British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Would you still uproot? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/would-you-still-uproot-498476/)

Roland Hulme Dec 7th 2007 4:22 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
What a brilliant thread and such interesting responses.

I think everybody knows my feelings - although if I had limitless resources and opportunities, I'd probably pick France over America OR England.

But definitely not England. Ever since I left for the first time in 2000, I've never wanted to live there again and didn't like the three years I had to.

tonrob Dec 7th 2007 4:24 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5642974)
It seems to me that quite a lot of BE folk in the US exhibit feelings of nostalgia around their sentiments about life in the UK. In some cases they would like to return here - post-haste! Naturally, one's outlook and adaptability varies from person to person, so I'll bear this in mind.

Anyway, my question is......

If you had known what you have lived and experienced today BEFORE taking the plunge to live and work in the US, would you still uproot?

---

I'm approaching 3 years in and despite a couple of years of really bad homesickness I'm actually feeling quite settled now - so no.

Serenity Dec 7th 2007 4:47 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
Well I spent 4 years there and have now been back in the UK for 5 (it doesn't feel that long!)

For probably about 98% of the time I am glad I went there first instead of the husband moving here as was the original plan. I am a different person than I would have been had I not had the experience.

For 2% of the time when I look back... well I had a life before I moved, uni, friends, went out about 4 nights a week, was in the last year of my degree and planning on doing a PGCE. Then I was nothing, trapped in an apartment, no friends and on a completely different wavelength from everyone I met and no-one could understand a word I said. I didn't realise till afterwards but for at least a year I was clinically depressed. I put on tons of weight, I couldn't cope with going out by myself, I quit my job and stayed at home in my nighty, crying. So for 1% I look back and feel my life was stolen from me, and for the other 1% I regret not being mentally well enough to fully enjoy the experience for the first couple of years. But by year 4 I was fully integrated and happy and we almost chose to stay!

I sometimes I look back and imagine a life I could have had without moving to the US and there is not so much isolation and depression in it and I have a career. But then when I just remember the here and now I love my life, I have a wonderful husband, a little boy who is a complete joy, fab friends, a nice place to live, and who's to say another path would've led to this?

britex01 Dec 7th 2007 5:23 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by Serenity (Post 5643661)
Well I spent 4 years there and have now been back in the UK for 5 (it doesn't feel that long!)

For probably about 98% of the time I am glad I went there first instead of the husband moving here as was the original plan. I am a different person than I would have been had I not had the experience.

For 2% of the time when I look back... well I had a life before I moved, uni, friends, went out about 4 nights a week, was in the last year of my degree and planning on doing a PGCE. Then I was nothing, trapped in an apartment, no friends and on a completely different wavelength from everyone I met and no-one could understand a word I said. I didn't realise till afterwards but for at least a year I was clinically depressed. I put on tons of weight, I couldn't cope with going out by myself, I quit my job and stayed at home in my nighty, crying. So for 1% I look back and feel my life was stolen from me, and for the other 1% I regret not being mentally well enough to fully enjoy the experience for the first couple of years. But by year 4 I was fully integrated and happy and we almost chose to stay!

I sometimes I look back and imagine a life I could have had without moving to the US and there is not so much isolation and depression in it and I have a career. But then when I just remember the here and now I love my life, I have a wonderful husband, a little boy who is a complete joy, fab friends, a nice place to live, and who's to say another path would've led to this?

This indeed, reveals an admixture of emotions about your early days in the States. But it's your last ten words that shows it was all worth while in the end, proving to us all that, sometimes, life as though shifts its uncertain weight against us, to then happily, surprisingly, shift the course of fate back in our favour.

Enjoy your here and now.

;)

----

Mallory Dec 7th 2007 5:48 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
When I go back to the UK and the weather behaves, I really like it. If the weather is awful, rainy, windy, cold - I don't like it.

I love going back for holidays, but it's not the same since my mum died.

Like Ray, I have great memories, but I like the life here too much to go back.

I just can't get used to everything being so crowded. Stuff is so expensive. Packing groceries in bags myself, the horra! Car parks with no empty spots. Banks with no drive through. All my relatives have stick shifts, and I can't drive them. No right on red.

On a beautiful summer day, you can't beat the UK though. But oh, I forgot about those huge traffic jams to get to the coast! ... and no AC.

Triumphrob Dec 7th 2007 6:00 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5642974)
It seems to me that quite a lot of BE folk in the US exhibit feelings of nostalgia around their sentiments about life in the UK. In some cases they would like to return here - post-haste! Naturally, one's outlook and adaptability varies from person to person, so I'll bear this in mind.

Anyway, my question is......

