LIBBY

Oh my gosh, so many unhappy people, I really feel for all of you having been there myself. I am one of the lucky ones and am going home with a hubby that wants the same as me.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope it works out for you all. If I could magic you all to where you wanted to be, I would. Gosh I do sound so cheesy reading this back to myself, but I really do mean it.

Libby

ladylisa

I get tired of people back in UK saying how lucky we are and what a great life we have - "but I couldnt do it" Well, what makes them think it is so easy for me, when i mention about returning they say "dont you dare, its crap here, whats there to come back to". People in Oz also suggest that we are so fortunate to get to live here and why would we ever want to return to a place like that - apart from the fact they have never left their own state, what would they know [/QUOTE]




The big problem in the UK is that because the media has told every Brit their country is rubbish and everything is wrong however other countries on the other hand are paradise, people now believe it. Britain's were always a proud nation and it makes me very upset that the confidence of its people has been eroded. Everyone has the possibility of making a good life in the UK why is it that many other nations can see that except the Brits, why do Brits think that so many people are trying to move to the UK. In part I believe its because British people have had it so good that they dont see it.

My friend from the UK was moaning about British police and telling me this story that happened namely that as she was cycling home from work an old lady pulled out of a T Junction and her car was hit in the side by the car coming along the main road. My friend moaned that as she got off her bike to help the old lady she called the Police and when they found out no one was injured they declined to attend the accident. She used that story as another example of why she thinks the UK is 'crap'. So I asked my friend if anyone else helped the lady. Oh yes she said all the passing motorists stopped and helped push her car to a quiet road and sat with her, and the person who was also hit helped the old lady too. I said nothing else...whats the point.

Now for me this is my take on it. I know from working in Insurance that the Police only attend accidents where their are injuries, otherwise they would be doing nothing else. So I dont have an issue with that. What I was proud of is the fact that people cared and stopped and helped, thats what makes me feel that the UK is great. I asked my husband if he thought people would stop here where we live in the US. No was the response, I dont think so either. Mind you no one would also be crazy enough to cycle here either but thats another story.

CaliforniaBride

I tried to PM you but it's not possible. I wanted to say that you sound depressed. Not just down but diagnosable. You might want to consider seeing your GP. With some help you may be able to come out of that fog, see more clearly and be in a better postion to make the right decision. Just my thoughts.

Becs

You're in quite the dilemma I agree with CaliBride though, I think you need to be treated for depression. It will give you the strength to go on and work through it all.

Good luck, I really do feel for you

-Becs

janeyray

I often wondered when I lived in Perth, that if my parents lived out there with us would I still feel as homesick if at all? I see in your case although they are out in Brisbane with you that you still have the 'pull' of the UK.

Maybe this is due to how long we spend there, growing up, the feeling of Familiarity, knowing everything about where we live?
I think the whole 'homesickness' thing goes deeper than we think, and perhaps this is why it's so hard to shake off?

Desire

Hi Ladybird,
I really feel for you, i am also in the same situation as yourself.
Came here for hubbys work. The whole process happened really fast for us(too fast). Hubby still feels it was the right move to have done, i disagree.
We had a much better standard of living in the uk and with family and friends all close by. Can't quite get my head round where he is coming from.
I am very unhappy. The girls just get on with their lives, although the eldest said to me today "she had more fun in the uk". (She is 10).
I stay because i feel we have had an opportunity only others can dream about. The fact we have spent so much money, that maybe the 5 months that i have been here is not enough time to make a decision.

ladylisa

On the other hand I think having family with you even more of a pressure, when I was still settling into the US my parents in law said they would buy a house here and I remembered panicking what if I wanted to leave, I couldnt and that would make me have to stay.

Ladybird

Sorry you couldn't PM me, I have disabled the option because my hubby reads my messages sometimes and I don't want him to know I have been posting on here.

Thanks for your advice, I have thought about seeing the doctor before, but I always seem to bounce back so haven't bothered. I will think about it again.

