Is it worth the fight?
Jan 23rd 2006, 2:42 am
#76
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 55
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Hey there everyone.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Jan 23rd 2006, 6:30 am
#77
Live the moment
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: In between nappies and feeds
Posts: 2,026
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by Ladybird
Hey there everyone.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well done ....I am glad you are going to get some help and I really hope that your hubby is supportive in it. All good moves forward, take care and keep us posted
Jan 23rd 2006, 9:20 am
#78
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 716
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by honeymommy
Not working was a major downer for me in the USA. I was soooo bored and lonely... Yes I made myself busy, but it wasn't living and enjoying life busy, it became monotonous. I became low and it showed... Homesickness was overwhelming. I thought I was homesick for the UK, but I was wrong.
I went to college for a year, as no work permit. I met people, I challenged myself, I got invited out and began to live life to the full. It changed my whole outlook. It also changed the way people related to me, as I showed outward happiness, which had been lacking for a long time.
Eventually we had to return to the UK. I did not want to come back, and it took a while to adjust, but I knew how, having just done it in the USA...
LIFE HUH... LOL...
Well thats my experience....
Just try something new, nothing to lose, and so much to gain.....
At the end of the day, if you are still not happy. At least you tried.
I went to college for a year, as no work permit. I met people, I challenged myself, I got invited out and began to live life to the full. It changed my whole outlook. It also changed the way people related to me, as I showed outward happiness, which had been lacking for a long time.
Eventually we had to return to the UK. I did not want to come back, and it took a while to adjust, but I knew how, having just done it in the USA...
LIFE HUH... LOL...
Well thats my experience....
Just try something new, nothing to lose, and so much to gain.....
At the end of the day, if you are still not happy. At least you tried.
Jan 23rd 2006, 9:27 am
#79
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by Ladybird
Hey there everyone.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
I too went to the docs before I left for England, but I don't want to discuss it it and plaster it all on here - I'll write you a short karma - read your "profile".
Meanwhile I've got 5 hours to sort out my 3 suitcases and 60kgs, baths and food for the kids - last trip to Sainsburys - then I fly back to where you are tonight.
Sob!! Sob!!! I wish I could stay here!!
Jan 23rd 2006, 11:09 am
#80
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Ladybird,i think you should give yourself a pat on the back you have taken a very brave and positive step in trying to help yourself with the homesickness problems you have been experiencing.
Emigrating to another country,uprooting yourself from all that you have ever known is a massive shock to the system and its effects cannot be underestimated.Its stirs up a profusions of emotions that you may not have had to deal with before,or not all at once in such a short timeframe.
I hope that you receive the vital support that you need from your husband at this difficult time.
i am sure that just being able to talk openly with a counsellor will be an extremely beneficial exercise.
As mums and wives we often put ourselves to the back of the queue,in terms of our needs but as a counsellor once told me,following a stressful episode of my life, a mum is a person as well and she is the glue that holds a family together and if she is not happy the rest of family will probably not be.
I wish you all the very best.
Sue d.
Emigrating to another country,uprooting yourself from all that you have ever known is a massive shock to the system and its effects cannot be underestimated.Its stirs up a profusions of emotions that you may not have had to deal with before,or not all at once in such a short timeframe.
I hope that you receive the vital support that you need from your husband at this difficult time.
i am sure that just being able to talk openly with a counsellor will be an extremely beneficial exercise.
As mums and wives we often put ourselves to the back of the queue,in terms of our needs but as a counsellor once told me,following a stressful episode of my life, a mum is a person as well and she is the glue that holds a family together and if she is not happy the rest of family will probably not be.
I wish you all the very best.
Sue d.
Jan 23rd 2006, 12:09 pm
#81
¿Dónde estoy?
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: my paradise - Jávea
Posts: 13,330
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by sduffy
........................a mum is a person as well and she is the glue that holds a family together and if she is not happy the rest of family will probably not be.
I wish you all the very best.
Sue d.
I wish you all the very best.
Sue d.
So true, which is why we are in Spain. Dh has business in Florida & we tried living there but I was soooooo depressed - maybe it was just the wrong part of the State, I don't know
We moved there from the UK because we were sick of him being away so much, but although he & the kids seemed happy, I really wasn't, and he realised that if I wasn't then no-one else was really.
Eventually we came here, the kids & I are happy, he'd be happy to retire here, tho making a good living here is hard, so he's flying back & forth across the Atlantic again!
Somehow it's not as bad as when we were in the UK, as many of my friends here also have hubbys who are often away too, so we all support each other.
the support of friends new & old is the most important thing
Last edited by lynnxa; Jan 23rd 2006 at 1:37 pm.
