CalgaryPete

Is Canada possible?

Calgary has a good variety of people from all over the world. It's a nice city, not too big, not too small. There are ranches and trail riding outfits, but without the gun culture. It's a nice city, with direct flights to the UK.

It's not even cold!

BlueSubaru

We actually met in Canada while my husband was managing a ranch there. Although we both enjoyed it there it isn't on our radar right now. We're really focusing on trying to either find a situation here in the US or getting back to the UK or Ireland. Ultimately we might just have to give the UK a go and see how we get on. What do people think about a scouting trip? We've considered doing this, but it just seems like it would be so much aimless wandering since where we would ultimately end up would depend on jobs, etc. Worth a trip?

britwhore

@BlueSubaru we panicked because my husband couldn't find work. He has been out of work for a few years. I was able to make "easy" money in LA doing commercials that pay stupid amounts of money so I was used to making a certain wage. But they don't pay actors as much in the UK and we were living off the money I was bringing in - so we panicked and fled back to the land of stupid actor wages!!!

However I've NEVER liked living in LA. I THOUGHT I would be OK with coming back to LA knowing that I needed to be here to support myself and my husband but as soon as we arrived I knew we had made a terrible decision. Yes the money is good but the quality of life (for me) isn't what I want.

We didn't want to be "those people" that keep moving back and forth and we definitely didn't have the money to do it so we decided to stay and "see how it goes" but I was miserable.

Luckily my husband has just been offered an amazing job back in London so we get to move for a really good reason.

greensubaru

Hi BlueSubaru, new member here.

In a similar position. Been out of UK (SEA) for well over a decade and, like your husband, am worried about being out of touch work wise, but at the same time think it is also possible it could be like putting on an old glove.

While you have an issue with small-mindedness there, I am wary of small-mindedness in the UK, being from a place that is fairly insular. I find Brit humour, though generally great, can be a right pain with certain types in a working environment; those who like to continually have a dig and won't let go over trivial things, where Americans tend to generally be more polite/respectful.

I think it's important for you (well, your husband) to dispel from his mind the idea of what it was like. It will never be the same, nowhere is, even if it is indeed exactly the same, as we all move on.

Regards going over to test the waters, so to speak, I don't think it's realistic. You've already holidayed there, right? I was mulling the same thing as am/was afraid to commit, but came to the conclusion that it'd just be a waste of money and time (plus would mess kids about) and there is no definitive way to see if it'll work other than just going for it. If it doesn't work out, nothing is permanent and I'm sure you could return to the US.

Work wise, as a tester, he could possibly apply for jobs online from there with the likes of indeed <<<snip>>> -- sending his CV (resume) off to see if anyone bites.

Also, regards his work, though indeed there are no US-style horse ranches in the UK with cowboys flinging lassos all over the shop that I know of, there would likely be other positions he could side-step into, such as working on a horse stud, farm hand or similar.

<<<snip>>>

If I were in your shoes, I'd look to getting on the edge of a mid-sized city, perhaps in the West Midlands or West Country regions and you could both be near to your prospective work. Beauty of UK is it's small, as you say, meaning the country is always close at hand.

Regards Surinder Singh, it is getting tougher, but there is nothing the UK can do (legally) to prevent British folks bringing in their families from an EU country that they were living and working in and there was a ruling to that effect recently. Though the key is 'living and working' (having your 'centre of life') there, say, in Ireland or Spain, and then moving across to the UK after min' 6 months. Short holidays won't wash with UK Imm.

Anyway, I hope you come to a decision and it all works out. We're making the transition in a couple months and while I'm dreading it (work, way of life and the cold initially), there is also familiarity, safety and good medical care etc to look forward to.

Cheers

morayeel

I feel for you having to make a huge decision and just not knowing if it will be the right one. The only advice I can give is if you decide to make the leap, give it some time to adjust. I moved back to the U.K over 3 years ago. I only stayed a few months and came back to the U.S.. I wasn't prepared for all the emotions I would feel and on some days it was just too overwhelming and I came back to my "comfort zone". In hindsight I should have just stayed put in the U.K. Now my daughter is in a relationship and has a baby so if I go back it will just be me!! Here in the U.S I work minimum wage job with no health dental or vacation.. I do get some food stamps. I really struggle. My family thinks I will be better off in the U.K but I would miss my daughter and grandkids.. I would say GO and make the most of it.. I wish you all well. Sorry for rambling.

HighlandPenguin

Hi @BlueSubaru

As like @britwhore, I too am a ping-ponger unfortunately and also find myself this side of the pond in the US, longing to return back to Scotland and asking myself “what was I thinking coming back here”.

