Sam13

Thankyou all so much for your replies, it's so kind of you to share your experiences. There is a lot of guilt around our house at the moment from friends and family, something I'm sure everyone of you must have encountered at some point, it makes the decision incredibly hard to make once and for all.

We don't lead an awful life here, we're not in a terrible area, I just find where we are very claustrophobic, and the changes to rules, policies and constant fear of medical negligence in my job as a children's nurse over the last few years have made an amazing job, suffocating. And I would love for my kids (the 13 year old especially) to not feel this awful pressure that they do to look perfect when they go out the door, to not feel embarrassed if they don't have the right designer label on. I'm sure I have an element of the grass is always greener syndrome, but I read so many times that kids can be kids for longer over there, that's ultimately what I want (need), aside from loving NZ when we've visited. Thankyou again!

Moses2013

It's a pipe dream that your kids can be kids for longer in New Zealand and again depends on the location/their education and personality. Auckland could be a lot tougher than where you are now. I can't comment on UK these days but I see kids being kids in Ireland too and there's obviously a huge difference if they grow up in a rough part of Dublin, or a nice rural part of Galway & Mayo. And even in the City kids can be kids.

Spacecake799

I would just add to that. We came from a town in the Midlands and they never felt that. Its been the same since moving to Yorkshire on our return.
I loved the thought in NZ my kids could be kids for longer. By the time my son reached year 6 i was so fed up with how childish the kids were. I longed for the kids to behave more grown up.
Just my thoughts

Genesis

I think its the case kids are kids longer pretty much all over NZ. That is what I hear people say who are from different places.

Yeah I am sure there are pockets of the country where it may not be so. But kids have way less pressure here (apart from some stupid parents who bully their kids to do well in sports).

My kids have had, IMO, a far superior life here than they would ever have had in the UK. They had a big pool to enjoy for the 1st 8 years of their lives and that is something they would never have had in the UK.

In spite of all the issues that prevail in this country I still reckon its one of the best places to bring up small kids. Sure they will want to leave when they are young adults. And why not. NZ is very parochial and any young adult with a sense of adventure will feel the need to get away. Good on them too.

Moses2013

It's great if it has been more positive for your kids but I just can't see what difference it would make. I see plenty of pools and trampolines in gardens here and it doesn't cost the world to have a pool these days.




You were probably just not in the right part of the UK or never actually thought about a pool. It's the same when people say they had a sauna in Finland but don't have one in the UK.

Assanah

I hear British in Germany say that kids can be kids longer in Germany as well. Not sure if that is true. How would you be measuring that? But to put NZ that far up above other countries for raising kids seems to be odd in my view. Maybe Kiwis have more swimming pools than Germans (in fact I am pretty sure that this is true ), but what about kids who don't want to swim or fish or hunt? What about kids who would like to learn acrobatics, Japanese sword fencing, be a Flamenco dancer or actually like intellectual stimulation? I think that Europe offers a far greater range of hobbies for kids.

Moses2013

I really don't know how people measure it. I went to school in Germany and like anywhere you'd have kids with hair on their chest and some never got any. Some kids would smoke and some would drink beer. In our area people didn't really have pools at the time but there was a large Freibad open between May and September.




Here I see kids horse riding, play soccer, hurling, rugby and as we're not far from the coast surfing is very popular.

bourbon-biscuit

I think there's some truth that in general kids have a little less consumer pressure in NZ BUT (and it's a big but) I think this comes down to the fact that most of the population of the UK is urbanised and a good proportion of it is densely populated, whereas outside of Auckland, central Welly, and Chch I think most kids are living a much less urban existence than kids outside of UK centres. The second factor at play is that NZ is poorer with poorer infrastructure, again in general. In practical terms this means a surprising number of kids live in NZ rarely visiting cities (I mean real cities, not Hastings) and without internet at home. Finally, I think in NZ there's a residual respect for mend-and-make-do (much less so in urban area though) that takes pressure off having the latest and greatest - again, this really does vary. But these are all generalisations and what you actually experience may vary hugely.

But I also think a huge factor in the extent that kids feel consumer and lifestyle pressures is to do with families and how they function: you could probably get what you're looking for and remain in the UK.

I regret trading my children's relationships with extended family for a superficially better quality of life. I will never agree that having a back yard pool can be an adequate replacement for grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles but of course this depends on what family they actually have in the UK!

My kids recently spent five weeks in the UK with family. Loved it all. Eloquent nineteen year old told us she feels culturally British but spiritually of the Southern Hemisphere. I get what she means. She says she will always feel sad to have grown up away from family. I get what she means there too.

My biggest regret isn't that we came to NZ but that we didn't plan to come to NZ for two years as a family adventure and then head home.

Kotare

....number of kids... without internet at home..

Internet connections (% of population) - UK 92%, NZ 90%, so that doesn't stand up but agree that the make and mend attitude and less rules based culture in NZ means that kids get more practical hands on experience with most things.

Genesis

[QUOTE


I regret trading my children's relationships with extended family for a superficially better quality of life. I will never agree that having a back yard pool can be an adequate replacement for grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles but of course this depends on what family they actually have in the UK!

.[/QUOTE]

I was prepared, fully, to give up my kids relationships with extended family. That is a given if you move to NZ permanently. We were not that close a family, hardly saw each other and there is practically a generation betwixt my kids and their cousins. I grew up with no extended family at all. None. Did me no harm. The pool was just a nice residual of moving to NZ. I would never suggest anyone gives up a meaningful relationship with extended family for something like a pool.

bourbon-biscuit

I don't think many potential migrants realise that it is pretty much a given if you move permanently though; I know we didn't realise. We all think, "oh, the world is so much smaller with technology these days", and "they'll be able to come out to visit for actual quality time with them", and "they don't see much of them now as it is", etc., etc.

Growing up without any extended family is very different from growing up far from extended family who love you very much and have much to offer.

I get that the pool was a nice residual. Lots of things about growing up in NZ are lovely

Genesis

My family back in the UK are just that...in the UK. I had zero expectation that they would come, even if we got on I would not have expected them to come. Why should they? I did this move for my family, my three kids and my then wife. My family did not feature in any thoughts whatsoever! I have my life and they have theirs. And the twain rarely met!!! I would not change a thing..except maybe choice of wife!!!!

valleygurl

Aye Northamptonshire isn't that bad lol.. we've been here for 7 months from Thrapston Northants, and haven't looked back once! Although this is our 2nd time!! 1st time we went home got divorced re-kindled and came back.What part of Northampton are you from and where in NZ are you now? We are in New Plymouth and love it wouldn't go back if someone paid!

Assanah

Are you prepared to accept that you will not feature in any of your children's thoughts once they start to have their own family and move to where ever they want and do whatever they want?

Kotare

This sounds fairly normal for kids whatever country you live in :-)