Damson

For balance:

I Used to love going to Devon and Cornwall, hell, even Weston-Super-(night)-Mare. However, the last two times I have been I've been stuck in massive tailbacks, one of them 6 miles. I hate the fact that when I get there I get motion sickness from driving round and round trying to find a (usually tiny) parking space that costs a fiver for the day. Then settling down in the metre square bit of space I can find on the beach just in time for the sun to disappear behind clouds. I hate that everything on piers cost a fortune; we got through £30 last time. All take away coffee is £2.50.

I caught the train to the millennium stadium in Cardiff for the rugby past year. I spent the entire journey crammed into a carriage, standing up, with my face in someone's armpit. A lady was carried off the train by the weight of people leaving at the stop before hers and was screaming to be let back on as her luggage was still on the train - no exaggeration.

I don't go into town for a drink anymore as it just isn't safe.

Last of all, there are just too many people here on our tiny island and it feels so claustrophobic.

What I'm trying to say guys is don't be seduced by the rolling countryside (what isn't being built on that is!) memories. If it helps, remember that the UK is a great country, but has many, many drawbacks. It may help to recall them when having a really down day.

This is absolutely not belittling homesickness which is an absolute killer I know.

Sparkleydiva

Of course not

BEVS

To be honest. That sort of post doesn't really do anything for anyone feeling wretched, other than it telling them what you personally don't like about the UK. That's not a balance. It is your own PoV .

It isn't about faux memories of rolling countryside at all. It never is TBH.

Most of us are from the UK. Many of us have been in NZ for years. Many of us have made journeys to the UK in that time, just as TomH has done.

What we find is that the place hasn't gone to the dawgs at all but is still the same place really that it always was, warts and all.

The difference being that there is more appreciation for what was left behind and perhaps even less appreciation for what one thought they had gained which may not add up to that much overall.

I know what you mean totally. I do hope it fades off for you soon.

Sparkleydiva

I agree its not about looking at the UK with rose tinted glasses now we have been here for years, but for me is the innate sense of belonging that I just dont have here

moving2NZ2013

100% agree

scrubbedexpat094

Totally agree with BEVS and Sparkleydiva. Lots of conflicting emotions, that feeling of not - belonging in the place you are - it's quite complex and there's no magic solution.

moving2NZ2013

To be honest I thought I'd be the last person to be home sick. Def don't feel I belong here. I'm happy enough here but I do have that feeling I'll never call this place home

Damson

[QUOTE=BEVS;11748759]To be honest. That sort of post doesn't really do anything for anyone feeling wretched, other than it telling them what you personally don't like about the UK. That's not a balance. It is your own PoV .

It isn't about faux memories of rolling countryside at all. It never is TBH.

Most of us are from the UK. Many of us have been in NZ for years. Many of us have made journeys to the UK in that time, just as TomH has done.

What we find is that the place hasn't gone to the dawgs at all but is still the same place really that it always was, warts and all.

The difference being that there is more appreciation for what was left behind and perhaps even less appreciation for what one thought they had gained which may not add up to that much overall.

Nah, not me. I love my country which is why we've cancelled emigrating twice in the past. In fact I'm very often the one defending it from the moaners. It certainly hasn't gone to the dogs as you say, but there are faults the same as there are there. I just thought it would be helpful to remember.

If/when we move it will be when the timing is right and because we want to try something different.

Sorry it may not help and I certainly wouldn't want to make things worse; it's in my make up to want to help.

I do sincerely hope that the pain eases for those with this awful problem.

Sparkleydiva

I was the same, i loved the first five years, but when the homesickness hit, it has been hard to overcome and im still not there yet. Belonging seems to become more important to me the older i get, but hopefully will be addressing it next year

JaneRiley

Imagine how those poor refugees must be feeling. I often wonder how the first waves of British people felt when they got off the ships in NZ. Flipping relieved and glad to be alive I expect but then knowing you could never leave must have hurt. Anyone know of a good social history about the early settlers I can get hold of? It fascinates me. (Being serious here not my often flippant self)