If you had known what you have lived and experienced today BEFORE taking the plunge to live and work in the US, would you still uproot?

---

No. After 21 years I hate it here, but Im older and it would be difficult to start again, and im to established here. I guess Im in Limbo!

Circus-of-Power Dec 7th 2007 6:30 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
Its been 4 years since the first visit and a full 2 and a bit years since the full blown move. Apart from 2 awful bouts of homesickness in the first few months after the second move things have worked out pretty good ....Life had been sweet back in the UK and I'd had a rollicking good time for the first 38 years of my life, but it was time to change ......and so onto the USA ....Bored people before with how good the quality of life is here in this backwater ..yes there are few obvious drawbacks but you just work out another game plan to compensate.
I'll always be English ..I'll always hanker for a few certain things ....but at this point I doubt I'd move back to the UK ...a vacation would be nice ....but then again there are all those other places in the world I want to see first ...so maybe in a decade or so I'll go back ...

Britinsac Dec 7th 2007 6:50 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
I found out this week that the company I work for is being bought by a UK company. When I got home I told my kids we would have to go back to live in England. My son said "Not no but hell no" "My daughter said "I wont have any friends, we will have to live back in a tiny house, we won't have a pool, it will rain all the time,I would rather stay here".

Thank heavens I don't have to go because they want more people here not there. Phew!

But like most people I miss some things.. it's inevitable. Even after 5 years food tastes different, a tomato doesnt taste like a UK tomato etc. I am sure if we went back we would miss things here too. Can't have everything can we?

britex01 Dec 7th 2007 8:15 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 
Overall, some interesting and genuine answers to my thread. I think on the whole it seems that a good many of you possess fond memories of the time you lived here in the UK, but eventually adapted and settled into your new environment.

Others of you are as if still torn between our two continents - Europe and the United States, for reasons of individual ties and national sentiment. Yet others of you wouldn't consider moving back to your native ties under any circumstances (to visit, maybe).

I ask these questions because I am half in, half out, in terms of moving from here to there. My wife is true blood American. She would like me to move - eventually. When I was last in the States I felt reasonably at 'home'.

Perhaps I ought give it a full year... see how I feel. I'm freelance, so job searching wouldn't be the criterion. Environment and sociability would. Oh, and good horseback riding country! .. :D

---

lisag8070 Dec 7th 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5644324)
Overall, some interesting and genuine answers to my thread. I think on the whole it seems that a good many of you possess fond memories of the time you lived here in the UK, but eventually adapted and settled into your new environment.

Others of you are as if still torn between our two continents - Europe and the United States, for reasons of individual ties and national sentiment. Yet others of you wouldn't consider moving back to your native ties under any circumstances (to visit, maybe).

I ask these questions because I am half in, half out, in terms of moving from here to there. My wife is true blood American. She would like me to move - eventually. When I was last in the States I felt reasonably at 'home'.

Perhaps I ought give it a full year... see how I feel. I'm freelance, so job searching wouldn't be the criterion. Environment and sociability would. Oh, and good horseback riding country! .. :D

---

Resistance is futile....you will be assimilated...:lol:

britex01 Dec 7th 2007 9:28 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by lisag8070 (Post 5644430)
Resistance is futile....you will be assimilated...:lol:

I assume you crack a good whip, then? ... :cool:

---

lisag8070 Dec 7th 2007 9:34 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5644546)
I assume you crack a good whip, then? ... :cool:

---

nope not me....thats Elvira's job...;)

Tracym Dec 7th 2007 9:37 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5644546)
I assume you crack a good whip, then? ... :cool:

---

We're the Borg (sp?).

Silly Sod Dec 7th 2007 9:41 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by britex01 (Post 5642974)
It seems to me that quite a lot of BE folk in the US exhibit feelings of nostalgia around their sentiments about life in the UK. In some cases they would like to return here - post-haste! Naturally, one's outlook and adaptability varies from person to person, so I'll bear this in mind.

Anyway, my question is......

If you had known what you have lived and experienced today BEFORE taking the plunge to live and work in the US, would you still uproot?

---

wouldn't change a bleedin thing mate. I've said it before and I'll say it again - me mam told me before I left - son, if you don't go you'll spend your life wondering what if. Well sod that. You make your bed and you lie in your own piss lol.

Tracym Dec 7th 2007 9:42 pm

Re: Would you still uproot?
 

Originally Posted by Silly Sod (Post 5644592)
wouldn't change a bleedin thing mate. I've said it before and I'll say it again - me mam told me before I left - son, if you don't go you'll spend your life wondering what if. Well sod that. You make your bed and you lie in your own piss lol.

Some of us get out and go to the bathroom for that...

:p


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