Advice needed...

Old Aug 11th 2016, 12:26 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by simonsi View Post
, frankly I'd expect and hope that a court wouldn't support the move against the father's wishes.
Hopefully if it does go to court I hope the court does what is best for the long term benefit of the child and nothing more.

Last edited by BEVS; Aug 19th 2016 at 4:02 am. Reason: quotes
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Old Aug 11th 2016, 1:39 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by MrsFychan View Post
.... Hopefully if it does go to court I hope the court does what is best for the long term benefit of the child and nothing more.
But under pretty much all circumstances other than (i) the non-custodial parent being abusive to the child, or (ii) the non-custodial parent having gone AWOL, the court is going to rule that the continued participation of both parents in the life of the child is going to be in the child's best interests.
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Old Aug 11th 2016, 2:52 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

at the end of the day it is a judges decision when he has amassed all the evidence he needs to ascertain where the best place for the child would be, with any proviso he attaches to it.
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Old Aug 11th 2016, 2:58 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by MrsFychan View Post
Hopefully if it does go to court I hope the court does what is best for the long term benefit of the child and nothing more.
Yes. And typically (now), that involves ongoing interaction with both parents unless that contact is being detrimental to the child, that is the normal view for the best interests of the child.
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Old Aug 17th 2016, 10:25 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by rachelm89 View Post
Thanks for reply, he does see her every other weekend although i have said we are willing to fky back to the uk once a year with her so he can still see her & also skype etc. I guess im keeping my hopes up abit.
Are you sure you would be able to afford that? It's a huge ask on Kiwi wages.

Originally Posted by rachelm89 View Post
She is 9 in september, we did have a court order in place from a few years ago for contact which he swapped around & hasnt stuck to. So im hoping that will go in our favour. Im in no way wanting to stop him having contact with her as i no its important for her to see him. I dont no the ins & outs of it properly though so just wondering what will happen. Thanks.
I'm afraid that the reality is that if you move her to NZ then she will see less of him and her relationship with him will be impacted.


Originally Posted by MrsFychan View Post
at the end of the day it is a judges decision when he has amassed all the evidence he needs to ascertain where the best place for the child would be, with any proviso he attaches to it.
Or SHE.

As someone who migrated ten years ago I look at my kids and their relationships with their loving and interested wider family and I can see they have lost out big time. They face adult lives out here with very little family around them. This is no small thing and the burden of knowing this can be quite heavy. I really didn't understand the magnitude of this when we migrated. I do now and I think we probably did the wrong thing choosing adventure, lifestyle, and weather over family connections. I can't imagine adding a parent into the tally of weakened and impacted relationships. That's not "mudslinging", it's just my experience and perspective a decade into this game ...
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Old Aug 18th 2016, 8:27 pm
  #36  
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You raise a good point BB. Children can miss out on rich family connections with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
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Old Aug 18th 2016, 8:53 pm
  #37  
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Originally Posted by jmh View Post
You raise a good point BB. Children can miss out on rich family connections with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
I agree completely. I have a daughter in NZ with her husband and a young child. As a family there, they are very happy, but as she says, their boy has no other family members within a reasonable distance, and if he's lucky, he gets to see his grandad once a year and that's it.
I left the UK many years ago, for adventure, weather, salary etc, and have really enjoyed it, but I left a very big family , aunts uncles , cousins, and have no contact with them at all now, as we live different lives and vacation visits are not the same. Now, getting on in years, I have to say, I wish to some extent, that I had remained there, as family is a very important feature in life.
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 1:32 am
  #38  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by jmh View Post
You raise a good point BB. Children can miss out on rich family connections with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
That was one of the driving forces for me and my children to move here,we have a huge family here and only a couple of cousins 15 to 20 years older than them in UK.
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 7:26 am
  #39  
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Update for everyone
I have spoken to my solicitor who says we will definately get access for her to leave the country. As her welfare isnt in jepordy & im still allowing some sort of access.
However. Me & my husband have decided to stay in the uk now as, like alot of you say, the ties with family & my daughters dad wont be the same.
We are going to wait until she is of age (16) & see how everything pans out then.
Thanks everyone for all your input its very much appreciated 😀
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 8:53 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Advice needed...

Originally Posted by rachelm89 View Post
Update for everyone
I have spoken to my solicitor who says we will definately get access for her to leave the country. As her welfare isnt in jepordy & im still allowing some sort of access.😀
He said you definitely would get permission???? How the heck can he say that???
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 10:06 am
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Originally Posted by j19fmm View Post
He said you definitely would get permission???? How the heck can he say that???
Yes he said we will get to new zealand. He said it may get dragged out & cost me more if the father persist but he said as it would be beneficial for my daughter & us to improve our lifestyle he said we would be allowed. He was very confident about it. I was very surprised too as everyone on here was sure it wouldnt be allowed.
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 10:17 am
  #42  
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Originally Posted by rachelm89 View Post
Yes he said we will get to new zealand. He said it may get dragged out & cost me more if the father persist but he said as it would be beneficial for my daughter & us to improve our lifestyle he said we would be allowed. He was very confident about it. I was very surprised too as everyone on here was sure it wouldnt be allowed.
Wow! That is one confident solicitor! How many of these cases has he taken on before? And how many with success?
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Old Aug 19th 2016, 11:23 am
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Originally Posted by j19fmm View Post
Wow! That is one confident solicitor! How many of these cases has he taken on before? And how many with success?
Quiet a few with the mothers he said that was successful & he just had a case where he represented the father but lost & the mother got to take the children. The mother was back in 8 months however he said so was pointless!
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Old Aug 20th 2016, 12:34 am
  #44  
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and how on earth can he say that it would be beneficial to the child.
sorry in my experience our day to day here is not as good as it was in the UK. And kids soon get bored of the words, who wants to go to the beach then/who wants to go climb a hill?

I would ask him for a money back guarantee on that
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Old Aug 20th 2016, 1:08 am
  #45  
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Hmmm I'm curious to know exactly how this solicitor would plan to execute all of this. A young girl who still sees her father semi-regularly and still has an input in her life (albeit not always a good influence so we are told, but the contact is still there) can just disappear across the other side of the world without barely seeing her again? No no, something doesn't add up here and I fear you may have been spun a yarn but this solicitor. He possibly needs to go and read up on The Hague Convention

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