Cumbrian Lass

From day to day,week to week,month to month we keep changing our minds as to wether to move back to the UK or stay here in Alberta. There are so many pro's and con's.Last night me and my OH sat with a pen and paper and wrote all the pro's and all the con's to stay in each country.To our surprise the were both exactly equal.
The biggest thing we miss are family ,friends and just the Brits and our connection. We dont want to go back and fail......and i think that is our biggest fear. My OH has a great job here and we have a beautiful home.If we went back we would'nt have the house we have now thats for sure.......but thats material.
Its so hard to make the right decision !!!!
but people keep saying "you can always move back,if it doesnt work out"
I think if we are oging to do it,its now or never.Our son will be getting too old for it to be smooth sailing......
Is it a good time to go back ????

Mummy in the foothills

Only you can decide, go with your Gut. If it's a good time for settling your child there, then maybe it is the right time.

Cumbrian Lass

My gut is telling me to give the UK a try. I'm just scared it will turn out a flop and we loose alot of money.But i supose we will never know if we dont do it !

charleygirl

How old is your son, i know you posted before but I forget, but definitely do it before middle school if you can.

Mummy in the foothills

If you never go and try, you'll never know, and you'll spend your life wondering what if. If you go and in a couple years hate it, you can ping pong back. It's only money right

Wawa

Sometimes its good to try to imagine how your lives would look in 10-20 years time. Try to see yourselves getting older in Alberta and how you would be able to adapt to having aging parents with possible health problems back home, the relationships between your children and their uncles/aunts/cousins/ grandparents. Not sure how old you are, but these were questions I asked myself, and the answer was as plain as day - I do not want to get old in Canada - we have few friends and no family here. As we are getting on (early 50's) we have decided to go back. Of course at this age a whole new set of challenges are trying to trip us up, retirement, pensions, decent jobs, buying or renting....Exhausting!!
One day, it will just seem so obvious. As Mummy said, only you can make the choice. Are you Canadian citizens?

Cumbrian Lass

yes we are citizans which is such a fantastic thing to have !!!!
we are mid 40's,so yes i agree to what you said about the aging parents etc and No we dont want to retire here.So maybe ive answered my question right there.
How long have you been in Canada?
it will be 10yrs for us and still dont connect really well....
when are you going back?

Sazzer

Like you we have discussed about going back to the UK and then we look at the pro's & con's which always workout about the same. There is no clear winner which obviously makes it very hard to make a logical decision. If you knew you could get a good job and a nice house in the UK would you be second guessing whether or not to go, probably not. So who ever earns the most money in the family could go back to the UK to see if they could find a job. If you or your husband cannot find a job, then maybe going back now isn't the best thing to do. Yet if you feel you don't want to live the rest of your life in Canada then there might never be a RIGHT TIME. Before you know it your son might being having a family of his own (I believe he's 13 but time goes quickly) and then you won't want to go back. Leaving him and his new family would be extremely hard.

We have talked about going back for two years to see how we feel and then decided whether to stay or go back to Canada. If we did go we would rent our house, put everything in storage (not too sure about the cats). If we decided to come back, hopefully we wouldn't have lost too much money.

After ten years here my husband still doesn't feel he belongs and he misses the UK countryside. For the first few years I would have gone back but now I feel more comfortable in Canada then I do the UK. I've changed and so has the UK, although I love going back but to live I'm not too sure.

The worse case scenario would be for you to go back to the UK and not be able to find jobs, so maybe that's the first thing to focus on.

Cumbrian Lass

yes i think we should try it and if all else fails we come back again !!!
just need the house to sell now

Englishman43

That's great advice. I asked myself that question a few years back and the answer came very quickly to me.

dunroving

I understand the logic behind this approach, but a spin-off question is "what about the intervening 10-20 years?".

If I look ahead to my retirement (which is a moving target under the current and future governments, unfortunately), I think the UK would probably be an easier place to live (though I don't have the large network of family and friends that draws a lot of people back in retirement). More benefits and support for retirees, better public transport, cheaper avenues for recreation and leisure pursuits, etc.

But I don't know if spending the next 15 years in a situation that is driving me nuts is a worthwhile price to pay for a retirement with a higher standard of living. I could get to 65 (or 67 under current government plans) and drop dead before I get the chance to enjoy my pension!

Cumbrian Lass

with a bit of luch the government will sort itself out by then lol !!!!
I would like to drop dead in my own country rather than one with no roots LOL !!!!
I do know where you are coming from though..........i think it will sort itself out within years to come

confusedenglishrose

Hello, one gauge I often use for myself is to say if money were no object or if I won the lottery tomorrow where would I go. My answer to that has been very consistent I would choose the UK.

Another similar idea to the pro's and cons is to have two jars beside your bed one labeled Uk and the other Alberta. Each morning or whatever time of day, when you wake up. Put a coin, pebble, piece of paper, something! in one of the jars depending on how you feel. Over time should become self evident where you need to be and is a fun way to track your change of heart

Cumbrian Lass

Great idea ...thanks for that !

sallysimmons

My favorite question when I'm trying to make a decision is to ask myself 'what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?'

So much of our decision-making process is about avoiding risk, but we're usually worrying about things we can't control anyway and that will probably never happen. And we never include the risks of NOT doing what we're considering.

Asking that question hasn't led me astray yet.

I also agree with the 'where do you see yourself in 10 years' question. If I look at my life here in 10 years, I see loneliness and worry about aging family members back home. If I think of my life in England, I see company and being able to help aging family members. For me, there's no contest. I'd be lying if I said I'm not still scared about the move - but I go back to the first question 'what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?' and I know I'd go home.