WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
Aug 21st 2008, 9:15 pm
#16
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
For me like Quoll I married an Aussie, I had come out here as a backpacker and had a blast (but guess what, when you actually live here permanently it's very different).
Also I was 24, and had done the working holiday thing in Europe and USA so thought I was pretty much invincible.
Can't say I wanted to leave the UK as such, but I certainly never thought about it and analysed it the same way as I have made the decision to come back 11 years later. Maybe I'm older and wiser now...
Also I was 24, and had done the working holiday thing in Europe and USA so thought I was pretty much invincible.
Can't say I wanted to leave the UK as such, but I certainly never thought about it and analysed it the same way as I have made the decision to come back 11 years later. Maybe I'm older and wiser now...
It wasn't so much that I hated the UK but I suppose like most Brits you get caught up in the negativity about the place and after one too many winters stuck in with little ones I began to long for a freer existence. Also, ever since being a kid I wanted to live in other countries, just for the excitement and experience.
I think I fall into the older (definitely) and wiser (hopefully) category too.
Aug 21st 2008, 9:21 pm
#17
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
i wanted to experiance a different way of life have only been here 6 months but i cant wait to get back home to reality and its the feeling of where i belong
Aug 22nd 2008, 1:55 am
#18
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
A very good question.
For me, the first time I moved from UK to Australia I was only 14 and moved with my parents. I can't say they didn't give me any choice, but they made the alternative sound very unappealing (I won't go into how) and they also promised me lots of things would happen in Australia that didn't.
Anyway as soon as I got the chance to move back home I did, but I was still only 18 and I made the mistake of thinking things would be exactly as I remembered them, and they were not.
I found relationships with my family and with old UK friends extremely difficult.
Looking back I was somewhat nieve back then and lacking in patience and life experience. Had I given it longer I think things would have worked out ok.
Unfortunately though I found that after 2 years in UK, with absolutely no support from any of my family or friends, (in fact they were all telling me constantly to go back to Australia) I had had as much as I could take.
I moved back to Australia again, not because I disliked Britain, or because I liked Australia, but out of sheer desperation because I felt like I had exhausted all other possibilities.
That move back to Australia was meant to be only temporary while I got back the strength willpower to go back to UK again and start again, again!
It has been 13 years since I moved back to Australia and it has taken until now for me to be able to make a firm decision to go back again!
Anyway the point is that on both occasions that I left UK, it was not because I disliked anything in Britain.
This time, I will go back with the full knowledge of what to expect, and a lot more maturity and life experience on my side. Another way of explaining that is to say that I've become more cynical now I suppose, as most people do. That's not a good thing, but sadly it's a necessary thing that helps you cope with the shit that life throws at you.
That probably sounds like I'm feeling negative about returning to Britain, but nothing could be further from the truth. I am very excited, and looking forward to lots of wonderful things I will experience there. I also know that it won't be easy though and there will no doubt be things I don't like, but it's good to be prepared for that so I can be strong and deal with them.
For me, the first time I moved from UK to Australia I was only 14 and moved with my parents. I can't say they didn't give me any choice, but they made the alternative sound very unappealing (I won't go into how) and they also promised me lots of things would happen in Australia that didn't.
Anyway as soon as I got the chance to move back home I did, but I was still only 18 and I made the mistake of thinking things would be exactly as I remembered them, and they were not.
I found relationships with my family and with old UK friends extremely difficult.
Looking back I was somewhat nieve back then and lacking in patience and life experience. Had I given it longer I think things would have worked out ok.
Unfortunately though I found that after 2 years in UK, with absolutely no support from any of my family or friends, (in fact they were all telling me constantly to go back to Australia) I had had as much as I could take.
I moved back to Australia again, not because I disliked Britain, or because I liked Australia, but out of sheer desperation because I felt like I had exhausted all other possibilities.
That move back to Australia was meant to be only temporary while I got back the strength willpower to go back to UK again and start again, again!
It has been 13 years since I moved back to Australia and it has taken until now for me to be able to make a firm decision to go back again!
Anyway the point is that on both occasions that I left UK, it was not because I disliked anything in Britain.
This time, I will go back with the full knowledge of what to expect, and a lot more maturity and life experience on my side. Another way of explaining that is to say that I've become more cynical now I suppose, as most people do. That's not a good thing, but sadly it's a necessary thing that helps you cope with the shit that life throws at you.
That probably sounds like I'm feeling negative about returning to Britain, but nothing could be further from the truth. I am very excited, and looking forward to lots of wonderful things I will experience there. I also know that it won't be easy though and there will no doubt be things I don't like, but it's good to be prepared for that so I can be strong and deal with them.
