Bo-Jangles

I can only echo what Bevs said - my thoughts are with anyone that was affected by that dreadful day.

We usually think most of those that have passed, without thinking so much of the those that are left behind, the injured and those that are otherwise deeply affected by the events that day - so thanks for sharing your story Bladedownunder.

I was travelling across London that day and remember the chaos and how terrifying it all was for everyone hearing the breaking news, as the story trickled thorough and the gravity of the situation unfolded.

Just dreadful.

irishbloo

Can't believe it has been nine years.I hope it brings you some comfort sharing your experience and eases some of the pain.I hope life continues to get better for you and that you can keep moving forward.Sympathies to all those that lost and to have suffered.x

old.sparkles

Thank you for sharing your story BDU - I hope being down under helps but (((hugs))) for today and any day you need it

Shard

Thank you for sharing your story BDU, we will all remember such a personal account, and in some way, the young lady to whom you offered the seat.

I have no sympathy for the bombers, and disagree with that notion, but that's another debate for another day.

Interesting that Ken Livingstone keeps in contact with you and to hear your personal opinion of him. I listen to him on LBC and, politics aside, he seems a decent guy.

How much longer did you stay in London, and was the bombing the event that triggered your move to Australia?

Shirtback

+ 1.

Thank you for sharing this.

S

Hawkmoon77

BDU - I don't know how much this means from somebody you have never met (and probably never will) but you are hero for going through that and not letting it destroy your life. My thoughts and best wishes to all the victims of that horrible day.

Visiting the mosque was the right thing to do.

Greenhill

After a really horrific MVA I was involved in, about four years ago, I suffered from PTSD which manifested as insomnia and flashbacks (lots of them, every day).

Approximately 15 months after the accident, I met with a pain specialist doctor (regarding the neuropathic pain that I was suffering from the injuries I sustained in the accident). This doctor prescribed a cocktail of large doses of amitriptylene, Lyrica and Cymbalta. I was already using a quantity of amitriptylene to help me sleep and had tried Lyrica previously (and pretty much everything else available) but it didn't seem to help at all.

Anyway, this combination not only seemed to give me a little relief from the pain but lessened the quantity of flashbacks. Some of the flashbacks had triggers (a loud noise behind me would usually do it) and others just came by surprise. Usually, I'd have some pretty graphic images appear in my mind, along with that sick feeling in my stomach. This could happen 30-40 times a day and I usually just kept it all to myself, pretending that it wasn't happening.

Over a period of months I tapered off both the Lyrica and amitriptylene, then reduced the Cymbalta dosage all the way down to 30mg daily. It's now almost four years since the accident and I've been sleeping well and hardly had any flashbacks (since I originally began taking that cocktail of drugs).

I'm reasonably sure that Cymbalta played a huge part in the reduction in symptoms from the psychological trauma. Now, in saying that, it's a very powerful drug with a short half-life and strong, nasty, withdrawal effects. I might actually be "stuck on it" for years to come.

But I personally understand how unsettling it can be to be mentally haunted by an unresolved and unresolvable issue. I really hope you can come to terms with it or, somehow, remedy it. And thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here.

Fredbargate

I'm lost for words

Howefamily

Thank you for sharing your post. I don't know what to say except that I guess you live your life because it wasn't your time to go and you deal with the guilt even though you shouldn't be carrying it, but cant help it.
Enjoy your life, you deserve to, each day, every day.

Blade Down Under

The telephone conversation I had with my mum and dad, and my girlfriend at the time was also something I do remember.

When I was being prepped in the hospital, I saw that I had around 20 missed calls. I requested the staff if they could get me a phone so I can tell everyone that I was fine. The hospital staff were brilliant and got me one of their entertainment units (pretty cool stuff) which had a phone on for me to use.

I remember telling my mum and dad that I had survived the blast and was in hospital. I did say to them that if I don't make it, make sure my song is 'Don't You Forget About Me'. I can't promise anything. Their last words were 'We're coming down young boy, you best be around when we arrive'. I even told my girlfriend to prepare for the worst as I didn't know whether I'd survive. Telling 3 people that care about you, that you may not be around much longer is something I do not wish on anyone.

My girlfriend was working for a trading company in the Bank area so luckily she wasn't too far away from the hospital. When waking up after the operation, it was a relief to see her being there. Seeing my parents as well 6 hours later meant so much. They all booked themselves into the travel inn near Waterloo for the week in order to be with me 24/7. Another thing that I give praise to the medical staff at the hospital, allowing my parents and girlfriend to be with me by my side constantly during the week stay.

For you SnapShot, I'm so glad your folks didn't have that call. I dread to think what the parents were going through when they received the telephone call about the incident. I've got 2 kids now and I could not imagine what I'd do if one of them called me saying they'd been seriously injured in a bombing.

JamesM

Thank you for your post. Sharing and reminding.

I'll never forget the events of that day and your bravery is an inspiration. I don't think anyone would ever come out of something like that and recover from it fully.

Blade Down Under

Hi Shard

Yeah Ken does keep in touch with me. I had a mail from him this morning as he didn't have my new address details here. He called the wife who forwarded my e-mail to him.

