SarahB

Hi long time no see!! Not managed to get on a computer until now.

This is our 4th week in Auckland (I think). I have to be honest and say that if I was offered a seat on the next plane back to UK I would seriously think about taking it. I'm so lonely here its making me depressed. And from my post the other week you know that Auckland isnt what I expected at all!

Moved into this house in Wattle Downs 10 days ago but theres just too much wrong with it and we just dont like it very much. We are moving to a village called Beachlands on the 23rd. We inherit 2 lovely cats with the move as the current tenent said she was going to have them put to sleep as she cant take them with her.

My OH is at work all day and I'm trying to keep my toddler occupied with hardly any toys and not sure where to go. I have loads of walks lined up but I need it to stop raining first!! Is there anybody out there I can speak to? You wouldnt believe how lonely I feel all day. If you are in the Auckland area (I'm south West now but moving to East coast.) then I would love to hear from you...please pm me. Thanks

Sarah B XX

Joshlin

Hi Sarah

really sorry to hear you're having such a tough time, I do hope that as you move into the summer months things start to get better for you.

Have you picked up on the threads about skype - you could download that and then some of us can have a chat with you during those times when we are all up.

what about finding a parent / toddler group for you and your little one - it would get you out of the house and into contact with some other mums, and give you some access to some toys! - I take it your still waiting on your stuff.

do try and keep sight of why you went - I'm sure it will all work out once things become a bit more familiar.

I don't know you but I do want to send you a big hug () - hope it helps a bit.

Vicki

Lisa T

I'm so sorry to hear how you feel, I'll be out there in a few weeks but obviously that's not soon enough to help at the moment. Have you tried the local "plunkett rooms" - according to my sister in law these are a sort of community playgroup arrangement designed for mothers and toddlers and they also have lots of notices for newcomers.

Keep optimistic - I have a friend who said she didn't settle until she got a job - it was only two afternoons in a local shop and the pay was lousy but it meant that she had a reason to get up and go out. The weather won't be great at the moment but at least you know it will improve. In England at the moment it's freezing and of course it's the middle of summer over here.......

Keep in touch with everyone on here - I'm sure this lot will do their best to keep you smiling.......

bookemjano

Hi Sarah, I wasn't on the forum whilst you were going through the immigration process, but having read your post here my heart goes out to you. The others have obviously given you some excellent advice to get you out and about and there's not much I can add to that. On the plus side, your toddler must love having you all to himself (herself?), and you must make the most of that time. I say forget the weather, wrap up well and go splashing in the puddles with your toddler - a great stress relief!

I'm sure this feeling is temporary, once you get busy with the move to Beachland and the settling in there you'll probably feel different, but that's not much help at the moment is it? It is only the fourth week though, I'm sure things will start to feel a little bit better soon.

You've obviously got a lot of friends on this forum who think the world of you, I'm sure that's helping you.

Jan

Pompey_Paul

Hi Sarh, so sorry that you're feeling lonely, having been a mum four times I've been lonely in the heart of UK(unbelievably) and badly depressed from time to time. Good News is I am now 100% and cant wait to get to NZ and out of ratrace in UK!!
Good advice from others, find a mum and toddler club and try to make some new contacts. Are you in a position to work at all as this is also such a good way to start meeting others?
How old are your little ones, if there are any toys that my son has that might benefit yours I'd be happy to send them out if you like?
We'll be there in 2007 and settling somewhere in Auckland, and no doubt looking for friends just like you, keep your chin up and let me know if there is anything we can do to help, Pam Webb

NZ_BOUND

Hi Sarah,
I'm sorry to hear you do not feel great at the mo. Try and keep your chin up and think of why you moved in the first place. I am sure that I will be in a very similar position when we move over there as I am a stay at home mum.

It is early days yet so try not to get too down (easier said than done, I know)
and if you need to let off steam e-mail me, as they always say a problem shared is a problem halved.

Big hugs to you all. Lyndsay xx

Pinkie Pie

Hi Sarah...oh my goodness you do sound a bit low...

I think we should call for reinforcements...I'm sure between us we can rustle up someone to come and meet you for a coffee and a chat...I'm going to go and put the word out and see what we can do...other than that you can always pm me or send me an email - I'm a piggin' nightowl so there's a good chance I'll still be up when you are...

Try not to be too isolated Sarah (and I don't mean geographically isolated)... even if you just pop to the shops everyday for a loaf of bread or something make sure that you're getting out and about...go jump in some puddles like Jan's suggested!!

