kryt0n

Hi y'all.

I'm British and left the UK in 2012 for a WHV in Canada. We ended up there for 2 years and are now in NZ. We are applying for Canadian PR but if for any reason it falls through (they decide I ticked the wrong box and give us a 5 year ban...) we will of course be moving back to the UK.

Now, why am I so afraid of moving back to the UK? I grew up in Lincolnshire and then moved to Bristol. My boyfriend grew up in Cornwall and it's likely if/when we go back we will end up living in that area.

Job wise, well, I used to work for the MoD and boyf used to work for Airbus. TBH we have decided that we now don't ever want to be back in a complete office based job so will be (happily) starting from scratch and finding what we want to do.

Anywho, why does the idea of moving back to the UK fill me with such dread?

Those moving back, have you got any advice to help me get over my worries?

astera

When you think about the move, what is it that worries you the most?

My guess is that the two issues that bother you the most are:

1) finances - you have probably enjoyed a much better time abroad financially and are worrying that a move back will hurt both of you in terms of working conditions and the pay. As you mentioned you do not want to become corporate drones so the main worry is how to move forward from here. Is there any way you could both start a business together? Or have jobs that would not require you each going your separate way to spend the entire day in an office? Could your experience in the MoD allow you to become an analyst/writer for a publication like JDW for instance?

2) returning and never "going international" again - one of the issues my wife and I were worried about was that whilst we continue to live abroad, even moving countries, there will be some momentum in our lives, something to look forward to, new experiences, etc. And our worry was that once we return to Europe we will settle down and probably never live abroad again for decades. In a way it is what has made our detour to Australia possible - we simply thought that whilst we are in the region we should make the most of the possibilities available to us and spend some time in Australia before moving on (inevitably to the UK).

Having said all this I am really, really, really keen to move to Europe and settle down in the UK. In a way it's like being in Disney World an hour before it closes and instead of calling it a day, I'm still rushing out to see this one last time, go there for a final look, etc.

kryt0n

I am 29 and my boyfriend is 32. We decided to take a single year out to travel the world but it turned into 2 years in Canada and looks to be at least another 7 months in nz. Even then we might be a couple more months travelling Asia. I am scared seeing more of the world will mean the UK will seem grey compared. Its hard to find people who have attempted or lived abroad and who understand.
Is the UK really as bad as I think it is?

BEVS

No. It will only seem 'grey' if you want that to be so.

Living anywhere for a long period of time can tend to become humdrum to some degree.
Life is often about a compromise.

From what you write you are not ready yet to settle down as such and have itchy feet still. Can you afford another long sojourn somewhere ?

mikemike

Many who are returning to the UK have spent years overseas and will still have very itchy feet when they get home. We are returning as we have two youngsters needing real schooling, that will cost an arm and a leg overseas. This is our compromise.
Many spend 6 summer months in the UK working for agency/seasonal employers then 6 months following the sun, spending all they saved. Easy if not career defined, or have additional personal responsibilities. So, what will you be giving up by returning that is going to fill you with fear and dread?
We have promised that we will travel, except!! that my spouse being non EEU resident will have big issues on her overseas passport. Getting a destination visa and not upsetting HMC by leaving the UK for long summer breaks whilst still trying to pass the 5 year virtual house arrest required for long stay/permanent status.

Looks like we will have to go abroad to Scotland, Wales, Isle of Man and many other ''isle'ofs'' that we have in the UK.

Tr1boy

Unless they have radically changed the time you are allowed out of the UK you are panicking and being overly dramatic. Mrs TB had to do 3 yrs in the UK (old rules) but in the 3 yrs she did at least 3 trips to Sth Korea between 3 and 6 wks each, we went to the U.S. twice for two weeks, Mallorca twice for a week each time, Austria for a week, Belgium twice for a few days, Italy for a week and some other stuff I can't remember.

She obtained ILR and then we spent 7 weeks surfing in the US, she went to Korea a couple of times, 6 weeks in Oz and some Euro stuff and still got citizenship.

christmasoompa

No. I liked Canada, but it offered us nothing that the UK couldn't.

If you did end up coming back to the UK, then I think you'd just need to pick your area carefully, and there are certainly plenty of positives about living in the UK.

Good luck!

kryt0n

Thank you for all your help, guys. I was looking solemnly through the forum when I saw the moving back to UK section and was surprised.
I have poured so much time, money and tears into the Canada application that I am convinced it will end in failure. This is why the UK seems more and more like the worst thing that's going to happen.
We are enjoying NZ but it is so far away from everyone. We mountain bike and snowboard but what's the point when your friends and family are the other side of the world. My boss has offered to keep me here long term but right now I'd rather be back in the UK.

There is a lot a miss about it...but let's see how this election changes stuff

Moses2013

The good thing for you is that you really have a choice which location in the UK offers you the best of all. Some people are only happy if they can move around and always want a new adventure. Some people don't want to move back, because they think it would be a failure and they feel special if they're abroad. BEVS is right that it will only seem 'grey' if you want that to be so. Moving back would be a new chance for you. Personally I'm not bothered about a career, don't mind doing office work, or any other job as long as it pays my mortgage.

kryt0n

Its not about affording now really its move a question of visas. My boyfriend is past the WHV age and I'm almost there. We have managed to stay debt free but with the whv we manage to live, have fun and save just enough to see us on a plane and a month or so at the next destination until we need income again. Post nz we are hoping for a trip around Asia and so are saving for that for early next year. I think May 2016 is when our adult lives will start in one country or the other.

Yes, we do have the whole UK to choose from...hell...we have Europe really. Just feeling lost and scared about growing up. 5 years ago we had careers and a very good income. Now we seem to have mentally gone back 10 years. Do we have to grow up?

Moses2013

Even if you are in the UK, you can still go on holidays or travel at any point in life. You're probably just scared of missing something, but life won't end if you're in the UK.

not2old

why do you have to settle down?

why can you not live the rest of your lives as nomads, many do, even with children?


why do you have to conform to what is perceived as 'normal'. Normal are the things that only you do for yourselves & for the life that you want to live.

Put the UK on the back burner & google 'nomad life'. There are hundreds of blogs on nomadic life, folks that live & move 6 mths at a time - here, there & everywhere.

Your challenge is the visa, PR or second passports if you truly want a global nomadic lfestyle

kryt0n

And that is where I'm loosing the will to carry on. My life has been nothing but visas, paper work, consultants and psychiatrists for over a year now. I would love the idea of a nomadic life but I'm not sure we truly have the personality for it. We have expensive hobbies which require space to store things. Yes, very materialistic, but there it is. I still have no idea how Canada will go. I do want kids one day and I would prefer them to be somewhat stable. Maybe not ruling out a home in the Alps though.

not2old

so you really do want to settle down?

Simple then, you have 6-12 months to 'see if' you can get Canadian PR, which gives you the option to live in Canada or anywhere in the EU - if not, you need the back up plan.

Back up plan is move back to the UK or an EU country, spend 12 months finding the almost perfect location, jobs that pay the bills, along come the kids & now you have become like most rest of the 'family unit' of adults. You will raise the kids, take a few holidays, grow old & wonder 'why couldn't we have had a different life' - 'what would or could we have done more of'?

By 2016, you'll have had a 4-5 year run at exploring the world - but do you really want to settle down at 30?

Many people on the BE forums in their 30's & 40's emigrate to all kinds of funny & different places, dragging kids along with them

Moses2013

Well the solution would be to buy somewhere cheap in Europe where you would feel at home with some form of employment opportunities. You have a place to store your stuff and come back to, but can still go anywhere when you choose.