Despite his politics, he's a fantastic individual. He's good to be around, he's fun, charismatic and loves London. I know Boris Johnson wasn't in power when this happened but I'm sure Boris would do the same. Politics aside, they're both lovable characters

I remained working in Canary Wharf when I made my return after 3 months off. However, one of my bosses kept picking me up from St Albans (she lived in Luton) and drove me to the office to get me used to returning to London again. They then sold me to the NHS for 3 years as I worked for the NHS at Euston Street in their offices. That definitely helped and I had 3 fantastic years there before returning to them. October 2008 was the first time I made the commute again. I ended up changing the commute route after a week as I had images of Carrie boarding the train. The first time I did it, I ended up getting off at Aldgate shaking like mad, having a panic attack. Quite a number of passengers got off with me, and I ended up going for a check over at the hospital again. I kept telling myself after that attack to do the commute again, but each time - kept getting off at Aldgate scared. That was it, no longer I could do this commute. Time to go on the Northern Line and DLR instead. I think it worked out slightly quicker

In the end I was glad and relieved that they offered me the job to come over to our offices here. I don't know how my details got passed but somehow Tommy Robinson, Anjem Choudary and others got my address and I received visits, as well as leaflets etc. I'll explain about these to a post further down. It just got so out of hand and I had enough

Charlie Paynter

Blade Down Under - Thank you so much for sharing. Made me stop and think about those that did perish and those that continue to suffer.

Blade Down Under

It's the way they'll get attention. Unfortunate and not wanted but to them it's the perfect moment. Cause anger, it's what they want.

This is where I'll further explain the note about the unwanted visits

Now I don't know how this happened but a weekend in 2009, I had a visit from Stephen Yaxley Lennon and Andrew McMaster. My wife answered and was kind of shocked when she saw who they were. As soon as I saw who they were, my first thought was to shut the door on them but I'm not that person. I invited them in and sat down to hear what they said

Now I'm not going to repeat what was said but they were pursuing my help and wanted me to join their organisation. I rejected their request as I don't believe in their views, never have and never will. Andrew got annoyed, wondering how I could live knowing what happened. Stephen was more human and never got too bothered, but they left me their details saying if I ever changed my mind, or wanted help - I should go to them

My mail then started receiving letters and leaflets from the English Defence League, The British National Party, National Front and Britain First. I was getting very angry and kept demanding how they'd got my address. I know my wife would never do such a thing and I requested my computer technicians to search through my history seeing if I made contact. I didn't. I still to this day, don't know how they managed to obtain my address. My wife and both sets of family deny any links to this and I believe them.

Well add to this, I had visits from Unite Against Fascism. Again I allowed them to come in but again, I rejected their requests to join them. Unlike Lennon and McMaster, they were more understanding and accepted my request. Still, they kept sending me requests to join them in counter protests. I didn't want this in my life, I had enough. I just wanted out

The final straw was when I received a death threat from the group Islam4UK just before they got banned by Theresa May. The police confirmed it was them, from other threats sent by the group. This was the final straw and this was the time I responded, demanding to meet Anjem Choudary. Choudary came to our house on his own in peace and apologised for the threat. I do believe he meant the apology despite many would say he's having me on. That day I didn't see the Choudary who hated the west, I saw a normal human being. He mentioned Afghanistan and Iraq, but stopped ranting when I told him I was one of a million people walking through London in protest against the Iraq War. I knew I tried to stop it by protesting, it didn't do any good but what more could I do. I explained the political background in Sheffield and mentioned you could put a red rose on a chimpanzee, and he'd win a seat in Westminster. Plus, there wasn't an election for 2 or 3 years after Iraq but he did respond with the '2005 was your chance and you failed'. No not all of us failed, but anyway we were never going to agree politics and Afghanistan wise, but I felt sorry for him regarding Iraq. We said our farewells and that was it, no more mail or contact from any Islamic militant group.

The mails continued from the right and left, and in 2012 there was talk of a new client Down Under. I didn't even need to put my name forward as they offered me the role. They commenced my GSA and SM applications as they told me afterwards, to leave the company and have a new life. I do intend to stay on for the 5 year project and then will decide what to do. It was only in January 2012 did New Zealand accept my application, and then in March - Australia accepted my application. That was it, all done - I was on the way to Australia. The wife is on her way soon as the house is sold and we've got an acceptance on a section in Ravenswood. We're happy to be basing in Canterbury but we're going to be hoping to get a house in Australia so that we've got the constant choice if we decide NZ isn't for us. I think it was the insects that decided it for us. I'm not worried about them but we've had plenty of false widows in our house for example and they scare the pants off my wife. I don't know how she'd react if she sees a Funnel Web or Huntsman. Plus there's the Sydney Bull Ant which are to be avoided at all costs. Not easy when you have 2 wondering kids

I do hope though that being here, we won't get bombarzled with mail from the groups. If I do find out who the company was that gave them my details, there'll be a nice letter of anger to them. I wish I bothered my MP about it but Kerry Pollard and Anne Main were not worth writing a Christmas card to.

Oh well, I'm glad I've been able to tell my story to you all. Thanks for reading and I just hope you don't have to ever go through what I've gone through these past 9 years. Whilst I've had the unwanted hassle - I've got married and have 2 lovely kids who are both excited about their new lives abroad.

TommyLuck

Whoever passed on your details. That is not cool!