Aug 22nd 2008, 2:46 am
#19
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
It's amazing reading through these forums to read how many people have bounced around, back and forwards between other places and the UK. I thought I was the only one, and felt really stupid, as though I didn't know where I wanted to be.
I left the UK for Northern California and got married (stupidly) within a few months to an older woman just so I could stay. I was number three for her, and we figured it was worth a try. My parents and friends in the UK virtually disowned me.
Within 9 months I was going crazy feeling so stupid, selfish and alone. I went into therapy for three months and gained the courage to tell my wife I wanted to go home to the UK. So we sold everything and went. We arrived back in the UK to a lot of negativity in my family circle and I too heard from a lot of people the reasons I should just move back again, or why the heck I had come back to the UK. So we moved to Spain... hated it. Then to France and settled in Normandy. We were three for three months then during a trip to the UK to see family I got sick with hepatitis and was stuck trying to get well again for three months at my Mum's. That was really tough because everyone hated my wife.
So (eventually) I got well, and we moved into our own rental. I worked in London and we agreed to go back to California after another 5 months.
Within a year I was back in therapy and miserable (Goodness re-reading this I sound like a sad f***er...sorry) but we started a business and I was locked in with employees and business loans.
I woke up 10 years later and we divorced. We had nothing between us except the business.
Since then I have remarried and am SO HAPPY. My wife #2 was from the East Coast so we moved back here and we're trying to start a family. And now the plan is set to move back to the UK, as a family, in 2010. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. And like the previous poster, I too know and expect that not everything will be easy. But after the last almost 20 years of craziness, I'm definitely more prepared to deal with it. I am so looking forward to getting back into the UK culture!!
I left the UK for Northern California and got married (stupidly) within a few months to an older woman just so I could stay. I was number three for her, and we figured it was worth a try. My parents and friends in the UK virtually disowned me.
Within 9 months I was going crazy feeling so stupid, selfish and alone. I went into therapy for three months and gained the courage to tell my wife I wanted to go home to the UK. So we sold everything and went. We arrived back in the UK to a lot of negativity in my family circle and I too heard from a lot of people the reasons I should just move back again, or why the heck I had come back to the UK. So we moved to Spain... hated it. Then to France and settled in Normandy. We were three for three months then during a trip to the UK to see family I got sick with hepatitis and was stuck trying to get well again for three months at my Mum's. That was really tough because everyone hated my wife.
So (eventually) I got well, and we moved into our own rental. I worked in London and we agreed to go back to California after another 5 months.
Within a year I was back in therapy and miserable (Goodness re-reading this I sound like a sad f***er...sorry) but we started a business and I was locked in with employees and business loans.
I woke up 10 years later and we divorced. We had nothing between us except the business.
Since then I have remarried and am SO HAPPY. My wife #2 was from the East Coast so we moved back here and we're trying to start a family. And now the plan is set to move back to the UK, as a family, in 2010. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. And like the previous poster, I too know and expect that not everything will be easy. But after the last almost 20 years of craziness, I'm definitely more prepared to deal with it. I am so looking forward to getting back into the UK culture!!
Aug 22nd 2008, 2:53 am
#20
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Location: Southwestern Illinois, USA
Posts: 1,902
Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
It's amazing reading through these forums to read how many people have bounced around, back and forwards between other places and the UK. I thought I was the only one, and felt really stupid, as though I didn't know where I wanted to be.
I left the UK for Northern California and got married (stupidly) within a few months to an older woman just so I could stay. I was number three for her, and we figured it was worth a try. My parents and friends in the UK virtually disowned me.
Within 9 months I was going crazy feeling so stupid, selfish and alone. I went into therapy for three months and gained the courage to tell my wife I wanted to go home to the UK. So we sold everything and went. We arrived back in the UK to a lot of negativity in my family circle and I too heard from a lot of people the reasons I should just move back again, or why the heck I had come back to the UK. So we moved to Spain... hated it. Then to France and settled in Normandy. We were three for three months then during a trip to the UK to see family I got sick with hepatitis and was stuck trying to get well again for three months at my Mum's. That was really tough because everyone hated my wife.
So (eventually) I got well, and we moved into our own rental. I worked in London and we agreed to go back to California after another 5 months.
Within a year I was back in therapy and miserable (Goodness re-reading this I sound like a sad f***er...sorry) but we started a business and I was locked in with employees and business loans.
I woke up 10 years later and we divorced. We had nothing between us except the business.
