cricket1again

Going back to the UK next month. Mostly for business reasons and to help my daughter.
I'm aware of the bleak attitude currently held by some of the people in the UK and since I've been away I've realised how that same bleak impression is created by the oppressiveness of the media mostly. I've realised that I'm a much bigger thinker than i used to be and that I'll need to sidestep the bleak outlook in order to keep 'up there' in optimism and outlook.

I really haven't enjoyed living in Australia, it's main influences being so narrow, sport, beach and more sport have made it hard going mentally plus I hate the heat.
But I always try to find the positives and one big positive is that I can see how the UK can be a small mind, small world mentality. I wonder if this is why so many people try to escape the country? If it is, my attitude in returning is now about escaping the problem, not the UK. I'm determined not to get dragged down into the bog of bleakness that seems to be normal for so many people.

Any thoughts? And what positives is anyone else taking back?

Rodfan

Hi,

I think you are spot on, what you say about the government, and people being 'small minded' and sometimes it is not until you have actually lived outside of Britain, that you can take it for granted, I know I certainly used to. If ever given another chance to go back I will be looking on the positive side too. Good luckwith your move back I am sure you will be fine.

cricket1again

Don't get me wrong, I've found Oz small in the head too. They just have a different perspective when it comes to seeing past their problems. My observation is they either accept them and don't try to change anything or they battle against them with a vengeance. In the UK, some people seem to complain about their problems but then find excuses as to why they can't go beyond them.

A prime example is my own children. My son lives in Australia. When we first came here, he hated it and was very depressed. That was 5 years ago. Now he's a high flying, optimistic real estate agent living his life to the full. He's totally full of himself, takes far too many risks, and scares me with his ambitions but hey, he is a tonic to be sat next to. Australia has opened his eyes and made him this way and for that I'm grateful because in the UK, he had no direction and was very lazy. For him, it wasn't till he was placed in a situation where he just had to dive in the deep end and just get on with making his life happen.

My daughter is in the UK, and she is one of the main reasons why I'm going home. She refused to come to Australia and following a relationship break up nearly 2 years ago, she has struggled. She's very negative about the UK, negative about her future and talks about everything being doom and gloom. I'm just loving the idea of catching up with her She could have come to Oz and been with her family but she refused because she has that frustrating mentality of not being able to move beyond her problems. She sees life as it is, not how she wants it to be so she stays pretty much stuck. I hope going home, with some support around her, we can eject her out of her current mood. But having spoken to friends over there, I do get the feeling that they all really do see their current problems and issues as permanent limitations controlling their lives.

I think I too perhaps was a bit like that when i lived in the UK although being a designer, I used to think outside the square. However, this often landed me in trouble with the doomers and gloomers who thought I was nuts for thinking so big! Tricky eh?
Anyway, I haven't forgotten this syndrome and so how to avoid it is now on my mind as I head back home.
I guess one thing I have learned though is that we can't change anyone else or how they think but this doesn't mean this has to be our problem or reality. I think this is a serious consideration when planning any huge life change. I'm going home for business reasons, there are more people in the UK so more sales. This will be my focus so I'm going to have to make doubly sure I don't get sidetracked by reading the newspapers or watching the UK news because I'm sure it's this that creates the current mentality.

I'm not saying that my son has done well because he is in Oz and that my daughter has failed because she's stayed in the UK. Both have had their battles and dramas. The difference has been in their attitudes to dealing with it all. Australia is mostly optimistic and happy while the UK seems to be morose and oppressive. God knows why. It's not like there aren't great things about the UK.

Mummy in the foothills

The doomers and gloomers are everywhere, just don't let them drag you down.
Stay up beat and positive and call 'em on the negativity.
Are you sure your daughter is a little depressed, she sounds like it from the break up of her relationship a couple years ago. I'm sure she'll benefit from a positive attitude and think outside the box visit from Mum.
I also know more small minded (the world ends at the state line attitude) people here in US than I ever knew in UK. Mind I never did spend time with the negative people unless I had too. I'm stuck with a few gloomy gusses due to family friends and neighborhood relationships. I just try to keep time spent with them short and don't buy into the gloom.

JCSUPERMOTO

Dont you think you over analyse things too much to make you feel better/justify your actions?

cricket1again

I think she could be depressed. I won't know till I see her. And yes, I will be dodging the doomers and gloomers. I've learned that people can only think as big as their experience of life and that anythings possible as long as you can imagine it. I know we've all got to be patient, tolerant and forgiving with people who see their glass as half full but it sure doesn't work the other way and I get blasted for mine being full to the top.

cricket1again

No, as long as I can justify my own actions I don't need to make excuses for carrying out my mission. Moving back to the UK after 51/2 years is a big lifestyle move and just like most people I'm simply doing a summing up process of how I might have changed while I've been away and how I might need to react to certain things when I get back.
I remember what used to drag me down when I was there and I'm keen to avoid it when I go back.