weebossyboots

Our house is up for sale (at probably the worst time in about 20ys!) and we are hoping to move to NZ as soon as it is sold.

My question is: Is emmigrating always this stressful. Haven't felt myself since a couple of days after the house went up for sale. I seem to have had a sense of humour by-pass and blow the littlest things out of proportion and am mucho mucho less tollerant of the folk I love.

Is it just me or is this a normal part of the process. Am I intentionally distancing myself? Is it normal to be stressed to the hilt?

I know it's a bit of an emotional query but feel like a bit of elastic stretched to the limit

annbee

I can so relate to all that you are saying (except havent had to sell a house, we live in married quarters), removals coming next thursday and friday, youngest has had her first day at school todayi have never felt so stressed and edgy in my life, just waiting for the day when we sit on the plane and head to NZ via LA and know that there is nothing more that i can do. I am forever biting people heads off over the silliest thing:curse:

Hope it gets less stressful for you when you sell the house

GOOD LUCK

Annxxxx

sarahw

Sound quite normal to me. Your whole life gets turned upside down and even once you've moved to NZ it takes some time to feel settled. With me it took perhaps 12-18 months!

Hang in there as it's definitely worth it!

Good luck

P2L

Morning weebossyboots

I can honestly say, having more or less come out the other side of the whole process, that life as you know it will never be quite the same again

You are only at the beginning of the whole immigration lark, so please for the sake of your sanity ( and your family!) pace yourself.

You will learn patience, diplomacy and organisational skills beyond anything you ever thought possible. You will have lists, and lists of lists and learn the biggest load of useless information in the shortest amonut of time.

But never fear, through it all, we are lurking about. Use us & abuse us! We have been where you are now, so understand completey the emotions that range from been petrified to shouting your happiness from the rooftops. We can guide you through that minefield that is NZIS, tell you how to get here, who to use to get you here, where to buy the best sausages. When everyone else around you is bored stupid of hearing the words 'New Zealand' we'll still be here.

Good Luck with it all. Oh and if all else fails,alcohol & chocolate work everytime

garryhg

. hi jacky g here
yep,sorry to say it is
can remember thinking when we were still in scotland are we going to survive this,its puts so much pressure on your whole family...
and sorry to say settling in is just as stressfull.
we have now been here about 2 months and only just starting to live stress free.but feel kind of pleased with myself that we have overcome all these hurdles that were thrown at us.

i think we have gone through every emotion known to man this passed few weeks.but i now feel really privelaged to have been given this experience of living in nz.
theres so many people sitting back home would love to have this oppertunity but its just not possible for them..

keep your chin up,what you feel is perfectly normal and trust me,it will pass.
but be prepared probably not till your here.

hope your goodbyes are not to painfull
if you have read any of my previous posts you will see i have gone from I WANT TO GO HOME,to wow what an experience.
trust me if i can do this,anyone can

Wilma & co

Nothing else to say really!! Take a deep breath, try and remember all the reasons for making the move and try to go with the flow!! Things will go wrong, take longer than expected and not go the way you had planned but you will get through it and make it to the Southern hemisphere! Oh, and remember to talk - to your family, friends and us!! A problem shared is a problem halved!!
Sending some calming karma your way!!

ned

Well I am a little stressed
If everyone else just played the game
We would all be a little happier

ned

Has anyone a cure for twitching

TeamEmbo

Great posts Sarah and Jacky

Nothing more to add really weebossyboots, other than once you've come out this side you'll be well qualified to walk on hot coals whilst juggling 6 sharp knives blindfold and be able to keep 20 plates spinning on poles, all at the same time. Although I'm not too sure that's on the ISSL

dlmckay

I used my emigration experience in a job interview when we first arrived

They asked if I could multi-task, handling stressful situations in tight time frames. I said I'd had a baby, rehomed 4 cats and a dog, sold my house, exported 3 cats and a dog, emigrated with three young children and organised my husband's paperwork and visas in five months.

I got the job!

dash1965

Sounds about right to me..

But if you start to doubt whether you've made a mistake or can't cope with the pressure, head off to an area in the UK where you really can't stand and then think about all the reasons you're emigrating...

We did that everytime we doubted our move and headed off to some real Sh*tholes and realised why we were moving. I grew up in Moss Side in Manchester too so I can compare good and bad. When I felt low (not now I'm in NZ) I went to have a look round some dodgy areas and there are plenty there in and around the UK...

And before anyone pipes up from the NZ community... I KNOW there are dodgy areas here too... I don't have rose coloured spectacles..

Good luck with everything.....

It is worth it...

Dave

karonious

My turn weebossyboots
There is an element of separation going on. You are probably subconsciously distancing yourself from those you will leave behind and going through a form of grieving.
Sorry, this seems to be turning into a lecture but bear with me!

Denial : :we can't possibly emigrate. We can't leave all our loved ones behind and bugger off on a selfish adventure"
Anger : "Why is this all so difficult, stressful, upsetting?"
Bargaining : "We will let the house go for £1000's less than it is worth, just let us get out of here."
Depression : "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance : "It's finally happening!!

These are the accepted stages of grieving- do they seem in any way familiar??

Karen B

I_Will_Freckle

I think the stress is just par for the course. If your relationship can stand the stress of moving across the world I think you've cracked it.

I've been having good days and bad days - the worst was one night when I thought i was having a heart attack. But I've survived and I'm smiling now,

Lenmil

Take a deep breath then shout out loud YEEHH HHAAAAA ain't this fun. Yes it's hard bloody hard, no one knows how hard until they do it.

weebossyboots

Thank you everyone. Sitting in floods of tears (i think they are good ones!) reading your replies! The comfort of strangers is an old, but true, cliche.

My family and friends are going through their own stuff and have their own difficulties coping with this sh#t so it's hard to explain to them how I feel. (they go between thinking I am privileged to being selfish) Its definitely a 'stages' process (was excited, now just crazy/loopy/ needing locked up stage) and it's lovely having all you experienced people around to help.

Thank you