Since then I have remarried and am SO HAPPY. My wife #2 was from the East Coast so we moved back here and we're trying to start a family. And now the plan is set to move back to the UK, as a family, in 2010. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. And like the previous poster, I too know and expect that not everything will be easy. But after the last almost 20 years of craziness, I'm definitely more prepared to deal with it. I am so looking forward to getting back into the UK culture!!
I left the UK for Northern California and got married (stupidly) within a few months to an older woman just so I could stay. I was number three for her, and we figured it was worth a try. My parents and friends in the UK virtually disowned me.
Within 9 months I was going crazy feeling so stupid, selfish and alone. I went into therapy for three months and gained the courage to tell my wife I wanted to go home to the UK. So we sold everything and went. We arrived back in the UK to a lot of negativity in my family circle and I too heard from a lot of people the reasons I should just move back again, or why the heck I had come back to the UK. So we moved to Spain... hated it. Then to France and settled in Normandy. We were three for three months then during a trip to the UK to see family I got sick with hepatitis and was stuck trying to get well again for three months at my Mum's. That was really tough because everyone hated my wife.
So (eventually) I got well, and we moved into our own rental. I worked in London and we agreed to go back to California after another 5 months.
Within a year I was back in therapy and miserable (Goodness re-reading this I sound like a sad f***er...sorry) but we started a business and I was locked in with employees and business loans.
I woke up 10 years later and we divorced. We had nothing between us except the business.
Since then I have remarried and am SO HAPPY. My wife #2 was from the East Coast so we moved back here and we're trying to start a family. And now the plan is set to move back to the UK, as a family, in 2010. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. And like the previous poster, I too know and expect that not everything will be easy. But after the last almost 20 years of craziness, I'm definitely more prepared to deal with it. I am so looking forward to getting back into the UK culture!!
Aug 22nd 2008, 2:59 am
#21
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
Yes thank goodness. Plus my ex was 13 years my senior and my lovely current (and forever) wife is 12 years my junior so I got it right this time 
Aug 22nd 2008, 3:11 am
#22
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Aug 22nd 2008, 3:13 am
#23
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Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
We thought it would be an interesting opportunity for the boys as well.......... which it could have been if things had gone according to plan. However, emigrating with teenagers is not something I would recommend...
We always knew it would not be forever.
Not all expats emigrate because they dislike the UK.
Aug 22nd 2008, 2:56 pm
#24
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Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Home- "Glasgow"
Posts: 1,137
Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
Along with the fact that i was heading out here 15 years ago and decided against it at that time as i couldnt leave my son who was 5 at the time, all i did was think about moving here and the what if`s kept comming into my head which i imposed on the missus (current missus)
for a long time until she decided to see for herself, only just to shut me up me thinksanyway we came over in 2005 for 6 weeks and guess what? we both thought this would be the life and decided to give it a go. simple as that!
anyway.................
Last edited by Sunny_Glesga; Aug 22nd 2008 at 3:02 pm.
Aug 24th 2008, 4:45 am
#25
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
I never did really. I went because of someone else's job. More fool me 
Aug 24th 2008, 11:23 am
#26
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
Why did I want to leave the Uk so much??
It's a really good question actually.
I was ill a few years ago and when I started getting better I felt I wanted to give my hubbie and me a chance at something different - incase I got ill again, and would never have that chance. My hubbie had never lived outwith the Uk before and I wanted him to have the experience so that if anything DID reocurr with me, he'd have tried it himself and known for himself what it was like.
Basically that was my main reason.
However, I had been here before - twice infact - and second time 'round I hated it. I had lots of doubts when we were going through the visa application process and felt I wanted to get off the train so to speak, but just couldn't.
We did try to make a good go of it here and house hunted for the first 13 months - every single weekend ( bar one! ) plus any viewings mid week. It got to be draining and frustrating. I really resented greedy estate agents and sellers here and didn't find house hunting to be exciting or interesting like I found it back home.
Eventually after 15months of so many dissapointments ( house buying and with both our jobs here ) we said we'd had enough and it was time to quit and return to the Uk. I've always felt that life is too short to be unhappy anywhere and I didn't want to waste our precious time.
Unlike some, we are returning to an area we haven't lived in before but have visited many times. Hoping to settle in York and hoping to find our dream, bargain home soon after we get back. I hope we'll be luckier when we get back as we've had nothing but obstacles and bad experiences here.
I've really felt as though we just weren't meant to be here.
There was never anything "wrong" as such with Blighty. I suppose the weather was a MINOR issue but not the reason we wanted to get away.