Your post truly stuck a chord with me regarding the reasons you are considering a return to the UK, as these are similar values/goals I would like for me and my OH (Bluegrass Lass) as well as our daughter who was born September last year.

Regarding advise on jobs, I won't be much help there as I have only worked in the IT sector in Scotland and don't know much more about other job fields in the UK.

I will say as @morayeel noted, that it is a good idea to give it time once you get there. As @morayeel and @britwhore mentioned it is very easy to get caught up in the emotions of things and to return for the wrong reasons.

I can talk from personal experience here and have regrets. We decided last year to return back to the US in part for my OH to be close to her family before the baby was born and also the allure of more money and bigger houses and what not. However my OH code blued for 20 minutes during an emergency c-section to deliver our daughter, which along with an MS relapse has profoundly put things in perspective for me. The motivations that drew me back here to the US are no longer important and the things you mentioned that are drawing you and your husband to the UK, resonate with me more now than ever before.

To top things off, today I found out that my mother who lives in Scotland and has stage four cancer, has had it spread to her brain and might never get to hold my wee daughter. Needless to say I am emotional wreck right now.

Therefore if a move to the UK is what you really want, make sure to really make a go of it. For at least 2- 3 years in my opinion, before giving up like we did.

The ping-poning is definitely having its toll on me and my OH as we find ourselves now where I am in country I am slowly beginning to loathe and my OH not really interested in wanting to possibly return to Scotland once she has recovered from her MS relapse. The art of compromise will truly be put to the test for us.

However that is enough about my story. I wish you best of luck in your decision and hope some of my experiences can help with your decision.

Cheers

Perth

Oh no, this is truly devastating HP. I had been following Bluegrass Lass and your trips to and from the UK and was hoping you had settled well back in the US. It is a terrible thing this ping-ponging. Did it myself a few times. However, if I hadn't come back this last time (25 years ago) I would not have met my DH or had my DD. I try to keep this in mind during my darkest hours of homesickness. I do hope you can get it sorted soon

Sally Redux

Oh my goodness Highland Penguin, I can't believe what I'm seeing

Bluegrass Lass

I'm still here Sally. Working on getting my strength back day by day, but still not quite walking yet. Needless to say, it's been a very difficult past 6months. And yes, hubby is trying to talk me into ping ponging again, but I'm just not sure if I'm up for it a 3rd time.

Anyways, enoug of taking this thread off topic with our story. Good luck OP in deciding what to do. International moving is not an easy decision at all.

Sally Redux

Hiya that's good to know.

You need some time to get straight with your health and enjoy being with baby. Take care.

Apologies to the OP.

dunroving

Glad to hear you are making good progress, BL, I know how difficult it has been for the two of you ping-ponging and all the health issues. I think you give great advice to the OP, and I should know being a perennial ping-ponger!

After "pinging" away in 1983, I "ponged" back to the UK in 2000 for just a year but was completely miserable and so "pinged" back to the US in 2001. Although I loved it back there, I "ponged" back here after 5.5 years not through any huge desire to be back but ... well, long story.

When I came back in 2006 I was again miserable and would have "pinged" away to the US again given half a chance (and did try for several jobs). Now in retrospect I am so glad I didn't, even though I miss a lot about the US.

There is no single right answer for everyone in terms of where to live but apart from the odd one or two situations, I definitely think "Give it time" is just about the best advice for the OP.

sallysimmons

The England your husband grew up with is still here ... I live there. Tiny village, small school, local pub, friendly neighbours etc etc. But it sounds as though his work options might dictate where you live, so whether you could live in this England may be a question mark.

As for whether life is better in the US or the UK, there's no way for anyone else to answer that but the two of you. Write down all the things you really love about the US and then consider which ones wouldn't be attainable in the UK.

When I lived in the US and did this exercise, all I came up with is watermelon. I figured I could manage without that! But your list might include all sorts of things that I didn't care about. Only you both know that.

cityboys1911

Hi sallysimmons
I read your thread,we have been in the USA since 2002 here in Florida but we have decided to move back to the UK we lived in Bradford and Halifax and want to move to a small village in north Yorkshire I noticed that's where you would you mind telling me where you live and what it is like thank you

britwhore

sallysimmons all I came up with is half & half!!!!

I bought watermelon at Waitrose and Morrisons.

J.JsOH

To the OP, I know little about horses except to suggest consider horse racing stables or even Queens stables at Sandringham.