Advice needed...

Old Jul 31st 2016, 1:04 pm
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Hi there,
First time posting on here so hi everyone 😁 needing abit of advice with regards to visas, im sure its been asked before though.
My husbands a bricklayer by trade & has been offered a job in northland auckland so im wondering if a work to residency visa would be best? Also not sure if anyone knowd this but i have a daughter who is from a previous relationship who i want to bring with me, my ex is not allowing her to so i will have to apply to court. Does anyone no how much longer the whole process will take with us having to do this first?
Thanks all.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 1:13 pm
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It's not a question of time, it's a question of if it's possible. If your ex is even vaguely engaged in your daughter's life you are highly unlikely to be able to persuade a court to grant a court order.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 1:28 pm
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Thanks for reply, he does see her every other weekend although i have said we are willing to fky back to the uk once a year with her so he can still see her & also skype etc. I guess im keeping my hopes up abit.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 3:20 pm
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Not a situation I have been in, but knowing you could see your daughter in an emergency within hours is a bit different from being two (very expensive) days travel away. I assume that he can Skype her now as well so that isn't much of a concession.

How old is she? That again makes a difference.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 3:33 pm
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Originally Posted by LittleGreyCat View Post
Not a situation I have been in, but knowing you could see your daughter in an emergency within hours is a bit different from being two (very expensive) days travel away. I assume that he can Skype her now as well so that isn't much of a concession.

How old is she? That again makes a difference.
She is 9 in september, we did have a court order in place from a few years ago for contact which he swapped around & hasnt stuck to. So im hoping that will go in our favour. Im in no way wanting to stop him having contact with her as i no its important for her to see him. I dont no the ins & outs of it properly though so just wondering what will happen. Thanks.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 4:29 pm
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Not 100% as I can't really remember the ins and outs after my divorce, but I think it all comes down to the level of parental responsibility he has in his daughters life ?
I'd agree that there may not be a court in the land that would purposely grant an order to sever contact between a child and a parent even if there is only the remotest of contact between them.
Being willing to fly back to the UK once per year just isn't reasonable. If you were here you'd quickly realize how impossible that decision will be to carry out in reality since the cost of that travel and the time it takes to do it are both so high and impractical long term.
You say you don't want him to stop having contact with her, but don't you see that moving her 18000 KM's East is doing exactly that. You can't argue to a court that substituting that with Skype is reasonable? When we left for NZ we said to our families that we'd Skype all the time but in reality it doesn't happen as often as you think it will or should. It gets in the way of life. You have to set aside time to do it. The time difference is an issue. Often Skype doesn't play that well.

In my experience you'd be much better off trying to persuade him to sign a declaration that allows her to leave with you instead of trying to force the issue, getting his back up and him fighting you all the way through court. High costs for the courts time and solicitors plus many months of gathering documents and evidence in an attempt to sway the court in your favour.
Could he agree for her to leave temporarily for say 2 years instead of him thinking it is permanent?
Could he also travel to NZ and lead a life of his own here so he has access to his daughter?
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 4:57 pm
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Originally Posted by escapedtonz View Post
Not 100% as I can't really remember the ins and outs after my divorce, but I think it all comes down to the level of parental responsibility he has in his daughters life ?
I'd agree that there may not be a court in the land that would purposely grant an order to sever contact between a child and a parent even if there is only the remotest of contact between them.
Being willing to fly back to the UK once per year just isn't reasonable. If you were here you'd quickly realize how impossible that decision will be to carry out in reality since the cost of that travel and the time it takes to do it are both so high and impractical long term.
You say you don't want him to stop having contact with her, but don't you see that moving her 18000 KM's East is doing exactly that. You can't argue to a court that substituting that with Skype is reasonable? When we left for NZ we said to our families that we'd Skype all the time but in reality it doesn't happen as often as you think it will or should. It gets in the way of life. You have to set aside time to do it. The time difference is an issue. Often Skype doesn't play that well.

In my experience you'd be much better off trying to persuade him to sign a declaration that allows her to leave with you instead of trying to force the issue, getting his back up and him fighting you all the way through court. High costs for the courts time and solicitors plus many months of gathering documents and evidence in an attempt to sway the court in your favour.
Could he agree for her to leave temporarily for say 2 years instead of him thinking it is permanent?
Could he also travel to NZ and lead a life of his own here so he has access to his daughter?