Jan 23rd 2006, 12:51 pm
#82
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: uk-perth northern suburbs-uk
Posts: 740
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by Ladybird
Hey there everyone.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
homesickness is a tricky thing to define because it means different things to different people. some say its culture shock that improoves over time, but some say u never know when/if u will experience it (days...months...) when i came here, i had bad culture shock - i would liken it to depression. Before u leave, you think "it wont happen to me", i thought that too, NOONE WANTS it to happen - but i woke up each day, and i mean each day, with a black cloud in my head and a heavy heart...it was hell. i wouldnt wish it on anyone.
i went to see a counsellor and also took antidepressants for a while. im ok now, and can look at pros and cons in a balanced way.
keep going to see the counsellor, even if at first you may not see the point. sometimes, just saying things to neutral people helps us find the answers we need for ourselves. please take up the offer of those who live near you, to sort out your message box - they will be a great support for you. you've made the first big step in helping yourself...keep going now.
and remember...whatever you feel is valid. its not unresonable or abnormal. as you said, theres nothing wrong mentally. go with your instincts. hopefully, you will feel better able in time to make decisions for yourself and others in your family will have to take your lead as it seems you have tried v hard for them for a long time now......
luck and love to you
c x
Jan 23rd 2006, 9:01 pm
#83
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 55
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by kendodd
I wish you would enable your private messages!
I too went to the docs before I left for England, but I don't want to discuss it it and plaster it all on here - I'll write you a short karma - read your "profile".
Meanwhile I've got 5 hours to sort out my 3 suitcases and 60kgs, baths and food for the kids - last trip to Sainsburys - then I fly back to where you are tonight.
Sob!! Sob!!! I wish I could stay here!!
I too went to the docs before I left for England, but I don't want to discuss it it and plaster it all on here - I'll write you a short karma - read your "profile".
Meanwhile I've got 5 hours to sort out my 3 suitcases and 60kgs, baths and food for the kids - last trip to Sainsburys - then I fly back to where you are tonight.
Sob!! Sob!!! I wish I could stay here!!
I think I have now enabled my PM's! Send me one and I will soon find out!
Thank you for all your kind messages, I read them all on my profile, because I don't manage to visit very often I didn't know they were there!! And again thanks fo the supportive posts it really does help.
Ladybird.
Jan 23rd 2006, 10:25 pm
#84
CA to TX to Jamaica
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,887
Re: Is it worth the fight?
Originally Posted by Ladybird
Hey there everyone.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Well it's happened I finally reached the end of my tether this morning, and took myself off to the doctors, I spend 30 minutes blubbing and trying to get across what the problem was.
Relations between myself and hubby are worsening and I really didn't know what else to do.
She wants me to see another doctor next week so that I can be refered to a consellour and start getting some help. She didn't think I was depressed or suicidal (which was good because i'm deffo not suicidal) but she thinks I have a condition (can't remember the name) that's associated with all the stresses and strains of relocation to another country, it wasn't culture shock, but was along the same lines. Maybe displacement something?
Anyway at least now I have taken a positive step and will be getting some help, all I have to do now is tell hubby
Ladybird.
Get treated and then see how you feel. And all the best with it.
Jan 23rd 2006, 11:04 pm
#85
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 11
Re: Is it worth the fight?
HI,
Oh it sounds a familiar story. Have been in NZ for 2 yrs with Kiwi partner but are now deciding whether to go back to the UK or not. I want to have a baby and am not convinced that staying here with no family is the best option (his parents live miles away and are elderly). I am torn because we have a nice house here and going back to UK for us means massively downgrading although I am beginning to wonder whether that matters much in the scheme of things. I have good and bad days too - some days love it here and other days just miss all the culture of the UK....Holdens and Fords just don't really do it for me
So hang in there but talk to your husband...I have found that talking and being honest about how you feel is the only way forward. Plus I agree with the happy mummy bit. One of my arguments for going back is that I am the one who will be at home with baby so its vital that I am happy!!!!
Good luck!!!
Oh it sounds a familiar story. Have been in NZ for 2 yrs with Kiwi partner but are now deciding whether to go back to the UK or not. I want to have a baby and am not convinced that staying here with no family is the best option (his parents live miles away and are elderly). I am torn because we have a nice house here and going back to UK for us means massively downgrading although I am beginning to wonder whether that matters much in the scheme of things. I have good and bad days too - some days love it here and other days just miss all the culture of the UK....Holdens and Fords just don't really do it for me
So hang in there but talk to your husband...I have found that talking and being honest about how you feel is the only way forward. Plus I agree with the happy mummy bit. One of my arguments for going back is that I am the one who will be at home with baby so its vital that I am happy!!!!
Good luck!!!