By being out here though I can clearly see the benefits if living in the Uk - locality to europe for travelling to, vast competition amongst the shops there, the NHS, ( free and accessable!! ) culture and history all around, beautiful countryside, great TV/FILM industry and a good place to buy in for anyone returning there - just to name a few positives.
I think the advertising of Australia as a migrant opportunity is falsely promoted in the UK. Sun/sand/tourquise waters/tans/big smiles and bigger houses - that's all you get to see. You see none of what you'd REALLY get for your money over here house wise. You don't get to see the fact that ozzie employers expect more than normal from their employees and getting you to forfeit annual leave and stay on late every day is just part of your "committment" to them! You also don't see how much worse off you'll be financially when you take Medicare,Private Health care and cost of living into consideraton for example.
We are certainly not better off here. Perish the thought we had to rely on our retirement here - I'd still be working at 80!!
Bring on the Blightymeister - I'm acomin home, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a really good question actually.
I was ill a few years ago and when I started getting better I felt I wanted to give my hubbie and me a chance at something different - incase I got ill again, and would never have that chance. My hubbie had never lived outwith the Uk before and I wanted him to have the experience so that if anything DID reocurr with me, he'd have tried it himself and known for himself what it was like.
Basically that was my main reason.
However, I had been here before - twice infact - and second time 'round I hated it. I had lots of doubts when we were going through the visa application process and felt I wanted to get off the train so to speak, but just couldn't.
We did try to make a good go of it here and house hunted for the first 13 months - every single weekend ( bar one! ) plus any viewings mid week. It got to be draining and frustrating. I really resented greedy estate agents and sellers here and didn't find house hunting to be exciting or interesting like I found it back home.
Eventually after 15months of so many dissapointments ( house buying and with both our jobs here ) we said we'd had enough and it was time to quit and return to the Uk. I've always felt that life is too short to be unhappy anywhere and I didn't want to waste our precious time.
Unlike some, we are returning to an area we haven't lived in before but have visited many times. Hoping to settle in York and hoping to find our dream, bargain home soon after we get back. I hope we'll be luckier when we get back as we've had nothing but obstacles and bad experiences here.
I've really felt as though we just weren't meant to be here.
There was never anything "wrong" as such with Blighty. I suppose the weather was a MINOR issue but not the reason we wanted to get away.
By being out here though I can clearly see the benefits if living in the Uk - locality to europe for travelling to, vast competition amongst the shops there, the NHS, ( free and accessable!! ) culture and history all around, beautiful countryside, great TV/FILM industry and a good place to buy in for anyone returning there - just to name a few positives.
I think the advertising of Australia as a migrant opportunity is falsely promoted in the UK. Sun/sand/tourquise waters/tans/big smiles and bigger houses - that's all you get to see. You see none of what you'd REALLY get for your money over here house wise. You don't get to see the fact that ozzie employers expect more than normal from their employees and getting you to forfeit annual leave and stay on late every day is just part of your "committment" to them! You also don't see how much worse off you'll be financially when you take Medicare,Private Health care and cost of living into consideraton for example.
We are certainly not better off here. Perish the thought we had to rely on our retirement here - I'd still be working at 80!!
Bring on the Blightymeister - I'm acomin home, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every word here is so true, and you could post it and post it on here and the majority (like us) wont believe it, you have to come and find out for yourself, and then go home.
Aint that the truth about work!! come end october i will have been in my job in the hosp for one year with no a/l and have asked 3 times , emailed the person concerned , printed out the emails and posted them to him,and i have more or less told am waaaaaaaayyy down the pecking order, am about ready to leave (although job wise its as good as it gets here), coz mentally i need one week a/l. I cant believe how much i took for granted the a/l and flexiblility my job in the nhs gave me, if one thing i will certainly go back with a completely different work ethic, i will give the nhs 100% and more.
Aug 25th 2008, 1:13 am
#27
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
THE WEATHER. But now I don't think I'll ever moan about it again (well, maybe just a little bit), Whenever I go home I realise just how stunningly beautiful the countryside is. I'm not scottish but all the time running through my head is the Scottish Soldier song - ' but those green hills are not highland hills nor the island hills they're not my land hills'
that brought tears to my eyes. My old mum used to sing that song all the time when she first arrived in Oz,she was so homesick, always wanting to return to her homeland.
After 7 years in Oz she passed away never ever to see her green hills of home again.
Aug 27th 2008, 3:57 am
#28
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 57
Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
However, really, we thought we'd have the opportunity to really make a difference in the world, and the US seemed like it had more opportunities in the NGO, Non-Profit and Charity world.