Thanks so much for your insight. He sees her once every other week or sometimes if not that, he sees her once a month. He has his own family now in a town away from us so i doubt he would move over to new zealand. Its such a fantastic oppurtunity for us as a family to move over which is why i thought id ask. Do i have to get him to sign a declaration before or after submitting for our visas? I could maybe try talking to him again as my daughter is excited about it! I no it would be very difficult going from seeing her now to skyping etc. Argh such a hard situation to be in. Thank you for your reply.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 4:58 pm
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Originally Posted by escapedtonz View Post
..... In my experience you'd be much better off trying to persuade him to sign a declaration that allows her to leave with you instead of trying to force the issue, getting his back up and him fighting you all the way through court. High costs for the courts time and solicitors plus many months of gathering documents and evidence in an attempt to sway the court in your favour.
Could he agree for her to leave temporarily for say 2 years instead of him thinking it is permanent? ....
I think this is good advice, but I suspect that after two years the daughter would be ordinarily resident in NZ, and that going through the legal process to enforce the return to the UK after 2 years would be expensive, and not even certain to succeed. If I was the girls father I absolutely would not agree to a "temporary" two years removal, and if I was a solicitor advising the father, I would definitely recommend against accepting such a proposal.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 5:01 pm
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Was just thinking about options and not really whether they were feasible.

There's a page on here about this subject

Can You Emigrate With Children After a Divorce? | British Expatriate Community
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 5:03 pm
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The reason I asked about age is that it is possible for a child to fly unaccompanied with some airlines on some flights.

This would give additional options such as letting your daughter fly to the UK once or twice a year for a reasonable period and stay with her father, worked out around school terms. This would also be cheaper than you all flying over.

However it looks as though she would have to be at least 12 before she could fly long haul to the UK unaccompanied.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 5:13 pm
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Originally Posted by LittleGreyCat View Post
The reason I asked about age is that it is possible for a child to fly unaccompanied with some airlines on some flights.

This would give additional options such as letting your daughter fly to the UK once or twice a year for a reasonable period and stay with her father, worked out around school terms. This would also be cheaper than you all flying over.

However it looks as though she would have to be at least 12 before she could fly long haul to the UK unaccompanied.

Yeah i checked that too, not sure i would like her to fly by herself for such a long time even if she was 12 or over haha. The issues with costing wouldnt be a problem i dont think however.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 8:05 pm
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I personally would not pay out for visa's unless you have the go ahead to bring you daughter or the other option is that your daughter stays with her father and you skype and come back over to UK to see, as you are proposing for the father.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 9:49 pm
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Originally Posted by rachelm89 View Post
Hi there,
First time posting on here so hi everyone � ���� needing abit of advice with regards to visas, im sure its been asked before though.
My husbands a bricklayer by trade & has been offered a job in northland auckland so im wondering if a work to residency visa would be best? Also not sure if anyone knowd this but i have a daughter who is from a previous relationship who i want to bring with me, my ex is not allowing her to so i will have to apply to court. Does anyone no how much longer the whole process will take with us having to do this first?
Thanks all.
If your ex does not agree to his child emigrating to New Zealand, then yes, you will need to apply to the court. However, from what I have read on this forum over the years , you guys are going to have a very uphill battle.
It will involve not just the court but probably also CARFASS.

The best bet here is to attempt to persuade him to agree. Mediation may help with this.

I will ping someone who may be willing to give you an outline of the process.

Last edited by BEVS; Jul 31st 2016 at 10:21 pm. Reason: weird post blip
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 9:54 pm
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Here is an old thread called Step Children.

It is long and a fair few years old , however you may be interested to read through it.

Last edited by BEVS; Jul 31st 2016 at 10:24 pm. Reason: argh . too cold to think.
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Old Jul 31st 2016, 10:24 pm
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Originally Posted by BEVS View Post
Here is an old thread about this . click the bold type.

As you page down through the posts, you will see a couple of other links to older threads.

They will be worth a read even though they are several years old.

Thanks so much for posting these! New to all this so nice to have people wanting to help.
Ive spoken again to my daughters dad & he is still adamant he will not allow her to leave the country, i suggested him to allow her for 1 year & he said no. Im kind of coming to the conclusion now that as he still jas access to her we wont be allowed to take her. I would never be able to leave her with my ex as she is with me all the time. Thinking after reading the comments from everyone now we are hoping for her to be allowed but we wont get allowed. I told her dad last monday we was thinking of it & he hasnt seen her since, even though it was his weekend for contact (he was busy with his girlfriend). Things like this happen all the time or he is late picking her up etc.
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