Tracym (Post 7004180)
Yowie. Does not sound like fun at all.

I didn't actually think your husband did it - I was just nosy :D

LOL my husband told my step son he did it!

The woman bagging the groceries was itching to say something.


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