What we came to realise is its just like the UK, only more so, in the sense that its incredibly difficult to break into these environments unless you've a list of networking contacts as long as your arm or you're prepared to start at the absolute bottom and work your way from unpaid volunteer up to a semi-sane salary.
So, a little wiser and a lot more loaded down with debt, its back to blighty for us. I am glad we did it, in a very perverse sense, in that it has totally made me realsie how important simplicity in life is for me- I could never achieve it in the US due to all the debt we ran up during the farce of an immigration process and the high cost of living in NE (and the fact the OT refused to downsize her stuff...), but I had a pretty simple life in the UK, I just didn't realise it- or rather, I didn't value simplicity.
Now I'm looking forward to a little flat in my home town that doesn't break us financially, a job in a warehouse or a normal office job (not like the one I have currently).
Also, I never appreciated the weather in the UK. After 3 years in NE, I can't WAIT for weather that I can jog in all year round, except maybe during January/February, rather than here in Vermont where the summer sucks, the winter's worse, and spring and autumn last for two weeks combined.
looking forward to getting back into shape SO MUCH...
Aug 27th 2008, 4:17 am
#29
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Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
Also, I never appreciated the weather in the UK. After 3 years in NE, I can't WAIT for weather that I can jog in all year round, except maybe during January/February, rather than here in Vermont where the summer sucks, the winter's worse, and spring and autumn last for two weeks combined.
Like 'Gettingtheflipout' says, the winters are endless. Shoveling snow is fun the first few times. But after you've been doing it day in, day out for five months, just to get in your driveway or receive the mail (because the mailman won't bother with your house if you have snow on your steps), it gets really old. Then you have a month (if you're lucky) of weather that you can actually go outside in (without wellies, big coats, and wooly hats). All the trees pop leaves and it's Spring. You quickly get the house fixed up for next winter and garden sorted. The garden just starts to look good when it gets unbearably hot and humid, with torrential rains and heavy storms every few days, and you lose half your plants and flowers to the heat.
Then if you're lucky, in September it starts to cool off so you don't have to run the AC during the night to sleep comfortably. Hopefully we'll have a month or two of reasonable temps. What's left of the garden after the heat will come back until we start getting heavy frosts again in October. If we're lucky we won't see heavy snow until December. But that won't be gone until April and off we go again.
I've only been here since 2002 and I've seen heavy snowfalls as early as late September and as late as my Mum's birthday, May 25th.
Like I said, anyone considering a move to this area should think about the weather situation with eyes wide open. And if you're into any kind of outdoor activity, know that your activity period will be a lot shorter.
Aug 27th 2008, 7:43 am
#30
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Posts: 57
Re: WHY did you want to leave UK so much?!?
MrMuffin- spot on. we attempted to garden last year and gave up in exhaustion- you have to be one hundred percent commited to it, and be geared towards NE-style gardening (obvious, I know, but when the least of your worries as a gardener in the uk is staving off the slug attacks and dealing with the occasional early morning frost, suddenly having to deal with the fact you can't even break the surface of the soil until at the earliest mid-april can come as a bit of a reality check )
and ditto on the outdoor sports- I'm used to being able to play my beloved airsoft, as well as jogging and hiking all year round in the UK, with the occasional break in january, while wearing nothing more specialist than a waterproof running jacket, tracky bottoms and cheap running shoes, but if you aren't born to the NE weather (ie, have no problem with going for a jog at 5 in the morning before work starts at 8 (what is it with vermont and 8am starts?!) in pitch black and the wind so cold your tear ducts and nasel hairs freeze), or love winter sports (nope, not for me- paying through the nose plus gas to hurtle down a hill while decked out in neon pink and humming the theme to "ski sunday" just ain't my bag...) then you'd better develop a love of indoor activities...
)and ditto on the outdoor sports- I'm used to being able to play my beloved airsoft, as well as jogging and hiking all year round in the UK, with the occasional break in january, while wearing nothing more specialist than a waterproof running jacket, tracky bottoms and cheap running shoes, but if you aren't born to the NE weather (ie, have no problem with going for a jog at 5 in the morning before work starts at 8 (what is it with vermont and 8am starts?!) in pitch black and the wind so cold your tear ducts and nasel hairs freeze), or love winter sports (nope, not for me- paying through the nose plus gas to hurtle down a hill while decked out in neon pink and humming the theme to "ski sunday" just ain't my bag...) then you'd better develop a love of indoor activities...