ANA123

I imagined having my parents here would make all the difference in settling.....but really now feel it is another pressure to stay. They are not particularly sympathetic to how i feel about going home, and it would be another burden to drag them back.(i know they wouldnt have to....but i also know they would).
I am not desperately unhappy, though i have been over the first year particularly, but i just have that empty feeling and dont feel content.
Michaela

CaliforniaBride

Hi. Just wanted to let you know that the PM's go to your inbox on this site which means that unless he has your username and password for this site then he wouldn't be able to read them. The email notifications should be switched off because then emails would be sent to you each time you get a reply to your post. And you can also turn off the option for other users to email you, which you have done. Hope that helps.

Might be worth thinking about. Each time you bounce back it gets harder. The other problem is that the individual is not always the best person to judge themselves. It really wouldn't do any harm to have a chat with your GP.

I really hope you get what you need to deal with this. I wish you all the best.

MrsB

It sounds like you are talking about email? As far as I understand it - and I'm prepared to be corrected - you can disable email which goes to your normal email address, and you can disable the "private message" which stays within this site only.

If your husband does not know you even logon here - then you could re-enable the "private message" as they will only come to your inbox here, so even then he will be none the wiser! I'm a closet "BE" aswell!!!

It does help to chat.

Ken

Oh sorry.....someone else has just put this above me....we must have been writing at the same time!

Ladybird

[QUOTE=kendodd]It sounds like you are talking about email? As far as I understand it - and I'm prepared to be corrected - you can disable email which goes to your normal email address, and you can disable the "private message" which stays within this site only.

If your husband does not know you even logon here - then you could re-enable the "private message" as they will only come to your inbox here, so even then he will be none the wiser! I'm a closet "BE" aswell!!!
QUOTE]

Thanks, I guess it was just easier to disable everything. Had to make sure nothing gave me away

HiddenPaw

I can relate to this - when deciding whether to leave AUstralia I coulodn't figure out why I was happy to give up something that so many other people seemed so 'desperate' (for want of a better word) to have. There were just hundreds of people on this site for starters eagerly and impatiently waiting for visas. What you have to remember is that for those dreaming of Oz, it is exactly that - a dream. They haven't yet dealt with the reality...you have. And that's a whole different kettle of fish. .

Good luck.

Cheetah7

I feel so sorry for the original poster that is so desperate to come home.

Up until a few weeks ago, I would have shagged John Howard for my visa (well maybe not) and the whole process took over my life.

As you say, I havent even imagined what homesickness will be like and have no illusions as to how hard it will be.

Now my Mum has been diagnosed with lung and liver cancer, suddenly life has been re-assessed.

Yes, we are still going for the visa, although finalising the last few things for TRA is hard as I am emotionally drained (we only heard Friday)

But it is not taking over any more. We will get it (hopefully), validate it and then spend what little time is left for Mum with her.

So if you are that unhappy in Australia, please please dont bottle it up. Tell your partner because you are in it together.

He may not come to your decision, but there is always a middle ground.

Australia is the dream of thousands, it's damn hard work to achieve it but you must share your worries and fears and that means all of them.

Tell him how you feel, don't keep it to yourself because between you, you might just find a compromise.

Remember that nothing is forever, whilst you have a choice, you can change it.

And don't let it take over your life.

Good luck and I hope you sort it out.

Ladybird

Hi PP

So sorry to here about your mum, that must make things harder for you all round. Parents health was a bit of a factor when we came over, my dad was admitted to hospital about 3 months before we left the Uk with a blood clot on his lung, so this made it even harder for me to leave the Uk, I was, and still am, scared stiff that if something happens I won't be able to get home to him quick enough (I know that's a bit morbid but its also reality). Although fingers crossed he seems better at the moment.

I have made my feelings clear to my partner about how I am feeling, but have also told him that I will give this experience a fair go before I throw in the towel, so I sometimes feel like there is no more point talking to him about it because he can't help me (other than telling me we're going home!) its just me moaning on about how I feel all the time.

So the plan for now is just to keep going and try to get something out of the whole experience and just try not to let it all get too much. I've already done 1 year which seems unbelievable, so what's one more year?

A trying to be cheerful Ladybird