We're all here for you Sarah...just give us a shout....

shepslady

Hi Sarah

You sound like your having a rough time of it right now. I hope things improve for you soon. Maybe the move to Beachlands will help. Also think the weather at this time of the year isnt great to be getting out & about so that cant be helping your cause either.Of course your going to be feeling lonely & isolated but try real hard not to give into these feelings. Just take it one day at a time, one small step at a time & try to remain positive. I can relate to everything your going through. When I first moved here with my husband it was the hardest thing I ever had to cope with in my life, keeping in mind I left an entire family behind. My sons were all grown with lives of their own & as much as they were sad to see me go they also thought it was a great adventure for me & encouraged me every step of the way. Ive made several trips home to stay with them & they have all been here to visit which was great. There are still days now when all I have to do is look at their photos on the wall & I burst into tears. Without warning the homesickness just creeps up on me but I always overcome it somehow & hang on to the knowledge that one day I will make that flight back to NZ & it will be on a one way ticket. Contact your local plunket office to enquire about local playgroups or coffee mornings with other Mums. There is bound to be some sort of community play group or something similar for you to get involved in. Explain you are a new arrival in the country & your desperate to meet other young Mums, they will direct you in the right area. Maybe introducing yourself to your neighbours might be a good thing too. Im sure there will be other stay at home Mums in your vicinity who might be glad of someone to share a cuppa with while the kiddies play for a while.
Hope things start to get better for you soon but in the mean time am sending you a cyber hug to help you through today.

Hugs

Shepslady

scottish

Sarah for what its worth we have all been there. The first few months are a nightmare especially in the Winter. Visit the other site www. u k 2 n z .co.uk. There are tons of expats living in Auckland and to the south of the city who would love to meet you and your family and who all have felt the way you have.

Hope your feeling better soon and you have made an excellant choice in moving to Beachlands (dont forget to take the trip on the ferry over to Auckland, much nicer way than sitting in a traffic jam).

80s Chick

Sarah I can't say any more than offer my best wishes and lots of hugs as everyone else has. I think you're really brave admitting on here how you feel it can't be easy. I'm not great at counselling but there are others who are even from thousands of miles away. Tke advantage of any offers of a shoulder to cry on you know we're here.

Love Phyl

uk+kiwi

Hi Sarah,

Firstly, big hug, don't let everything get on top of you, you are doing great and you know that NZ will come right for you!

Unfortunately the July/August weather does not help with the feelings you have as I know it can rain a lot! On the upside, the rain is just going to make the place look even more beautiful for the Summer.......which will come!!

I have a few (practical) suggestions for you which I hope may be of some use.

Firstly, thought the following website might help.
http://www.aucklandcity.govt.nz/whatson/kids/
it has all sorts of useful information on things to do. I followed through the community centre links and it gives all the locations for the community centres which run the usual types of activities including "immigrant programmes" of all things! I'm curious if nothing else!

Secondly, I thought your local/soon to be local doctor or health visitor may know of suitable places/activities you could do with your son.

I then wondered if you could treat yourself/your son to some new toys, especially given the poor weather. Perhaps a small toddler size trampoline or something similar to expel some energy. (Or enrol in toddler swimming or music classes ).

Also, not sure if you've been in touch with Sunshine in Rotorua, but she always seems very positive so I thought that might help, possibly even for a visit.

Finally, NZ does have some indoor soft play centres which may be good with the rain, and also enable you to meet some other mums. I'm only aware of one called Lollipops Playland, which I have just checked out has locations at Birkenhead, New Lynn, Ellerslie & Manukau - which I suspect is the closest but I'm not too sure. Sorry if they are too far away.

Hope that is of some use. Try to keep your chin up and be proud that you are living the experience. As Shepslady said, one day at a time.

Best of luck.

hubbard

What a lovely, thoughtfull post.

Sarah - am in AKL too and have a similiar downer on the place. Trying to send some positive thoughts to the weather gods because in the peeing rain it is truly miserable, a not a good introduction for you to the place at all. We arrived in the winter too and I wanted to get back on the plane as well.

Try to stay positive and take each day as it comes.

annaerb

Hi Sarah,

Haven't really read all of your messages and replies but ears pricked up when I read you were moving to Beachlands from Wattle Downs.

I am a Kiwi but live in Maraetai which is 5 mins from Beachlands. My OH has a Business in Beachlands so I know Beachlands well.
I have two girls 10 & 14 and know lots of Mums out there with toddlers who would be willing to help also. My Cousin lives in Maraetai also and has a 2 yr old.
If you would like to know anything just ask or if you want to meet up also let me know as I'm happy to show you around the area.

Carol

shepslady

Way to go Carol lets hope this helps Sarah settle. What a wonderfully generous offer from you which Im sure Sarah will benefit from greatly. Nice to know there are people out there who can help like this. Hope it all works out & you two become good friends.

sky

Sarah try not to be too hard on yourself either, just take it very, very slowly and don't rush into finding work or tying yourself down with any commitments at the moment.
Remember you and your family come first, do what you want to do when you want to do it.
I made the mistake of leaping straight into a fulltime job and then rushing around like crazy trying to sort childcare out etc and you end up making more enemys than friends in the long run. I left work, moved house again and immediately felt sick with panic that I didn't know anyone again so started volunteering at school but then I was tied again .. vicious circle lol.

Lots of us know exactly how you're feeling, it is a horrible time but it will get better and life will begin to slowly feel familiar again.